today was NOT a good day. I woke up early to go to the bookstore, but then my hair was bugging the hell out of me because i had not had a haircut since the end of summer, and now everything just looks bushy! it makes me so mad that my bangs are in a clump and when i separate them by hand they look greasy and gross. so i finally put myself together and left the house only to find out that the coffeeshop was packed, ie. no seats for me to study. this whole morning just sort of adds on to what i had found out yesterday, that my travel agent MESSED up and that my booking information has gone missing! so she had to re-book me and now i either leave on the day after the exam or i dont have seats at all. I was still feeling super annoyed about that because now i have to cancel things with my friends and i have no time to get a haircut and i have to skip 2 hours of work if they'll let me! (and i will find out tonight when i tell my boss at the company dinner, which is the night before my last final). Everything just friggin sucks.
so i went back and watched the Project Runway with the MALE MODELS again. it instantly made me feel better. and i am SO into that guy who's going to study ethnobotany (whatever the hell it means).
2007年12月16日 星期日
2007年12月12日 星期三
Why i watch Project Runway
aFter a long day of exam, i should be starting on the next one straight away, but i decided that i can use a little break while having my dinner. and then i turned on Bravo and Project Runway was on. and it was a competition on men's wear. things were blah blah blah until....THE MODELS CAME IN FOR THE FITTING. i was like HOLY COW!! the models were really hot with their shirts off (or on). it might be shallow of me to say this but i wish i live in the male models changing area. maybe i should change my career and become a fashion assistant right now.
http://defamer.com/hollywood/boys!-boys!-boys!/project-runway-universe-thrown-into-chaos-with-introduction-of-male-models-328147.php
you can find the clip that made me drool here.
http://defamer.com/hollywood/boys!-boys!-boys!/project-runway-universe-thrown-into-chaos-with-introduction-of-male-models-328147.php
you can find the clip that made me drool here.
2007年12月10日 星期一
my xmas wish list
wow, now that i'm reading it again, my last post sounds really angry..i'm considering if i should take it off because people might take it the wrong way. it could come off as egotistic but i really meant it in the nicest, self-cheer-leading way.
Anyway during my recent visits to Borders cafe, i've really come up with my own xmas wish list that i hope to get for myself once i cash my checks, these include:
1. A one year subscription to Newsweek/Times: I hate living in a cave and school really turns you into the most uninformed person in the world. if i still wish to carry a conversation with a regular human being i better read up on the news.
2. A Coach wallet: i normally dont care about the high ended stuff but since my wallet was stolen in June i haven't replaced it with anything (becuase i dont have time) and so now i'm walking around all day with a COIN PURSE that came with my purse and i stuff all the receipts and bills and coins in there. it looks like a white mouse ready to vomit. Really embarrassing these days when i try to pay at the cafeteria and all my coins fall out and my bills look like they are pulled out of a truck driver's back pocket. So yes i need a nice, sensible, affordable coach wallet (which i already decided on the style) to make me look like someone who belongs to the female species again.
3. A book --Atonement. I've been hearing so much about the movie and can't wait til it comes out this weekend. but i've also heard that the book is extremely good and powerful and since the last time i read was in summer (magazines dont count) i realized i can use some literary influence in my life.
4. A one phrase a day French Calendar: i saw this while i was at Borders. it really does sound interesting and helpful for a french-learner. on the cover it says: quels sont vos loisirs? which means what are your interests/leisurements? and it defines the vocab for ya. seeing i've already forgotten 80% of the french i learned it may be really helpful. it also comes in german and italian and chinese. Well, wait til i nail this one first.
Optional:
1. Medical Spanish: will come in handy when i do consultation. it really shouldn't be hard as i only need to know "take X tablet/capsule X times a day for X condition". most medical terms sound exactly the same as Spanish ie. Osteoporosis and diabetes mellitus.
2. Pride and Prejudice Sheet Music for Piano: i know they came out with this because i researched on Amazon. it sounded true to the original score which i thought was beautiful and had a soundtrack of. Now i really want to play it. :)
Wow, so many wishes and so little time and $. gotta budget and see which one goes first. although i do feel that they are all important in different ways, either food for the mind or things that make me look less ghetto.
Anyway during my recent visits to Borders cafe, i've really come up with my own xmas wish list that i hope to get for myself once i cash my checks, these include:
1. A one year subscription to Newsweek/Times: I hate living in a cave and school really turns you into the most uninformed person in the world. if i still wish to carry a conversation with a regular human being i better read up on the news.
2. A Coach wallet: i normally dont care about the high ended stuff but since my wallet was stolen in June i haven't replaced it with anything (becuase i dont have time) and so now i'm walking around all day with a COIN PURSE that came with my purse and i stuff all the receipts and bills and coins in there. it looks like a white mouse ready to vomit. Really embarrassing these days when i try to pay at the cafeteria and all my coins fall out and my bills look like they are pulled out of a truck driver's back pocket. So yes i need a nice, sensible, affordable coach wallet (which i already decided on the style) to make me look like someone who belongs to the female species again.
3. A book --Atonement. I've been hearing so much about the movie and can't wait til it comes out this weekend. but i've also heard that the book is extremely good and powerful and since the last time i read was in summer (magazines dont count) i realized i can use some literary influence in my life.
4. A one phrase a day French Calendar: i saw this while i was at Borders. it really does sound interesting and helpful for a french-learner. on the cover it says: quels sont vos loisirs? which means what are your interests/leisurements? and it defines the vocab for ya. seeing i've already forgotten 80% of the french i learned it may be really helpful. it also comes in german and italian and chinese. Well, wait til i nail this one first.
Optional:
1. Medical Spanish: will come in handy when i do consultation. it really shouldn't be hard as i only need to know "take X tablet/capsule X times a day for X condition". most medical terms sound exactly the same as Spanish ie. Osteoporosis and diabetes mellitus.
2. Pride and Prejudice Sheet Music for Piano: i know they came out with this because i researched on Amazon. it sounded true to the original score which i thought was beautiful and had a soundtrack of. Now i really want to play it. :)
Wow, so many wishes and so little time and $. gotta budget and see which one goes first. although i do feel that they are all important in different ways, either food for the mind or things that make me look less ghetto.
2007年12月4日 星期二
Recap of my night at Busby's
http://www.busbysonline.com/west_details.htm
Last night turned out to be a really interesting experience....I guess my social anxiety always teaches me to expect the worst and when i actually go things aren't half bad. Although the evening did end in a rather interesting way.
My friends and I met up at around 10pm and we headed to Busby's in Santa Monica. Ive never been but according to my friend it's quite a fun place where lots of people hang out. so we got there, and the bar seemed pretty empty. We did not see the bday boy or his entourage, so we decided to sit down for a beer (well, wine for my friends). Aside from the awkwardness that the hosts weren't actually there before us, I actually really liked the bar. There were a lot of things to do and the interior was quite antiquish with the leather button sofas, and chairs next to the fireplace, and brick walls, very homey.
Finally they arrived, and of course the filipino fetish guy showed up first (who i talked to last time and exchanged phone number with). We polited chatted a little, then my friend really seemed to hit it off with him (i can pretty confidently say there's electricity in the air, they both giggle around each other a lot). We followed him to his group and met more people. They were all pretty cool guys. Then for some time i was stranded with this filipino fetish guy (called R for simplicity). So R told me that he's visiting his grandma in Nottingham, England, and i told him i was there for a summer. We had a brief good talk there about the british and that little city which i loved. Just as i thought he was beginning to sound normal he later commented on my friend's filipinoness again (which my friend and I bursted out into laughter for), and that the way i held my beer was kinda defensive and stand-offish, that i should have looked more receptive (a lot of bull). Where did this guy come from? He seriously studies those relationship books WAYYY too much and it was like one bad line after another. I am glad that he'd moved on to my friend and will forever leave my universe.
the evening later became more fun when my other girlfriend and I started playing ping pong against other guys, who were surprisingly all pretty good ping pong players too. haha i totally thought I would dominate this asian sport. but they proved me wrong. then we played some hoops and foosball and pool. At the end of the night I was getting really dizzy and weak and i couldn't figure out why. I didn't drink that much and when i got home i couldn't even finish my shower cuz i was too nauseated. I later found out (duh) that i probably was anemic because i had just gotten my period, and i shouldn't ahve touched anything alcoholic at all. And i only had one bread yesterday because i was rushing to school and didn't buy food. everything in combination caused my sickness. When I woke up this morning the whole room was spinning. But i'm much better now, after being fed and rested.
Last night turned out to be a really interesting experience....I guess my social anxiety always teaches me to expect the worst and when i actually go things aren't half bad. Although the evening did end in a rather interesting way.
My friends and I met up at around 10pm and we headed to Busby's in Santa Monica. Ive never been but according to my friend it's quite a fun place where lots of people hang out. so we got there, and the bar seemed pretty empty. We did not see the bday boy or his entourage, so we decided to sit down for a beer (well, wine for my friends). Aside from the awkwardness that the hosts weren't actually there before us, I actually really liked the bar. There were a lot of things to do and the interior was quite antiquish with the leather button sofas, and chairs next to the fireplace, and brick walls, very homey.
Finally they arrived, and of course the filipino fetish guy showed up first (who i talked to last time and exchanged phone number with). We polited chatted a little, then my friend really seemed to hit it off with him (i can pretty confidently say there's electricity in the air, they both giggle around each other a lot). We followed him to his group and met more people. They were all pretty cool guys. Then for some time i was stranded with this filipino fetish guy (called R for simplicity). So R told me that he's visiting his grandma in Nottingham, England, and i told him i was there for a summer. We had a brief good talk there about the british and that little city which i loved. Just as i thought he was beginning to sound normal he later commented on my friend's filipinoness again (which my friend and I bursted out into laughter for), and that the way i held my beer was kinda defensive and stand-offish, that i should have looked more receptive (a lot of bull). Where did this guy come from? He seriously studies those relationship books WAYYY too much and it was like one bad line after another. I am glad that he'd moved on to my friend and will forever leave my universe.
the evening later became more fun when my other girlfriend and I started playing ping pong against other guys, who were surprisingly all pretty good ping pong players too. haha i totally thought I would dominate this asian sport. but they proved me wrong. then we played some hoops and foosball and pool. At the end of the night I was getting really dizzy and weak and i couldn't figure out why. I didn't drink that much and when i got home i couldn't even finish my shower cuz i was too nauseated. I later found out (duh) that i probably was anemic because i had just gotten my period, and i shouldn't ahve touched anything alcoholic at all. And i only had one bread yesterday because i was rushing to school and didn't buy food. everything in combination caused my sickness. When I woke up this morning the whole room was spinning. But i'm much better now, after being fed and rested.
2007年12月2日 星期日
Social Anxiety again
Oh god, not again.
i know this may sound ridiculous and sad, but yes tomorrow i am sort of forced to go to some guy's bday party and the social anxiety is kicking in already, right now some of the symptoms i have are: cold hands/feet, jitterness, lightheadedness, feeling of nausea and vomiting, panic attack, extreme mood swings.....
I hate to feel this way but it seems like there's really no solution to this problem but simply NOT GO. so the story began as the guy who i met million years ago at this party (the guy who was infatuated with naked filipino arboriginal girls) texted me out of the blue on thanksgiving. I ignored him, just because, i didn't feel like maintaining this friendship before it went even further. And i didn't think he was worthy of my 10 cents of text message charge. Then this past friday, I received another text from him asking if i'd be interested in going to this party on monday. i texted back and asked who it was for and what it was about, and then NOTHING. So i finally heard from my other friend that this dude's friend's having a bday party. So MY FRIEND asked me to come along and because she's very cool and all i decided to accompany her, knowing very well i may run into that dude.
And the thing is, it's not that guy who gives me the social anxiety, somehow after the official start of the holidays i've lost all my balls and drive to hunt myself down a decent boy for the holidays. Somehow i've begun to feel very tired of this whole social adventure that eventually leads to nowhere. I'm sick of the conversation which i may or may not have that does not promote any learning or intellectual excitement. It'll be anther talk with some guy who wishes to find some girl to go home with, or having some guy trying to grab me when he's in a complete buzzed state. But knowing sitting home won't be any better, and will most likely perpetuate the downward cycle i've decided against my wishes and go out. I am just really really tired to having to doll up , just to put myself out there for someone who may never exist. Yes one can argue that i should just look at it as making friends, no hard feelings attached. but as anyone who knows me and knows me well would know, most people irritate me, most GUYS. because if they are young and fun enough they tend to objectify women, and being so uptight and serious i think i rather enjoy a evening in bed watching BJ's Diaries or P&P then letting my skin hang out in extreme cold weathers.
Oh god, if i can cut to the year when i meet THE ONE i'd love to be there right now.
now my friends really are all paired up, i'm feeling pretty bummed right now. :(
i know this may sound ridiculous and sad, but yes tomorrow i am sort of forced to go to some guy's bday party and the social anxiety is kicking in already, right now some of the symptoms i have are: cold hands/feet, jitterness, lightheadedness, feeling of nausea and vomiting, panic attack, extreme mood swings.....
I hate to feel this way but it seems like there's really no solution to this problem but simply NOT GO. so the story began as the guy who i met million years ago at this party (the guy who was infatuated with naked filipino arboriginal girls) texted me out of the blue on thanksgiving. I ignored him, just because, i didn't feel like maintaining this friendship before it went even further. And i didn't think he was worthy of my 10 cents of text message charge. Then this past friday, I received another text from him asking if i'd be interested in going to this party on monday. i texted back and asked who it was for and what it was about, and then NOTHING. So i finally heard from my other friend that this dude's friend's having a bday party. So MY FRIEND asked me to come along and because she's very cool and all i decided to accompany her, knowing very well i may run into that dude.
And the thing is, it's not that guy who gives me the social anxiety, somehow after the official start of the holidays i've lost all my balls and drive to hunt myself down a decent boy for the holidays. Somehow i've begun to feel very tired of this whole social adventure that eventually leads to nowhere. I'm sick of the conversation which i may or may not have that does not promote any learning or intellectual excitement. It'll be anther talk with some guy who wishes to find some girl to go home with, or having some guy trying to grab me when he's in a complete buzzed state. But knowing sitting home won't be any better, and will most likely perpetuate the downward cycle i've decided against my wishes and go out. I am just really really tired to having to doll up , just to put myself out there for someone who may never exist. Yes one can argue that i should just look at it as making friends, no hard feelings attached. but as anyone who knows me and knows me well would know, most people irritate me, most GUYS. because if they are young and fun enough they tend to objectify women, and being so uptight and serious i think i rather enjoy a evening in bed watching BJ's Diaries or P&P then letting my skin hang out in extreme cold weathers.
Oh god, if i can cut to the year when i meet THE ONE i'd love to be there right now.
now my friends really are all paired up, i'm feeling pretty bummed right now. :(
2007年12月1日 星期六
how do you know
how do you know you've been single for too long?
(this post would sound much better written in Chinese but at 135am i neither have the time nor the energy to do so...)
Anyway i had this realization today when i was at a holiday party. We were playing games and one of them was passing oranges with your neck (or any body part but your hands). So i was the first person to go in my team (thank god). You wouldn't think it was that hard because i was wearing a v-neck so my neck was exposed and i was passing it to a girl. but when the game started i seriously had the hardest time accomplishing this simple, simple task. As soon as my friend approached me with her hair rubbing on my chest (or neck) i got so ticklish i backed away or started squirming uncomfortably. and then the orange dropped. it was the worst feeling in the world because you knew your team depended on you but you jsut couldn't help feeling awkward as ass when someone's head was nestled in your chest (i believe i was blushing from it too). I later described it to kate that it was an experience like being neck/chest-raped. You couldn't fully pull yourself away because you still need to pass the orange and you need to stop the orange from falling by sticking your boobs up, but having someone's head there......god...what a nightmare. this is how you know you've been single for too long when you can't stand another person (male or female) having physical contact with your body. it was awkward as ass, may i say.
the only upside of the holiday party was that, i got some really cute presents. oh and we had panda express cater the event. :) (and i only liked their orange chicken).
(this post would sound much better written in Chinese but at 135am i neither have the time nor the energy to do so...)
Anyway i had this realization today when i was at a holiday party. We were playing games and one of them was passing oranges with your neck (or any body part but your hands). So i was the first person to go in my team (thank god). You wouldn't think it was that hard because i was wearing a v-neck so my neck was exposed and i was passing it to a girl. but when the game started i seriously had the hardest time accomplishing this simple, simple task. As soon as my friend approached me with her hair rubbing on my chest (or neck) i got so ticklish i backed away or started squirming uncomfortably. and then the orange dropped. it was the worst feeling in the world because you knew your team depended on you but you jsut couldn't help feeling awkward as ass when someone's head was nestled in your chest (i believe i was blushing from it too). I later described it to kate that it was an experience like being neck/chest-raped. You couldn't fully pull yourself away because you still need to pass the orange and you need to stop the orange from falling by sticking your boobs up, but having someone's head there......god...what a nightmare. this is how you know you've been single for too long when you can't stand another person (male or female) having physical contact with your body. it was awkward as ass, may i say.
the only upside of the holiday party was that, i got some really cute presents. oh and we had panda express cater the event. :) (and i only liked their orange chicken).
2007年11月26日 星期一
2007年11月21日 星期三
YES!!!!!
I made it to Thanksgiving!!! Thankgod! I definitely feel more thankful this year than ever. So many things to be thankful for. I remember at the beginning of August, DREADING the beginning the school because it would be like first f'n year all over again. That and the f'n IV rotation which required me to spend 5 hrs in the morning in the IV room making IV bags ON MY FEET and waking up at 530am and still remembered not to poked myself with the needle. I SURVIVED IT! I can proudly announce that i've put that behind me. The class offically ended last week with a presentation at 7am and a final the following day at 630am. I survived the cruel, cold-blooded professor and people in my rotation who seemed to be slave-drivers. I managed to survive the rotatin without hurting them (or be hurt). :) I still can't believe it. i'm overjoyed! >< whoopie doo! I used to count down to the weeks i have left of IV, and how many days each week i needed to be in. And the number of exams which coincided with my rotation (I think there were six, including 2 finals). And I'm still here with my full head of hair.
So, i let out a victorious scream when class ended early today. I made it to THANKSGIVING!! What can be sweeter than this? I actually made it to thanksgiving and the dinner table! So what are some of the things i am REALLY thankful for:
1) gotta be my parents, always. They keep me in school, although i keep having freak out episodes and clam that i'm going to drop out any day now after a bad exam or a bad run-in with a classmate. They always lend a ear and help me put things in perspective. I am so thankful for them.
2) my new friends this year from my class: B, S, V. without V I would definitely be a really, really unhappy person during IV. She's always so positive and hilarious and so sweet. She's a couple years younger but i've always enjoyed talking to her. She's a real sweetheart, and pretty too. God really gives her a lot of love. ;) j/k. And B and S, I am so thankful that i met them and got to know them better this year. They are some of the nicest people i can find in my class. We are all single and all like to have fun so i now finally have people to go to mixers with! ;) We've hit up a couple major events this year and managed to have super fun memories. It's great that we also love to try out new places in town, i have to say they make LA a much more fun city to live in being a single gal. I really can't express how much these people made my life easier this year in school.
3) Tamaki Hiroshi and Nodame Cantabile: If i never watched that drama i would have never been reminded of the good old days when I used to love and play music. Yes Long Vacation was a good drama too but it wasn't so much about classical music and the comeraderie spirits. I was so inspired by the drama that I decided to pick up piano again. And since then i never looked back. I was really in love with tamaki hiroshi because he was so cute in it. and knowing that he and the girl had that connection of music which brought them together in the end was so, romantic. It made me want to believe in something that real, and concentrate on what I love too. I can't expect people to like me being so negative and souless all the time. I have to do something that makes me happy and a lovable person. I have to say cousin J facilitated the process in a way too. I think one of the things that really shook me was that, when I was in a "New castle" with her, she got on that piano and started playing, the whole place filled with music in the air, one of the best moments during the trip.
4) My old buddies R, E: R has definitely been there for me every step of the way. I have changed so much since college, both inside and out. I have had periods of depression, and elevation, and just a bunch of unpredictable mood swings, but she was there along the way. We'd always meet up and discuss our lives and i always feel rejuvenated after talking to her. I am so glad that i have someone who knows the real me and that i'm really not a psycho. I just get hurt, and get angry, and get sad like everyone else. The same goes for E. She's been the nicest sweetheart along the way. She's been with me through the breakup, my sad sad single days in college. She's been my make up tutor, my fashion stylist (i dressed like crap), and career counselor. I dont know where I would be w/o her. She's so resourceful about school activities and always try to get me involved. and she's so artistic and crafty. I dont think she's my second mom at all, she's just a really, really close friend. I am so happy that i've met her. They both make my pharm school journey that much better too.
5)My old, old friends B,V: Always there to listen to me and give me advice, have known me forever thru my ups and downs and shitty days in hs. and i always feel so comfortable sharing things with them. we go WAYYYYY back. This needs no introduction. ;)
6) Music: I am so happy that i discovered kusc which is the only classical music station left in so Cal. the other one which i used to listen to went belly-up and turned into some horrible country music station. So i've decided to pledge kusc this year and became a member. it's only a small portion of my income but it keeps the music alive! And I'm thankful for all the local concerts we have around here. the convienience of walt disney concert hall and that LA Phil gave me the best performance of Beethoven's 7th ever!
7)Local events: thank you for keeping my days in LA lively. I truely enjoyed the festivities like Halloween and film festivals. they give me somethign to look forward to during my long, endless weeks.
8) my summer. this past year. i cherish the good memories, although at times they are sort of hard to recall. :P
9) did I leave anything out?
So, i let out a victorious scream when class ended early today. I made it to THANKSGIVING!! What can be sweeter than this? I actually made it to thanksgiving and the dinner table! So what are some of the things i am REALLY thankful for:
1) gotta be my parents, always. They keep me in school, although i keep having freak out episodes and clam that i'm going to drop out any day now after a bad exam or a bad run-in with a classmate. They always lend a ear and help me put things in perspective. I am so thankful for them.
2) my new friends this year from my class: B, S, V. without V I would definitely be a really, really unhappy person during IV. She's always so positive and hilarious and so sweet. She's a couple years younger but i've always enjoyed talking to her. She's a real sweetheart, and pretty too. God really gives her a lot of love. ;) j/k. And B and S, I am so thankful that i met them and got to know them better this year. They are some of the nicest people i can find in my class. We are all single and all like to have fun so i now finally have people to go to mixers with! ;) We've hit up a couple major events this year and managed to have super fun memories. It's great that we also love to try out new places in town, i have to say they make LA a much more fun city to live in being a single gal. I really can't express how much these people made my life easier this year in school.
3) Tamaki Hiroshi and Nodame Cantabile: If i never watched that drama i would have never been reminded of the good old days when I used to love and play music. Yes Long Vacation was a good drama too but it wasn't so much about classical music and the comeraderie spirits. I was so inspired by the drama that I decided to pick up piano again. And since then i never looked back. I was really in love with tamaki hiroshi because he was so cute in it. and knowing that he and the girl had that connection of music which brought them together in the end was so, romantic. It made me want to believe in something that real, and concentrate on what I love too. I can't expect people to like me being so negative and souless all the time. I have to do something that makes me happy and a lovable person. I have to say cousin J facilitated the process in a way too. I think one of the things that really shook me was that, when I was in a "New castle" with her, she got on that piano and started playing, the whole place filled with music in the air, one of the best moments during the trip.
4) My old buddies R, E: R has definitely been there for me every step of the way. I have changed so much since college, both inside and out. I have had periods of depression, and elevation, and just a bunch of unpredictable mood swings, but she was there along the way. We'd always meet up and discuss our lives and i always feel rejuvenated after talking to her. I am so glad that i have someone who knows the real me and that i'm really not a psycho. I just get hurt, and get angry, and get sad like everyone else. The same goes for E. She's been the nicest sweetheart along the way. She's been with me through the breakup, my sad sad single days in college. She's been my make up tutor, my fashion stylist (i dressed like crap), and career counselor. I dont know where I would be w/o her. She's so resourceful about school activities and always try to get me involved. and she's so artistic and crafty. I dont think she's my second mom at all, she's just a really, really close friend. I am so happy that i've met her. They both make my pharm school journey that much better too.
5)My old, old friends B,V: Always there to listen to me and give me advice, have known me forever thru my ups and downs and shitty days in hs. and i always feel so comfortable sharing things with them. we go WAYYYYY back. This needs no introduction. ;)
6) Music: I am so happy that i discovered kusc which is the only classical music station left in so Cal. the other one which i used to listen to went belly-up and turned into some horrible country music station. So i've decided to pledge kusc this year and became a member. it's only a small portion of my income but it keeps the music alive! And I'm thankful for all the local concerts we have around here. the convienience of walt disney concert hall and that LA Phil gave me the best performance of Beethoven's 7th ever!
7)Local events: thank you for keeping my days in LA lively. I truely enjoyed the festivities like Halloween and film festivals. they give me somethign to look forward to during my long, endless weeks.
8) my summer. this past year. i cherish the good memories, although at times they are sort of hard to recall. :P
9) did I leave anything out?
2007年11月20日 星期二
The shitty driver who almost took my life today
I just got off the phone with my parents, but i still can't believe what ALMOST happened to me today. after 4 hours of standing at work i was finally able to get out and rush to school. ON my way there, i was driving on the very left lane, speeding up because there were no cars in front of me, while all of a sudden, this shitty ganster car on the right lane swerved in front of me which forced me to swerve to the left where the central divider was! I swear i only had a split second to decide where i should hit him or the divider. my car made a huge nose as i tried to brake and gain control of the steering wheel. it made a loud screeching sound. The the asshole finally realized it and swerved back. he fucking almost took my life! it would be so unworthy to lose my leg over a piece of s**t like him who drives a HOnda that's falling a part and probably no insurance. yes i'm talking to you all shitty irresponsible LA drivers out there between 18-45 who drive either a low car or a pick up. why dont you shoot yourself before taking someone elses life after being inebriated at 10 in the morning?
This is an angry post by the way. as if you can't already tell.
This is an angry post by the way. as if you can't already tell.
2007年11月17日 星期六
Restaurant Reviews
Recently I'm finding myself liking the posh resto/bar scenes more. I'm guessing it's a combination of things: stress, finding the right crowd to hang out with, wanting to blow off steam, liking the taste of wine, liking the cosmopolitan feeling of it all, wanting to be more proactive with my love life (or lack thereof).....at least when i look back in the fu
Anyway, here are a few reviews of some places i recently visited and am liking a lot:
Red White and Bluezz:
http://www.redwhitebluezz.com/
What this is is a restaurant with live music (usually jazz). I met up with 2 friends and we decided to go for a girls' night out. got there around 7pm on a friday night and thought we could wait for a table. nope, everything was completely booked up! we were told to go to the other entrance of the restaurant where there were another dining area with the live band in there to try our luck. initially we were almost disappointed again, but the super nice manager managed to move a few tables and squeezed us in! in a completely book room, on a completely busy day, and our seats were right next to the platform! I couldn't believe our good luck. our waitress was very attentive and recommended very good things like the wine flights (a couple of wines for you to do a little wine-tasting), cheese flights (we had Gouda, Brie, and Goat cheese), saffron prawns (delicieux), some really good rib eye, duck breast, and a dessert sampler and some Rose wine. at the end of the night the bill burned a hole in my pocket but it was SO WORTH IT! Loved the music too, sometimes a little raggae, sometimes a little jazz, sometimes a little 80's, but overall a very good vibe and very interactive with the crowd. i give it 4 stars!
JiRaffe
http://www.jirafferestaurant.com/
It happened on a monday night when me and 2 other girlfriends from school decided to try out new places in town. my friend had read about some review about the restaurant's monday special. Apparently they were offering a 3 course meal for a mere $35! Usually each platter costs about that much so it's a deal to die for. The restaurant is located in Santa Monica, very nice ambience and homey. We got our seats on the upper level overlooking the restaurant. the 3 courses we had were: crab cake, grilled yellowtail over spinach and rice, and pecan pie with coffee ice cream on it and some coffeebeans dipped in molass. We ordered some wine as well to complete the experience. Overall i liked everything we had. the crabcake was filling, and the pecan pie was fresh and warm. the yellowtail was good, but it's made too much like asian style so not exactly an invention (for me anyway). I'd give it 3.5 stars. :) How i love dressing up for a night out!
The Parlor (in santa monica)
http://www.theparlorsm.com/menu.html
This is an upscale sports bar located on Wilshire Blvd in Santa Monica. We went there for a grad school association mixer, which turned out to be a totally weird experience. apparently when we arrived no one really knew about the usc event, everyone including the bouncer and the waitress thought there was some ucla thing goig on in there. We went upstairs to sit for a while and had some really lame guy come over to try to talk to us ("sorry i was late, the traffic was real bad." and we had no clue who he was). then we went downstairs to mingle and finally found ppl who knew what was going on and gave us a ticket. then as the night went on we proceeded to talk to some really weird dental students. (see my previous post for exact happenings). The bar was very nice completed with several large plasma screens showing football, as well as LOTS of seats and tables. the bartenders were nice and friendly, so were the waitresses. some people looked like they came right after work. overall, a very casual scene (which i was totally overdressed for). recommend it if you like sports bars. the quesadilla was very yummmy.
Bodega Wine Bar
http://www.bodegawinebar.com/
This is the place we hit right after The Parlor on a thursday night. there's some really nice chairs and couches for you to lounge on. we ordered a bottle of red and white, and i ddin't really like my wine choices that night. But it's $30 a bottle, and a 750ml one too (i think). we had to cork it to go. didn't stay very long but a nice place to hang out with friends to just talk. ;)
Creme de la crepe
http://www.cremedelacrepe.com/
This is in Hermosa Beach. We got there around 12 and there was a line waiting outside. the diner's quite small so there's not too many tables in there. But the food was good, prolly one of the best crepe places i've had in the US. i ordered a french toast which was actually baguette dipped in egg and pan fried, not like your normal french toast. and i shared a Crepe Ziane with my sister which was really good too. the crepe skin was thin and crispy and it was filled with fruits and a scoop of ice cream. c'estait tres incroyable. :) we then ended up walking up and down Hermosa. it was a cold day but nevertheless filled with a lot of good window shopping.
Anyway, here are a few reviews of some places i recently visited and am liking a lot:
Red White and Bluezz:
http://www.redwhitebluezz.com/
What this is is a restaurant with live music (usually jazz). I met up with 2 friends and we decided to go for a girls' night out. got there around 7pm on a friday night and thought we could wait for a table. nope, everything was completely booked up! we were told to go to the other entrance of the restaurant where there were another dining area with the live band in there to try our luck. initially we were almost disappointed again, but the super nice manager managed to move a few tables and squeezed us in! in a completely book room, on a completely busy day, and our seats were right next to the platform! I couldn't believe our good luck. our waitress was very attentive and recommended very good things like the wine flights (a couple of wines for you to do a little wine-tasting), cheese flights (we had Gouda, Brie, and Goat cheese), saffron prawns (delicieux), some really good rib eye, duck breast, and a dessert sampler and some Rose wine. at the end of the night the bill burned a hole in my pocket but it was SO WORTH IT! Loved the music too, sometimes a little raggae, sometimes a little jazz, sometimes a little 80's, but overall a very good vibe and very interactive with the crowd. i give it 4 stars!
JiRaffe
http://www.jirafferestaurant.com/
It happened on a monday night when me and 2 other girlfriends from school decided to try out new places in town. my friend had read about some review about the restaurant's monday special. Apparently they were offering a 3 course meal for a mere $35! Usually each platter costs about that much so it's a deal to die for. The restaurant is located in Santa Monica, very nice ambience and homey. We got our seats on the upper level overlooking the restaurant. the 3 courses we had were: crab cake, grilled yellowtail over spinach and rice, and pecan pie with coffee ice cream on it and some coffeebeans dipped in molass. We ordered some wine as well to complete the experience. Overall i liked everything we had. the crabcake was filling, and the pecan pie was fresh and warm. the yellowtail was good, but it's made too much like asian style so not exactly an invention (for me anyway). I'd give it 3.5 stars. :) How i love dressing up for a night out!
The Parlor (in santa monica)
http://www.theparlorsm.com/menu.html
This is an upscale sports bar located on Wilshire Blvd in Santa Monica. We went there for a grad school association mixer, which turned out to be a totally weird experience. apparently when we arrived no one really knew about the usc event, everyone including the bouncer and the waitress thought there was some ucla thing goig on in there. We went upstairs to sit for a while and had some really lame guy come over to try to talk to us ("sorry i was late, the traffic was real bad." and we had no clue who he was). then we went downstairs to mingle and finally found ppl who knew what was going on and gave us a ticket. then as the night went on we proceeded to talk to some really weird dental students. (see my previous post for exact happenings). The bar was very nice completed with several large plasma screens showing football, as well as LOTS of seats and tables. the bartenders were nice and friendly, so were the waitresses. some people looked like they came right after work. overall, a very casual scene (which i was totally overdressed for). recommend it if you like sports bars. the quesadilla was very yummmy.
Bodega Wine Bar
http://www.bodegawinebar.com/
This is the place we hit right after The Parlor on a thursday night. there's some really nice chairs and couches for you to lounge on. we ordered a bottle of red and white, and i ddin't really like my wine choices that night. But it's $30 a bottle, and a 750ml one too (i think). we had to cork it to go. didn't stay very long but a nice place to hang out with friends to just talk. ;)
Creme de la crepe
http://www.cremedelacrepe.com/
This is in Hermosa Beach. We got there around 12 and there was a line waiting outside. the diner's quite small so there's not too many tables in there. But the food was good, prolly one of the best crepe places i've had in the US. i ordered a french toast which was actually baguette dipped in egg and pan fried, not like your normal french toast. and i shared a Crepe Ziane with my sister which was really good too. the crepe skin was thin and crispy and it was filled with fruits and a scoop of ice cream. c'estait tres incroyable. :) we then ended up walking up and down Hermosa. it was a cold day but nevertheless filled with a lot of good window shopping.
2007年11月15日 星期四
friggin brainfried...
am trying to post a nice sensible post about my week in a nutshell. however am currently stuck with a crapload of material for tomorrow's final at 630am (whoever suggested this time was truely heartless and brutal). I have been unable to focus because frankly after nearly 5 weeks of sleep deprivation and continuous exams i can no longer convince myself this shit is interesting. It is when you learn one thing at a time and not 5 classes all talking about the same exact thing.
so i found this website about these people ranting about their lives as spinsters. One of the girls/women started blogging when she was 25! and now she's 27 and still writes fabulously and poignantly about singe life in america and how you're treated like 2nd class citizens. it is very entertaining, so much that i sort of got side tracked and read more posts on her blog than my own notes. I was reading about her description of being closer than ever the only single person amongst the friends she knew and it couldn't have been more true in my case. I am now in a class with women who are married or have kids or steady bf's. The rest of the eligible and not so disgusting guys were immediately snatched up by single available girls in our class making them less available. In other words, even if i want to take advantage of remaining years being a 20 something year old i am having difficulty finding people to go to mixers with. I wouldn't want to piss off my friends' significant others for sure. what is a single girl to do in a world of happy coupledoms? and my previous encounters with guys lately have turned into nothing but disasters.
It is somehow funny that while browsing through these blogs i am finding so many similarities between my life and those of the bloggers. apparently we all now enjoy going out for a drink/cocktail at a bar/lounge with our gf's or taking a trip/vacation/watching a movie with them the cosmo style. and we walk away from nasty boys who come up and grab you. whatever happened to the gentlemen in this world?
probably all married, i'm guessing.
back to my list of IV drugs and their adverse reactions.
so i found this website about these people ranting about their lives as spinsters. One of the girls/women started blogging when she was 25! and now she's 27 and still writes fabulously and poignantly about singe life in america and how you're treated like 2nd class citizens. it is very entertaining, so much that i sort of got side tracked and read more posts on her blog than my own notes. I was reading about her description of being closer than ever the only single person amongst the friends she knew and it couldn't have been more true in my case. I am now in a class with women who are married or have kids or steady bf's. The rest of the eligible and not so disgusting guys were immediately snatched up by single available girls in our class making them less available. In other words, even if i want to take advantage of remaining years being a 20 something year old i am having difficulty finding people to go to mixers with. I wouldn't want to piss off my friends' significant others for sure. what is a single girl to do in a world of happy coupledoms? and my previous encounters with guys lately have turned into nothing but disasters.
It is somehow funny that while browsing through these blogs i am finding so many similarities between my life and those of the bloggers. apparently we all now enjoy going out for a drink/cocktail at a bar/lounge with our gf's or taking a trip/vacation/watching a movie with them the cosmo style. and we walk away from nasty boys who come up and grab you. whatever happened to the gentlemen in this world?
probably all married, i'm guessing.
back to my list of IV drugs and their adverse reactions.
2007年11月10日 星期六
Recap for last night
Yesterday was truely truely like a rollercoaster ride. i opened my eyes and FREAKED OUT...it was 645am which was the time i was supposed to be in the iv room already! I took only enough time to brush my teeth and stormed out the house..called them on the way and the preceptor said ok. she was nice enough to not make me come back in and extend my iv rotation indefinitely. but still my blood pressure must have elevated 20mmHG for sure....:-/
So at the end of the day, my friends and I decided to go out to celebrate a little. We knew about this event held by the graduate student association that was held at The Parlor in Santa Monica. So we decided to stop by before hitting a wine bar in Pasadena. so we all dolled up, and when we rolled in it was a SPORTS BAR. many people were in trainers and people are just lounging back watching football on these plasma screens. this horribly weird guy came up to us first apologized for being late d/t the bad traffic. we were wondeirng who among us knew the guy and no one did. so he blabered on and wouldn't shut up with his lame lines we decided to leave the table and went elsewhere. it was very uncivil but we had to do it. for him and for us.
then to accomplish my goal of at least speaking to 3 guys i picked someone and asked what was going on..because apparently no one really knew about the USC event and that pharm school was even invited. he was nice enough and showed us the person to talk to and gave us name tags. so 3 down, i was good for the rest of the night.
Ordered some chicken quesadilla, and some more guys made small talks to us but nothing lasted. we were just having some girl time. and then these peopel sat next to us. the guys started talking to us and since i wasn't attracted to them, i had no problem carrying on the conversation. So it turned out that they were dental students. first years. really loving it. and pretty Persian. (nothing against persian really, i think the girls are hot). and this guy started inquiring about our ethnicity, because like so many other lame ass guys, they apparently think it's a good converstaion starter, even if you guessed it WRONG. Well, in those cases, it's only amusing for the inquirer and not so much for the inquiree. started commenting on my friend who's philipino, said that he was going on a date with a flip girl on saturday too, and his previous 2 gfs were both flip. (TMI: why the heck do we need to know that?) and then something about the flip aboriginal people used to wear next to nothing, must have been a pretty sight to see for the spanish settlers after 4 months on the sea. WHAT THE HELL?! so i had to correct him that i'm sure people wore some kind of clohting. even back then no one would prance around naked unless you're some pre historic homo sapiens. and he thought i was mocking him (I WAS), and tried to explained some more. so i had to reinstate my believe, if you travel on the sea for 3 or 4 months you'd see ANYONE NAKED when you get off the ship. i'm sure we really "bound" through that heated discussion over nothing intellectual. how i love debates.
he then proceeded to say we should hit up the dental parties..and ate a piece of my quesadilla (cold by then). my friends and I just decided to bounce and that was when some cute guys started to talk to us on the streets. but their friggin friend in the car made them leave so i was majorly disappointed.
The Bodega Wine Bar was a nice little thing in Paseo Colorado. I liekd how there were a plethora of chairs/sofas for us to lounge on. we tried some merlot named Calbec and this chardonnay named Verdejo. didn't like either of them that much but the service was good. left when dizziness started to kick in.
overall, a very fun and eventful night. But no ma, still haven't found the holiday bf to spend the holidays with. afraid it's going to be another lonely countdown to 2008.
So at the end of the day, my friends and I decided to go out to celebrate a little. We knew about this event held by the graduate student association that was held at The Parlor in Santa Monica. So we decided to stop by before hitting a wine bar in Pasadena. so we all dolled up, and when we rolled in it was a SPORTS BAR. many people were in trainers and people are just lounging back watching football on these plasma screens. this horribly weird guy came up to us first apologized for being late d/t the bad traffic. we were wondeirng who among us knew the guy and no one did. so he blabered on and wouldn't shut up with his lame lines we decided to leave the table and went elsewhere. it was very uncivil but we had to do it. for him and for us.
then to accomplish my goal of at least speaking to 3 guys i picked someone and asked what was going on..because apparently no one really knew about the USC event and that pharm school was even invited. he was nice enough and showed us the person to talk to and gave us name tags. so 3 down, i was good for the rest of the night.
Ordered some chicken quesadilla, and some more guys made small talks to us but nothing lasted. we were just having some girl time. and then these peopel sat next to us. the guys started talking to us and since i wasn't attracted to them, i had no problem carrying on the conversation. So it turned out that they were dental students. first years. really loving it. and pretty Persian. (nothing against persian really, i think the girls are hot). and this guy started inquiring about our ethnicity, because like so many other lame ass guys, they apparently think it's a good converstaion starter, even if you guessed it WRONG. Well, in those cases, it's only amusing for the inquirer and not so much for the inquiree. started commenting on my friend who's philipino, said that he was going on a date with a flip girl on saturday too, and his previous 2 gfs were both flip. (TMI: why the heck do we need to know that?) and then something about the flip aboriginal people used to wear next to nothing, must have been a pretty sight to see for the spanish settlers after 4 months on the sea. WHAT THE HELL?! so i had to correct him that i'm sure people wore some kind of clohting. even back then no one would prance around naked unless you're some pre historic homo sapiens. and he thought i was mocking him (I WAS), and tried to explained some more. so i had to reinstate my believe, if you travel on the sea for 3 or 4 months you'd see ANYONE NAKED when you get off the ship. i'm sure we really "bound" through that heated discussion over nothing intellectual. how i love debates.
he then proceeded to say we should hit up the dental parties..and ate a piece of my quesadilla (cold by then). my friends and I just decided to bounce and that was when some cute guys started to talk to us on the streets. but their friggin friend in the car made them leave so i was majorly disappointed.
The Bodega Wine Bar was a nice little thing in Paseo Colorado. I liekd how there were a plethora of chairs/sofas for us to lounge on. we tried some merlot named Calbec and this chardonnay named Verdejo. didn't like either of them that much but the service was good. left when dizziness started to kick in.
overall, a very fun and eventful night. But no ma, still haven't found the holiday bf to spend the holidays with. afraid it's going to be another lonely countdown to 2008.
love Gershwin plays Gershwin
I can't express how happy i am with the classical music station i pledged to support. Commercial-free, good music, all the time. makes my morning commute THAT much better and fewer road rage episodes.....
today was another pleasant surprise when i heard this:
Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue
just beautiful..and you're at your destination before you realize it. what will i do w/o music in my life?
today was another pleasant surprise when i heard this:
Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue
just beautiful..and you're at your destination before you realize it. what will i do w/o music in my life?
2007年11月5日 星期一
don't know why
don't know why but i'm really diggin this song ;)
by the way this is Local H's Bound for the Floor
by the way this is Local H's Bound for the Floor
2007年11月3日 星期六
not very good at it
a sudden feeling of incompetency.
yesterday I got a phone call from my parents about my grandma (the only grandparent i have left) had had a minor stroke. She is concious alright, but has lost sensations in the right side of her body, also she has difficulty speaking clearly. something to do with her cranial nerve, i suppose. it sort of put me in a depressed mood. i can't help but feel like my worse nightmare is coming true, slowly but persistently. I have always feared family death, ever since I started losing my first grandparent. I suppose that was the first sign of growing up, realizing that people DO and WILL die around you. And that you're getting older, and there's nothing you can do about it (the learned helplessness, as they would say in psychological terms). It makes me extremely fearful, not because of the death itself, but getting old. I'm only scared of death of family members or those who i care for, knowing that i'm HERE, and they are THERE. and there's nothing i can't do about it. I can't physically be there by dropping everything that's in my life right now...but seeing how they physically deteriorate is very heartbreaking. I can't do anything about it. I keep having the feeling that eventually one day everyone including my parents will leave, and then i'll be truely alone.
It's tempting to think that when someone you love dies, your whole life turns around, nothing is the same anymore and you'll forever mourn. But as I learned over the years you do go on with your life, that person just becomes a small part of your memory. You dont think about him/her too much on a daily basis. you're only REMINDED of them on certain occasions. So that makes me think that it would be the same for me, when i leave one day, the world goes around liek usual. people still get up in the morning and buy their 6am coffee and go to work, and i will be 'deceased' as if never existed. so what really is left of me?
Recently have been having the feeling that i'm not very good at my job, as a student, as a pharmacist, or a scientist (if i can call myself that at all). I am starting to learn more about this field and understand more about it. But i'm having difficulty retaining the memory i learned in class. I dont know if i'm not very good at it because i dont breathe this material, i dont live in it and most of the time dont take interest in it (although i AM improving). But i am not the best i can be.
and i think about it, i dont know if anyone can be with someone who is so angry and sad all the times. I hate to be made to do things, and i'm angry at people who are mean but they are all around. i'm self concious, and i have mood swings.
yesterday I got a phone call from my parents about my grandma (the only grandparent i have left) had had a minor stroke. She is concious alright, but has lost sensations in the right side of her body, also she has difficulty speaking clearly. something to do with her cranial nerve, i suppose. it sort of put me in a depressed mood. i can't help but feel like my worse nightmare is coming true, slowly but persistently. I have always feared family death, ever since I started losing my first grandparent. I suppose that was the first sign of growing up, realizing that people DO and WILL die around you. And that you're getting older, and there's nothing you can do about it (the learned helplessness, as they would say in psychological terms). It makes me extremely fearful, not because of the death itself, but getting old. I'm only scared of death of family members or those who i care for, knowing that i'm HERE, and they are THERE. and there's nothing i can't do about it. I can't physically be there by dropping everything that's in my life right now...but seeing how they physically deteriorate is very heartbreaking. I can't do anything about it. I keep having the feeling that eventually one day everyone including my parents will leave, and then i'll be truely alone.
It's tempting to think that when someone you love dies, your whole life turns around, nothing is the same anymore and you'll forever mourn. But as I learned over the years you do go on with your life, that person just becomes a small part of your memory. You dont think about him/her too much on a daily basis. you're only REMINDED of them on certain occasions. So that makes me think that it would be the same for me, when i leave one day, the world goes around liek usual. people still get up in the morning and buy their 6am coffee and go to work, and i will be 'deceased' as if never existed. so what really is left of me?
Recently have been having the feeling that i'm not very good at my job, as a student, as a pharmacist, or a scientist (if i can call myself that at all). I am starting to learn more about this field and understand more about it. But i'm having difficulty retaining the memory i learned in class. I dont know if i'm not very good at it because i dont breathe this material, i dont live in it and most of the time dont take interest in it (although i AM improving). But i am not the best i can be.
and i think about it, i dont know if anyone can be with someone who is so angry and sad all the times. I hate to be made to do things, and i'm angry at people who are mean but they are all around. i'm self concious, and i have mood swings.
2007年10月29日 星期一
tomorrow
tomorrow i'm going in for my last follow-up with my doctor regarding the abscess on my leg. it's shruken in size tremendously and i'm happy to say that it's no longer a danger to my leg...now it's just healing and challenge me to scratch it. but no i will not give in! so tomorrow is quite possibly (actually i'm 100% sure) that it will be the last time seeing the cute doc. It's embarrassing but after that incident last time I actually have been thinking quite a lot the possibility of dating one's own doctor, and therefore did some research on that. The conclusion is no matter what you do or how you defend it, it's UNETHICAL and WRONG.
According to sources, their license can be suspended for having an affair with a patient, or make comments regarding the patient's appearence, and they cannot terminate their service in anticipation of going out with the patient, and there has to be a 2 year gap before he can legally ask you out again, IF there is no chance of future professional service. So all in all, it is INCREDIBLY hard for you to date your doctor, even if you're both interested (and i doubt he shares the sentiment). And considering how if things don't work out, or i'm rejected, i will one day need to return to the Student Health again, which makes it a even less desirable choice to do so (ask him out). my friends encouraged me to just ask him out to coffee...but i KNOW that i will mostly be turned down on the basis of professional relationship.
which is interesting because, when i was younger i never even thought about things like this. To me people who provide service to me are just people and nothing more. So there can only be 2 possibilities: 1. i've been single for too long and therefore am experiencing 'spring fever'; or 2. i'm more grown up now and am just simply more aware of people of the opposite sex since we are closer in age now. I would like to think it's option number 2 because it looks like everywhere i go i'm serviced by people close to my age, therefore i no longer look at them as big brothers or old, middle aged men rather people who i might have a potential with. (another classic example, the ticket guy in Zurich). As absurd as it sounds i can't believe i actually spent a great deal of my time thinking about these run-ins and what might come out of it (while in reality, i do nothing, and he's not interested, end of story).
Back to the topic, so tomorrow is my last apointment with him. I'm pretty sure it'll be a 30 second follow up because it's basically healed almost completely and there's no need for return visits. and they are usually extremely busy. i am sort of looking at it as this anti-climatic ending to my little one week crush. I guess i can look at it from the positive side that at least it gives me something to occupy my otherwise work/school-filled, boring life. I'm just sad that it ends tomorrow and it's back to reality of 2 midterms and one final and countless days in the hospital at 630 in the morning.
on top of that, i was assigned to a presentation group with this only cute guy in class who im not friends with. He's been pretty weird and retty nice. but he belongs to a totally different world (because he's involved, and seem to be liked by everyone, and younger) while i on the other hand is bitter, sarcastic, despise people can't wait to roll out of class every afternoon, and OLDER. He's definitely been an eye candy for the past one month when we had to work together, but that's coming to an end as well. We aren't even acquaintances yet because we never have anything really to say to each other. i think we both think each other is weird, and as i've argued with K, we just didn't know what to say.
So basically, two of my harmless crushes are coming to an end possibly this or next week, and in a sick way i'm sort of looking forward to it. I think the reality is although i think i am, i'm really not ready to share my life with anther person just yt.
-------------------------
cute pickup line (i didn't come up with this):
Pt: I think I need another doctor.
Doc: Why?
Pt: because i'm attracted to you so i can't keep seeing you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?
--------------------------
another good thought regarding the whole 'date your doctor' issue:
"if you really like someone, you would not want to take away his livelihood (meaning his license). Change your doctor and stop seeing him. "
A cute vid:
According to sources, their license can be suspended for having an affair with a patient, or make comments regarding the patient's appearence, and they cannot terminate their service in anticipation of going out with the patient, and there has to be a 2 year gap before he can legally ask you out again, IF there is no chance of future professional service. So all in all, it is INCREDIBLY hard for you to date your doctor, even if you're both interested (and i doubt he shares the sentiment). And considering how if things don't work out, or i'm rejected, i will one day need to return to the Student Health again, which makes it a even less desirable choice to do so (ask him out). my friends encouraged me to just ask him out to coffee...but i KNOW that i will mostly be turned down on the basis of professional relationship.
which is interesting because, when i was younger i never even thought about things like this. To me people who provide service to me are just people and nothing more. So there can only be 2 possibilities: 1. i've been single for too long and therefore am experiencing 'spring fever'; or 2. i'm more grown up now and am just simply more aware of people of the opposite sex since we are closer in age now. I would like to think it's option number 2 because it looks like everywhere i go i'm serviced by people close to my age, therefore i no longer look at them as big brothers or old, middle aged men rather people who i might have a potential with. (another classic example, the ticket guy in Zurich). As absurd as it sounds i can't believe i actually spent a great deal of my time thinking about these run-ins and what might come out of it (while in reality, i do nothing, and he's not interested, end of story).
Back to the topic, so tomorrow is my last apointment with him. I'm pretty sure it'll be a 30 second follow up because it's basically healed almost completely and there's no need for return visits. and they are usually extremely busy. i am sort of looking at it as this anti-climatic ending to my little one week crush. I guess i can look at it from the positive side that at least it gives me something to occupy my otherwise work/school-filled, boring life. I'm just sad that it ends tomorrow and it's back to reality of 2 midterms and one final and countless days in the hospital at 630 in the morning.
on top of that, i was assigned to a presentation group with this only cute guy in class who im not friends with. He's been pretty weird and retty nice. but he belongs to a totally different world (because he's involved, and seem to be liked by everyone, and younger) while i on the other hand is bitter, sarcastic, despise people can't wait to roll out of class every afternoon, and OLDER. He's definitely been an eye candy for the past one month when we had to work together, but that's coming to an end as well. We aren't even acquaintances yet because we never have anything really to say to each other. i think we both think each other is weird, and as i've argued with K, we just didn't know what to say.
So basically, two of my harmless crushes are coming to an end possibly this or next week, and in a sick way i'm sort of looking forward to it. I think the reality is although i think i am, i'm really not ready to share my life with anther person just yt.
-------------------------
cute pickup line (i didn't come up with this):
Pt: I think I need another doctor.
Doc: Why?
Pt: because i'm attracted to you so i can't keep seeing you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?
--------------------------
another good thought regarding the whole 'date your doctor' issue:
"if you really like someone, you would not want to take away his livelihood (meaning his license). Change your doctor and stop seeing him. "
A cute vid:
2007年10月27日 星期六
things waiting to be accomplished
today is the last saturday before the official arrival of Halloween, and I seem to be the only person on early who is staying in and not dressed up to a party or an amusement park of some sort.
i suppose it makes me feel slightly better knowing that i finally have a chance to put a few things down that i want to remind myself--- things i intend to accomplish within the next couple of months, or years:
- piano lessons: i've checked out a few quality schools around the area (and there's actually a lot!) so as soon as i'm done with the stupid finals/midterms i will be signing up for sure.
- french lessons: the other day i was talking about my days in Paris with K and i realized how little i remember about everything i've learned. I can read and understand okay but all the verbe conjugations have gone out the window. that's really sad seeing how much i've spent on my french education for the past 2 years....
- explore more nightlife places in/around LA, and i dont mean only clubs: as stated before, not a huge fan of clubbing. I only go for the decor. they tend to look really posh and pretty and you pretty much can sit there with some girlfriends drink yummy cosmos. i'm sure i'll regret not meeting guys when i'm older. but for now NOT getting groped seems like a pretty good idea to me. The thing is there are so many places to explore in LA. I read about this bar where you pay $10 for a martini and a manicure! wouldnt' that be fun? well to me anyway...;)
- go on a speed dating event: no i'm not doing this because i am desperate. just because i've always been curious about it. it always looks so fun in movies (ie. the 40 year old virgin, Hitch.....you get the picture). even if people are lame (or i'm one of them) it can still be fun just meeting people.
- go on a internatioal medical team: although expensive, and i wonder if it's really worth PAYING to volunteer in third world countries, it can actually be a good experience. I have always wanted to help out, and i know my parents/friends won't liek the idea and that it is stil pretty dangerous considering the many kinds of parasites in food/water/enviornment that can intoxicate me.
- go to more concerts in town: i had the pleasure to visit walt disney concert hall a couple weeks ago for Beethoven's Symphonie No.7. And it turned out to be a wonderful experience. which makes me wonder why i did not do it more often.
- tell those people who bother me to go to hell: i'm already as busy and stressed out as i ever can be in my life. I've certainly pushed myself more than i have my whole entire life since i started school (never thought it was possible to pull a 12-14 hr day AND study after i came home and managed to wake up again at 530am. but that's what i've been doing).
- NOT be bothered by the fact that i may be the last single person among my friends/family of equal age. Yes it's true my guardian (who likes to show off)'s 2nd daughter who is a nurse anesthesiologist is getting married to a lawyer. and that the majority of my friends or people i know are either dating, engaged, married, or gave birth. And i'm constantly gettign questions like why i haven't met anyway seeing i go to the same school/campus as the rest of the health professions (ie. doctors, physical therapists...) it always sounds so sad when i try to defend myself, because it has worked out for most people by being in close proximity to MD's. I have had to keep telling myself, "i'm not hideous, i'm not hideous, i'm not hideous.." or when truely heinous couples make out i think "that is true love." It doesn't change teh fact that i am still looked at as the pitiful one. so NO I CAN'T BE BOTHERED!
- work out everyother day or more: i've let myself go for a while and now i'm really feeling disgusting. i need to get back to my workout regimen like in college and be active again. just because i'm not seeing anyone doesn't mean i can look like a lard. there are dresses i would like to fit in, one day.
- is there more?
i suppose it makes me feel slightly better knowing that i finally have a chance to put a few things down that i want to remind myself--- things i intend to accomplish within the next couple of months, or years:
- piano lessons: i've checked out a few quality schools around the area (and there's actually a lot!) so as soon as i'm done with the stupid finals/midterms i will be signing up for sure.
- french lessons: the other day i was talking about my days in Paris with K and i realized how little i remember about everything i've learned. I can read and understand okay but all the verbe conjugations have gone out the window. that's really sad seeing how much i've spent on my french education for the past 2 years....
- explore more nightlife places in/around LA, and i dont mean only clubs: as stated before, not a huge fan of clubbing. I only go for the decor. they tend to look really posh and pretty and you pretty much can sit there with some girlfriends drink yummy cosmos. i'm sure i'll regret not meeting guys when i'm older. but for now NOT getting groped seems like a pretty good idea to me. The thing is there are so many places to explore in LA. I read about this bar where you pay $10 for a martini and a manicure! wouldnt' that be fun? well to me anyway...;)
- go on a speed dating event: no i'm not doing this because i am desperate. just because i've always been curious about it. it always looks so fun in movies (ie. the 40 year old virgin, Hitch.....you get the picture). even if people are lame (or i'm one of them) it can still be fun just meeting people.
- go on a internatioal medical team: although expensive, and i wonder if it's really worth PAYING to volunteer in third world countries, it can actually be a good experience. I have always wanted to help out, and i know my parents/friends won't liek the idea and that it is stil pretty dangerous considering the many kinds of parasites in food/water/enviornment that can intoxicate me.
- go to more concerts in town: i had the pleasure to visit walt disney concert hall a couple weeks ago for Beethoven's Symphonie No.7. And it turned out to be a wonderful experience. which makes me wonder why i did not do it more often.
- tell those people who bother me to go to hell: i'm already as busy and stressed out as i ever can be in my life. I've certainly pushed myself more than i have my whole entire life since i started school (never thought it was possible to pull a 12-14 hr day AND study after i came home and managed to wake up again at 530am. but that's what i've been doing).
- NOT be bothered by the fact that i may be the last single person among my friends/family of equal age. Yes it's true my guardian (who likes to show off)'s 2nd daughter who is a nurse anesthesiologist is getting married to a lawyer. and that the majority of my friends or people i know are either dating, engaged, married, or gave birth. And i'm constantly gettign questions like why i haven't met anyway seeing i go to the same school/campus as the rest of the health professions (ie. doctors, physical therapists...) it always sounds so sad when i try to defend myself, because it has worked out for most people by being in close proximity to MD's. I have had to keep telling myself, "i'm not hideous, i'm not hideous, i'm not hideous.." or when truely heinous couples make out i think "that is true love." It doesn't change teh fact that i am still looked at as the pitiful one. so NO I CAN'T BE BOTHERED!
- work out everyother day or more: i've let myself go for a while and now i'm really feeling disgusting. i need to get back to my workout regimen like in college and be active again. just because i'm not seeing anyone doesn't mean i can look like a lard. there are dresses i would like to fit in, one day.
- is there more?
2007年10月22日 星期一
the bump on my leg and some more
it all began last week on monday when i suddenly felt this bug bite on my leg. AT first i didnt' pay much attention to it cuz it just felt like mosquito bite. however after i took a shower at night it started to hurt a lot. and by the next day it's developed into this gigantic monster of a bump on my leg which looked really scary. However due to my 12-hr days almost every day i really couldn't find time to see the doc right away. so one day passed i didn't do anything and by wedesday it's even bigger and more painful than ever. It was so debilitatin that when i get out of my bed/chair i would feel this sharp pain in the bump. I had to make an appointment with the doctor despite my crazy schedule.
So the only doctor available then was this male doctor...unfortunately. I'm not one who cares about the gender of the doctor i see unless it's something embarrassing or ob/gyn. But this bump happens to locate sort of high on my thigh which means i have to take off my pants to show them..so i was a bit more concerned. But the doctor was nice. he told me graduated from ucsd med a couple years back and seemed genuiinely concerned about my situation. he drew a line and measured the dimension of my bump and it was 7cm by 7cm then. gave me a shot and put me on antibiotics and told me to come back friday.
So friday i went back. the bump got worse due to my extended time of standing throughout the week (poor me). And he measured it again it was 10 by 11....seriously the whole thing looked like it was going to eat up my thigh. it looked like it could have spreaded around my whole thigh if it wanted. but according to him it was less red and inflammed. so i was scheduled to come back again. however this time he passed me on to another doctor because he wouldn't be there on monday. he brought another male doctor in before i could put my pants back on. Although i did wear a gown i still felt pretty exposed having two men around my age examing my thigh and did i mentin the swelling is pretty high up??? :P :P embarrassing. The sad part is that the 2nd doctor is actually really good looking so it made me feel even more self-concious abou it.
So today i returned for the follow-up by the hot doc. he couldn't find the gown at first and gave me something that looked more like a large piece of tissue. i didnt' want to be a pain so although i could tell it wasn't a gown i tried to use it to cover up my legs as much as i could. so when he returned to the room i told him about the "gown' he had given me wasn't actually a gown. All of a sudden he became really flustered (prolly because i seemed like i was sitting there butt naked with a piece of tissue on my lap) and pulled the curtain shut again and started looking frantically for the gown and even knocked over the trash can. :-/ finally when we got out of hte embarrassing situation he diagnosed me and said it was getting much better (whew). and he was so nice that he put on a band-aid for me (haha). i told him i was so worried that they would have to cut the abscess open and he said 'yeah me too". :? he told me to come back for a follow up but he had forgotten about his schedule and said some cuss words and apologized for it.
so anyway.... i wonder if it was all in my imagination that the good looking doctor was flustered and nervous around me. but i dont want to flatter myself. He's wayyy too good looking and smart and nice to be like that. so i thought it must be all in my head.
So the only doctor available then was this male doctor...unfortunately. I'm not one who cares about the gender of the doctor i see unless it's something embarrassing or ob/gyn. But this bump happens to locate sort of high on my thigh which means i have to take off my pants to show them..so i was a bit more concerned. But the doctor was nice. he told me graduated from ucsd med a couple years back and seemed genuiinely concerned about my situation. he drew a line and measured the dimension of my bump and it was 7cm by 7cm then. gave me a shot and put me on antibiotics and told me to come back friday.
So friday i went back. the bump got worse due to my extended time of standing throughout the week (poor me). And he measured it again it was 10 by 11....seriously the whole thing looked like it was going to eat up my thigh. it looked like it could have spreaded around my whole thigh if it wanted. but according to him it was less red and inflammed. so i was scheduled to come back again. however this time he passed me on to another doctor because he wouldn't be there on monday. he brought another male doctor in before i could put my pants back on. Although i did wear a gown i still felt pretty exposed having two men around my age examing my thigh and did i mentin the swelling is pretty high up??? :P :P embarrassing. The sad part is that the 2nd doctor is actually really good looking so it made me feel even more self-concious abou it.
So today i returned for the follow-up by the hot doc. he couldn't find the gown at first and gave me something that looked more like a large piece of tissue. i didnt' want to be a pain so although i could tell it wasn't a gown i tried to use it to cover up my legs as much as i could. so when he returned to the room i told him about the "gown' he had given me wasn't actually a gown. All of a sudden he became really flustered (prolly because i seemed like i was sitting there butt naked with a piece of tissue on my lap) and pulled the curtain shut again and started looking frantically for the gown and even knocked over the trash can. :-/ finally when we got out of hte embarrassing situation he diagnosed me and said it was getting much better (whew). and he was so nice that he put on a band-aid for me (haha). i told him i was so worried that they would have to cut the abscess open and he said 'yeah me too". :? he told me to come back for a follow up but he had forgotten about his schedule and said some cuss words and apologized for it.
so anyway.... i wonder if it was all in my imagination that the good looking doctor was flustered and nervous around me. but i dont want to flatter myself. He's wayyy too good looking and smart and nice to be like that. so i thought it must be all in my head.
2007年10月14日 星期日
2nd try
ok that was Gaspard Ulliel, who you see in Hannibal Hector and A Very Long Engagement as well as Paris Je t'aime.
and here are some movies i wish i can see right now. maybe if i finish studying tonight i'll run out and rent these:
Chansons d'amour
Dans Paris
heheeh i will post my reviews once i get a chance to watch them! I hate it that it's so difficult to see european movies in the States! the closest independent theater from my house doesn't have that many selections and i'm always busy during the annual french film festival. :(
and here are some movies i wish i can see right now. maybe if i finish studying tonight i'll run out and rent these:
Chansons d'amour
Dans Paris
heheeh i will post my reviews once i get a chance to watch them! I hate it that it's so difficult to see european movies in the States! the closest independent theater from my house doesn't have that many selections and i'm always busy during the annual french film festival. :(
2007年10月13日 星期六
an interesting night and some thoughts
yesterday, was truely very special.
In general, i don't like clubbing (this has already been established). I don't like to dress up feeling like i have to impress someone tonight. I don't have the need to be 'hot'. I just need to be pleasant to look at for myself. So i only go clubbing once in a blue moon, and usually i stick with girlfriends because there have been unpleasant experiences with grabby guys. And the thing is, i dont ever get drunk, so i don't really know what it feels like to 'loosen up', and i dont know if i really want to, frankly, if there are nasty guys around. But recently I've been doing it more. I think within the past 6 mon i've gone more than i have my entire college years.
So why have I been doing it more? well, first of all , they can be fun with girlfriends, just blowing off steam and having a good time. and secondly, peer pressure. But recently a third factor has been added. I have recognized that if i EVER want to end up with someone, i have to get out more. So occasionally i push myself to go. just to check out the scene, feel the water, so i'm not forever out of touch with the rest of the dating world. (although i already am).
Yesterday was the "Roofless Party" thrown by the School of Medicine here at SC. but they also invited other schools like pharm, law, business, dental, and such. So it was a pretty big thing...and i decided to push myself one last time this semester..and went with a couple gf's who were also curious to check it out. They were super nice and fun girls, so i had no problem going with them. We met up at one of their apts, had a couple glasses of champagn and left for the party, when it started raining.
We got to the party okay, it really was a huge event, it was hard just to walk pass people and get drinks. I really thought i spent most of the time waiting to get drinks, and standing in line for the bathroom. The place is called Republic, has a really nice decor, good drinks, and good services. we saw some friends in there and had fun chatting and just hanging out. However since im usually not that outgoing with strangers esp guys, i didn't start talking to random guys and frankly, i think the guys should do the job (i'm old fashioned). So one of my gf's is already light-headed after 1/5 of a drink, and she kept on a drinking. before we knew it, we were dancing and she went off with some guy. i was trying to dance with the other girl when this guy out of no where tried to dance with me from behind...REPULSIVE! that's why i dont enjoy dancing. and i hate it when people grab my waist because i tend of have more meat there and it's just pretty offensive in general. but my gfs all started dancing with other people and i didnt' want to be such a bore, so i was dancing with that guy for a little bit. (even writing this i'm kinda sick to my stomach). he was pulling me really close and i really didn't want to look at his face because it's AWKWARD. finally i had to becuse he started facing me. he's not horrible looking but i just wasn't attracted (or to sleazy guy in the club in that matter). we started talking and he said he was here with a friend who goes to b-school (SO NOT EVEN A MED STUDENT I WAS DANCING WITH! UGH) he was nice about it when i admitted i wasn't good at dancing and he started twirling me like ball room dancing. it was funny and kinda nice. in the end i was finally able to make up excuse and leave...but that was 3 or 4 songs later (just felt like a lifetime).
in the meantime, i kept mouthing for my gf to come help me, pull me away, so i wouldn't have to put up with this unpleasantness. and then the unfortunate thing was that people who i was acquaintances with spotted me and though i was all freaking with this guy...even people from my class! GOSH! i must be sending off the wrong msgs....:( i was told later by my friends that someone from our class was around us the whole time and staring at us!!! (great). at one point when i turned around my friend was already making out with this other guy...and i was trying to turn AWAY from the dude i was dancing with so he could only get my hair but ewwww ...my hair. :( .....i'm still sad typing this.
finally we left the bar..it was pouring outside. and we were having trouble finding our car...aside from being drenched in the rain...and shoes wet from the stream running down the street, when some bum grabbed my butt!!! i turned around and he started running away...me and my friend freaked out and started the opposite direction. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! why are all the freaks coming at me all the time! i was really really mad for the rest of the evening because of that. and when we finally found our cars, there were these 3 guys, one of them mix japanese and white, stopping us and asking us our ethnicities, but we just left.
so in conclusion, i'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. I keep telling myself that i need to just have faith. but faith itself isnt' enough. i wanted to physically break out of my shell and meet people. And during the night it was one bad thing after another. it was still fun with the girls...but anyhthing dealing with guy +club just turned into disaster. i dont know how i can keep having faith when i'm so frustrated everytime i came home. i dont actually crave going out. the only opposite sex i want to dance with at a club is my BF and not some strange dude who doesn't respect women. and now my reputation.... *sigh*.
he won't just fall into my lap.
In general, i don't like clubbing (this has already been established). I don't like to dress up feeling like i have to impress someone tonight. I don't have the need to be 'hot'. I just need to be pleasant to look at for myself. So i only go clubbing once in a blue moon, and usually i stick with girlfriends because there have been unpleasant experiences with grabby guys. And the thing is, i dont ever get drunk, so i don't really know what it feels like to 'loosen up', and i dont know if i really want to, frankly, if there are nasty guys around. But recently I've been doing it more. I think within the past 6 mon i've gone more than i have my entire college years.
So why have I been doing it more? well, first of all , they can be fun with girlfriends, just blowing off steam and having a good time. and secondly, peer pressure. But recently a third factor has been added. I have recognized that if i EVER want to end up with someone, i have to get out more. So occasionally i push myself to go. just to check out the scene, feel the water, so i'm not forever out of touch with the rest of the dating world. (although i already am).
Yesterday was the "Roofless Party" thrown by the School of Medicine here at SC. but they also invited other schools like pharm, law, business, dental, and such. So it was a pretty big thing...and i decided to push myself one last time this semester..and went with a couple gf's who were also curious to check it out. They were super nice and fun girls, so i had no problem going with them. We met up at one of their apts, had a couple glasses of champagn and left for the party, when it started raining.
We got to the party okay, it really was a huge event, it was hard just to walk pass people and get drinks. I really thought i spent most of the time waiting to get drinks, and standing in line for the bathroom. The place is called Republic, has a really nice decor, good drinks, and good services. we saw some friends in there and had fun chatting and just hanging out. However since im usually not that outgoing with strangers esp guys, i didn't start talking to random guys and frankly, i think the guys should do the job (i'm old fashioned). So one of my gf's is already light-headed after 1/5 of a drink, and she kept on a drinking. before we knew it, we were dancing and she went off with some guy. i was trying to dance with the other girl when this guy out of no where tried to dance with me from behind...REPULSIVE! that's why i dont enjoy dancing. and i hate it when people grab my waist because i tend of have more meat there and it's just pretty offensive in general. but my gfs all started dancing with other people and i didnt' want to be such a bore, so i was dancing with that guy for a little bit. (even writing this i'm kinda sick to my stomach). he was pulling me really close and i really didn't want to look at his face because it's AWKWARD. finally i had to becuse he started facing me. he's not horrible looking but i just wasn't attracted (or to sleazy guy in the club in that matter). we started talking and he said he was here with a friend who goes to b-school (SO NOT EVEN A MED STUDENT I WAS DANCING WITH! UGH) he was nice about it when i admitted i wasn't good at dancing and he started twirling me like ball room dancing. it was funny and kinda nice. in the end i was finally able to make up excuse and leave...but that was 3 or 4 songs later (just felt like a lifetime).
in the meantime, i kept mouthing for my gf to come help me, pull me away, so i wouldn't have to put up with this unpleasantness. and then the unfortunate thing was that people who i was acquaintances with spotted me and though i was all freaking with this guy...even people from my class! GOSH! i must be sending off the wrong msgs....:( i was told later by my friends that someone from our class was around us the whole time and staring at us!!! (great). at one point when i turned around my friend was already making out with this other guy...and i was trying to turn AWAY from the dude i was dancing with so he could only get my hair but ewwww ...my hair. :( .....i'm still sad typing this.
finally we left the bar..it was pouring outside. and we were having trouble finding our car...aside from being drenched in the rain...and shoes wet from the stream running down the street, when some bum grabbed my butt!!! i turned around and he started running away...me and my friend freaked out and started the opposite direction. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! why are all the freaks coming at me all the time! i was really really mad for the rest of the evening because of that. and when we finally found our cars, there were these 3 guys, one of them mix japanese and white, stopping us and asking us our ethnicities, but we just left.
so in conclusion, i'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. I keep telling myself that i need to just have faith. but faith itself isnt' enough. i wanted to physically break out of my shell and meet people. And during the night it was one bad thing after another. it was still fun with the girls...but anyhthing dealing with guy +club just turned into disaster. i dont know how i can keep having faith when i'm so frustrated everytime i came home. i dont actually crave going out. the only opposite sex i want to dance with at a club is my BF and not some strange dude who doesn't respect women. and now my reputation.... *sigh*.
he won't just fall into my lap.
2007年10月3日 星期三
不敢相信的好運氣 (又: 玉木宏之目擊)
該從那裡開始呢 應該是八月賭城的的回途吧 因為工作的關係 必須到賭城後的第二天自己從賭城搭特快巴士回LA 好在家裡帶去的中文報那天有在報導玉木宏的消息 就把那張帶著來安慰自己的不幸 報導中寫說玉木宏會在十月來美為他演的midnight eagle 首映開場 我還和豆說我會比她先看到玉木宏本人 開玩笑而已啦! 過了幾個禮拜我在網上搜尋的時候 得知是在十月二日 地點未定 而且是只開放給日本的特殊邀請的觀眾 就死了這條心了
上個禮拜五 讀書到一半時 沒事又上網逛了逛 結果居然被我找到一個網站在給讀者票的 只要rsvp就可以 我想說不仿一試 結果一直到禮拜一下午都沒回音 覺得大概是假的吧
結果它们回了我email說我在guestlist上了 地點是hollywood Egyptian Theater 離我家有一段距離 而且我隔天六點半就要到醫院工作 還有一個期中考 但是想想我一輩子再也不會有機會和玉木宏這麼接近 就算我飛到日本也一樣 咬著牙就決定去了結果禮拜二在漫長的課後 開回家換了衣服就衝到好萊烏 和被我抓去的朋友吃了個點心後就開始排隊 等著領票
一場子的人都是日本媒體或影迷 還有巴士載日本人來 全場大概也只有我们是非日本妹的玉木迷 到的check in table時 我们居然是在vip guestlist上!!!有人過來帶我们走紅地毯 和到特殊的區域吧台 結果我们就開始大吃大喝o'd'oeuvres 跟白酒
等了差不多一個鐘頭 Hero 美國影集中的日本演員出現了 本人超好的 居然就在我面前 之後別的演員也陸續來到 竹內結子 本人超美超可愛超優雅 我看過她的日劇可本人就是不一樣 之後.........玉木宏出現了 穿著西裝配七分褲 整個人跟日劇一樣帥 而且很高 人也很好 大家都在尖叫 我也衝出去想跟他握手 結果他握阿握的就被帶走了 重點是........我有摸到他手的邊邊 手超軟的!!!!!!!!!!!>___<
我不死心的看了一會才終於進場 選了前面的走道位 結果他進場介紹片子時從我身旁走過 之後我就一直偷偷盯著他看 整個人超帥 超千秋的!!! <3 <3 最後因為我和我朋友今天都有工作和需要早起 在電影開始後就偷偷離開 還看到演員们在外面接受訪問 玉木宏在等時還跟我眼對眼很多次 一定是在想那來的非日籍瘋狂影迷 可我一和他眼對眼就看開假裝沒事 真的是會不好意思 人家從來沒追過星啦啦啦啦 還是外國的 超緊張的 -__-.....
總之 雖然回到家睡了幾小時就又爬起來去考試了 還是覺得超值得 這應該是我二十幾年來最好運的一次 好在我有去 不然真的會遺憾終生 想想整件事真的很好運 那張報紙 那個網站 差一點 昨天的事就不會發生 真的真的讓我覺得很幸福! 希望我人生中有更多的good sign!!! (包括慕尼黑結婚的預告 ;) )
p.s. 明天再po我偷拍的照片 都不能拿出來正大光明的拍超氣！ 拍不太到玉木宏 哭哭......
2007年9月25日 星期二
＊gasp＊
How could they? I opened my mailbox today and I got a refund notice from Amazon...the seller no longer has the Nodame CD available!!! ><...And they tell me this now? I've been checking my front porch everyday since i ordered it. So now i have to find another seller to buy it from, but i really would rather not purchase it from Japan because 1)expensive and 2)takes too long might get lost.
Aside from that, continuing yesterday's list of things to do:
- Attending a concert. After watching the drama and realizing how fun it used to be when i used to go to the National Concert Hall in tw with my parents, I decided to look up classical concerts in/around LA. I found out that CalPhil actually is going to play Beethoven's Symphonie #7 at Walt Disney Concert Hall:
http://wdch.laphil.com
So I asked a couple friends and surprisingly they all wanted to go! i bought the cheapest tickets over the phone. According to the lady these are bench seats (with cushion and no armrest) in the orchestra view section. So that' realy a good deal for only $15 a piece! (as opposed to having to sit on the terrace facing either left/right of the conductor/orchestra). I'm excited that I'm actually going to see the conductor's face and not his butt for once. :P Although i'd much rather hear a Rachmaninoff piece but this isn't such a bad alternative either.
As for those of you who live in TW the guy who played Chiaki's maestro Viera is actually going to tw to perform Rachmaninoff's Concerto #2 on 12/3!!! I envy you guys! ><
- something i FINALLY got to do today: stopping by sephora. I 've been wanting to get Bare Mineral out of recommendation from my cousin B. She said this stuff is better for your skin and it makes you break out less. I got the little trial kit and let's cross our fingers that it works and doesn't look like a mask on me. *__<
Aside from that, continuing yesterday's list of things to do:
- Attending a concert. After watching the drama and realizing how fun it used to be when i used to go to the National Concert Hall in tw with my parents, I decided to look up classical concerts in/around LA. I found out that CalPhil actually is going to play Beethoven's Symphonie #7 at Walt Disney Concert Hall:
http://wdch.laphil.com
So I asked a couple friends and surprisingly they all wanted to go! i bought the cheapest tickets over the phone. According to the lady these are bench seats (with cushion and no armrest) in the orchestra view section. So that' realy a good deal for only $15 a piece! (as opposed to having to sit on the terrace facing either left/right of the conductor/orchestra). I'm excited that I'm actually going to see the conductor's face and not his butt for once. :P Although i'd much rather hear a Rachmaninoff piece but this isn't such a bad alternative either.
As for those of you who live in TW the guy who played Chiaki's maestro Viera is actually going to tw to perform Rachmaninoff's Concerto #2 on 12/3!!! I envy you guys! ><
- something i FINALLY got to do today: stopping by sephora. I 've been wanting to get Bare Mineral out of recommendation from my cousin B. She said this stuff is better for your skin and it makes you break out less. I got the little trial kit and let's cross our fingers that it works and doesn't look like a mask on me. *__<
2007年9月23日 星期日
Home Sick and some thoughts
it's been 2 weeks since my family left for TW....and it didn't suck as much as before...although i am sort of here alone for about a month. But because i put off all the studying until they were gone i was able to focus on school and work and not think about that. School is busy, as usual, but at least i'm likeing the afternoon schedule better. I have class from 1-5p and then i go home to eat or whatever. And i can actually have a decent breakfast in the morning and make lunch before i leave. I am liking this lifestyle a lot...for sure. Although some days are crazier because i have work or organization meetings to go to before/after class, in general thing havent been as horrible as i had imagined. And i'm really bothered by the jacka**es in my class less now, simply by not caring. I now only focus on people i know and talk to on a daily basis, and if the rest of them are going to act like they are free to act however they want and i'm just not gonna give a rat's ass about it.
However, on a lighter note, i did make some plans for myself this semester that have improved my life a great deal. Well, first of all i realized that school is the only thing in my book right now. and since i already CAME BACK to school there's no reason to wonder about the what if's. Leaving is just not an option so that gets rid of a lot of my sleepless nights.
I've also decided to take up Piano lessons again. Not immediately because i have a externship obligation at school for 5 horrible weeks. I dont know with that and 4 midterms plus a final I'll be able to get any practice down at all. But i HAVE been practicing on my own a few of Schumann's Sonatas, Beethoven's Pathetique, and Chopin's Etudes. I'm starting to feel that by playing some everyday I have better control of my fingers. And I listen to the songs over and over again to note places where i should play differently, that helped too in terms of techniques. I have ordered the Nodame Cantabile collections CD which should come in the mail in a couple days.....>___<
heeh anyway that's it for now. need to get back to studying asap. But i do miss home. it's still 3 months until i can go back. :(
However, on a lighter note, i did make some plans for myself this semester that have improved my life a great deal. Well, first of all i realized that school is the only thing in my book right now. and since i already CAME BACK to school there's no reason to wonder about the what if's. Leaving is just not an option so that gets rid of a lot of my sleepless nights.
I've also decided to take up Piano lessons again. Not immediately because i have a externship obligation at school for 5 horrible weeks. I dont know with that and 4 midterms plus a final I'll be able to get any practice down at all. But i HAVE been practicing on my own a few of Schumann's Sonatas, Beethoven's Pathetique, and Chopin's Etudes. I'm starting to feel that by playing some everyday I have better control of my fingers. And I listen to the songs over and over again to note places where i should play differently, that helped too in terms of techniques. I have ordered the Nodame Cantabile collections CD which should come in the mail in a couple days.....>___<
heeh anyway that's it for now. need to get back to studying asap. But i do miss home. it's still 3 months until i can go back. :(
2007年8月31日 星期五
Lots of things...
今天一大早就到學校幫忙賣t-shirt 結果剛好學校禮的日本交換學生都在大廳裡等著去醫院實習 我記得去年就有看過他們 結果今年有好多可愛的女生喔 日本女生的頭髮都好可愛又整齊 男生有幾個超帥的像混血兒 不是瘦乾乾的那種 像我们買t-shirt時英文也不賴 真的是讓我超緊張的(緊張什麼勁阿真是) 有點像竹野內豐那種 希望我多學一點日文 聽說我们學校的rotation可以到日本 那個時候就可以派上用場了 :) 注意到一件事情 就是他們的藥劑師袍好長喔 有點像醫生那種
晚上上玩課趕到Dave and Busters 去參加活動 只能感嘆好在我已不是新鮮人 現在已是老蔥一根 必須為社交而社交 不過社團的人其實很好所以還算玩得滿愉快的:)..
晚上上玩課趕到Dave and Busters 去參加活動 只能感嘆好在我已不是新鮮人 現在已是老蔥一根 必須為社交而社交 不過社團的人其實很好所以還算玩得滿愉快的:)..
2007年8月27日 星期一
mood fluctuation
So I just paid for the tuition today, and realized that I didn't buy tuition insurance this time. Does that mean I'm committing to this thing for sure? I hate it when I fall back to the depressed, self-guessing self. This THING should have been decided a long time ago. I dont know why i keep flip-flopping the whole time. Sometimes I think life is good the way it is, or that I should be content with the way it is, sometimes I just want to drop everything and run away. Is this normal or is it just my hormones talking? I just dont know what will keep me in school/work anymore. At this point i feel that I super need someone to be waiting at home for me when I come back. I feel that I super need my parents to be around, and that I super need to find the thing I want to do for the rest of my life and jsut shut up about it. Why am I feeling this way when everything is in place and yet it feels like i'm falling apart? Do I need to be on some kind of meds or somethign? I just can't describe the feelings I have. One minute I feel that 3 years is a pretty short time and one minute I can't sit in class another minute longer! It's interfering with my study and i feel that my mind is going to blow up. Today actually wasn't as bad as i had imagined. I was sitting with people who i met last year who are very cool. We chatted a lot and school actually seemed fun. I just don't know anymore.
2007年8月26日 星期日
五月天的一天
今天(其實是昨天)因為有一個迷五月天的朋友的關係 陪她一起去五月天在LA的簽名會 之前在台灣時 其實一次都沒去過 因為覺得年紀也過了 而且西門丁熱得要死 懶得去人擠人 沒想到這次竟然有機會和他們面對面 還是在希爾頓飯店 沒什麼人還有冷氣房的椅子可坐 結果到他們入場時我居然變得超興奮的 整個人超害羞 尤其快到我的十時候 手都變成冰塊 超糗的
五月天本人比電視上更好看 也更親切的樣子 阿信跟怪獸也超可愛的 怪不得有那麼多人迷他們 而且因為人不多 他們都會握你的手和你說話 害我更緊張:P 不過我必須講 經過這次的經驗我變得更迷他們了:) <3<3
晚上和學校的朋友一起去吃日本料理 久未見大家 其實也滿想念的 我的這些朋友人真的很好 我暑假就這樣了無音訊其實滿對不起他們的 我真的應該要好好重新檢視我的態度 需要的就要念完 珍惜身邊的朋友和事物才是.
五月天本人比電視上更好看 也更親切的樣子 阿信跟怪獸也超可愛的 怪不得有那麼多人迷他們 而且因為人不多 他們都會握你的手和你說話 害我更緊張:P 不過我必須講 經過這次的經驗我變得更迷他們了:) <3<3
晚上和學校的朋友一起去吃日本料理 久未見大家 其實也滿想念的 我的這些朋友人真的很好 我暑假就這樣了無音訊其實滿對不起他們的 我真的應該要好好重新檢視我的態度 需要的就要念完 珍惜身邊的朋友和事物才是.
2007年8月24日 星期五
快樂的事情
終於過了好久的第一篇 談談一些快樂的事好了...
從台灣回來後一直都很想update網站 可是想到學校和工作不免有些心情低落不知該從何下筆 但之前在建立這個blog時告訴過自己要往正面思考 這幾天雖然的確有些不愉快的事發生 可是若從別的角度來看又沒有那麼糟的樣子 以後我一定要盡量每天寫一件快樂的事來提醒自己 至於這幾天的快樂事 包括了:
台灣同學來訪: 大逛了oulet和去環球影城大玩 鬼屋和侏羅紀公園好恐怖喔 Fear FActor也不錯看
賭城兩天一日遊: 去飯店游泳池游泳和晒腿 第一次搭賭城特快回洛杉磯 還滿奇特的遭遇
工作:越來越熟練 也比較會和顧客们應對進退
學校: 雖然還是不太期待 至少和朋友们出去時滿好玩的
和b&v 見面: 久未見的高中朋友 一起去吃許留山 好好吃喔
爸生日做大餐:菜單裡有 香蕉蜂蜜優格 美味大蒜香菜三明治 蘋果馬格利塔(margarita) 洋蔥湯
狂練鋼琴: 交響裡的歌練了一些 終級目標是德布希的快樂島和蕭邦的練習曲
找到很多古典的CD: 很多長假的歌和交響有重複喔 幾乎都是蕭邦 德布希 和舒曼的
發現有slingbox這個東西: 可以讓我看緯來日本喔喔喔喔
從台灣回來後一直都很想update網站 可是想到學校和工作不免有些心情低落不知該從何下筆 但之前在建立這個blog時告訴過自己要往正面思考 這幾天雖然的確有些不愉快的事發生 可是若從別的角度來看又沒有那麼糟的樣子 以後我一定要盡量每天寫一件快樂的事來提醒自己 至於這幾天的快樂事 包括了:
台灣同學來訪: 大逛了oulet和去環球影城大玩 鬼屋和侏羅紀公園好恐怖喔 Fear FActor也不錯看
賭城兩天一日遊: 去飯店游泳池游泳和晒腿 第一次搭賭城特快回洛杉磯 還滿奇特的遭遇
工作:越來越熟練 也比較會和顧客们應對進退
學校: 雖然還是不太期待 至少和朋友们出去時滿好玩的
和b&v 見面: 久未見的高中朋友 一起去吃許留山 好好吃喔
爸生日做大餐:菜單裡有 香蕉蜂蜜優格 美味大蒜香菜三明治 蘋果馬格利塔(margarita) 洋蔥湯
狂練鋼琴: 交響裡的歌練了一些 終級目標是德布希的快樂島和蕭邦的練習曲
找到很多古典的CD: 很多長假的歌和交響有重複喔 幾乎都是蕭邦 德布希 和舒曼的
發現有slingbox這個東西: 可以讓我看緯來日本喔喔喔喔
2007年7月22日 星期日
同學會summer 2007
今年的同學會在十一人熱情出席下圓滿的落幕了 玩了一整天回到家都腿軟 在創下紀錄的高溫下我們先去了義大利餐 玩了一整天回到家都腿軟 在創下紀錄的高溫下我們先去了義大利餐廳古拉爵吃中飯 二十幾道真的都很美味道地ㄝ 價錢也公道 離家裡五分鐘的地方就有分店 真的一定要再回去捧 價錢也公道 離家裡五分鐘的地方就有分店 真的一定要在回去捧場一下
大家吃吃喝喝聊聊 時間一下就過了 真的是每半年見一次面 話都說不完 吃後要續攤 跑去誠品吹了一下冷氣 就去吃鴉片粉圓 真的是還不錯吃 可是我還是對家附近的豆漿家豆花情有獨鍾
吃完去好樂迪唱了兩小時的歌 又是在ktv理大吃大喝的 低銷還真的是滿貴的ㄝ 部過我挑戰了幾手沒唱過的歌 背叛 和mr. Q偷很好唱喔 反映不錯
唱完又和伊些同學會面 去了台北車站的 古典玫瑰園 點了一壺好喝的水果茶 之後他們還要通霄續攤 只可惜我家管嚴無法相伴
在台灣的一群好朋友我愛你們 <3 <3 每次回去都超捨不得的:*( 真的希望能永遠維持友誼下去 大家都不要變喔!!;)
謝謝你們每次載我回家 超溫馨:D!!
大家吃吃喝喝聊聊 時間一下就過了 真的是每半年見一次面 話都說不完 吃後要續攤 跑去誠品吹了一下冷氣 就去吃鴉片粉圓 真的是還不錯吃 可是我還是對家附近的豆漿家豆花情有獨鍾
吃完去好樂迪唱了兩小時的歌 又是在ktv理大吃大喝的 低銷還真的是滿貴的ㄝ 部過我挑戰了幾手沒唱過的歌 背叛 和mr. Q偷很好唱喔 反映不錯
唱完又和伊些同學會面 去了台北車站的 古典玫瑰園 點了一壺好喝的水果茶 之後他們還要通霄續攤 只可惜我家管嚴無法相伴
在台灣的一群好朋友我愛你們 <3 <3 每次回去都超捨不得的:*( 真的希望能永遠維持友誼下去 大家都不要變喔!!;)
謝謝你們每次載我回家 超溫馨:D!!
2007年7月19日 星期四
好忙
Was planning to update my blog almost everyday this summer since I have nothing ambitious planned, but It's looking like I only updated twice since I returned from Europe and most of them COMPLAINTS!! I'm hoping to update everything in Chinese for it to be easy for my parents to read but no didn't happen either...because I would still be at the first 字 if i wasn't typing in english right now. :(
Anyway so what are the things I'm busy doing? well....
1. studying for GMAT (in case i do decid to do business after this...but THIS is taking another 3 years so I am really not feeling all that motivated right now. but i'd rather take it and get it over with and not when i've forgotten all of my math).
2. Practicing piano. Inspired by J I've decided to return to piano and drift away from the Sonatina's i've been playing over the years. Chopin and Debussy just sound so much better, and even though i'm breaking my fingers trying to play these songs I am determined to play them and play them well.
3. Listening to at least language podcast a day. After visiting so many places i realized that knowing only English and Chinese is not nearly enough. So i'm going to start on French, Italian, German..in that order (and IF i can really get that many down).
4. Watching Japanese dramas...Okay this is not exactly a chore but this is something I've enjoyed much every summer. So I'm setting aside about 2 hours everyday to catch up with the latest 流星花園 她的秘密花園 交響情人夢.
5. Finishing reading extracurricular books, esp. those having to do with financial/investment in's and out's. So far i've done 90% of Freakonomics and 0% of Rich Dad Poor Dad and 0% of The World is Flat. Meaning I still have a long way to go.
6. Reconnecting with old friends. I never realized how much I missed them until I actually saw them. I'm hoping to see them a couple more times until I leave.
Btw, I'm trying to not think about work as that gives me immediate stress. It's making me break out already...even thought I still have a week to go. :( where did my vacation go?
Anyway so what are the things I'm busy doing? well....
1. studying for GMAT (in case i do decid to do business after this...but THIS is taking another 3 years so I am really not feeling all that motivated right now. but i'd rather take it and get it over with and not when i've forgotten all of my math).
2. Practicing piano. Inspired by J I've decided to return to piano and drift away from the Sonatina's i've been playing over the years. Chopin and Debussy just sound so much better, and even though i'm breaking my fingers trying to play these songs I am determined to play them and play them well.
3. Listening to at least language podcast a day. After visiting so many places i realized that knowing only English and Chinese is not nearly enough. So i'm going to start on French, Italian, German..in that order (and IF i can really get that many down).
4. Watching Japanese dramas...Okay this is not exactly a chore but this is something I've enjoyed much every summer. So I'm setting aside about 2 hours everyday to catch up with the latest 流星花園 她的秘密花園 交響情人夢.
5. Finishing reading extracurricular books, esp. those having to do with financial/investment in's and out's. So far i've done 90% of Freakonomics and 0% of Rich Dad Poor Dad and 0% of The World is Flat. Meaning I still have a long way to go.
6. Reconnecting with old friends. I never realized how much I missed them until I actually saw them. I'm hoping to see them a couple more times until I leave.
Btw, I'm trying to not think about work as that gives me immediate stress. It's making me break out already...even thought I still have a week to go. :( where did my vacation go?
2007年6月14日 星期四
a week ago
I just remembered that a week ago at this time what I was doing. It was 6/7, my 24th birthday, and we were getting ready to meet up with the rest of the group and Simone, the Italian tour director, was going to take us on a walking tour and farewell dinner. At 4:24 I was trying to convince R to change into her denim skirt because 1)i never saw her in a skirt, not to mention a mini one, and 2) I wanted to see what happened later that night ;). I was dressing up a bit myself, using my white skirt as tube top and i felt REALLy naked in it. Btw R had bought me a Bday sundae which was really yummy:).
We walked about the city as a group, and stopped at one of the plaza for the "apertif". the cute waiter brought over bottles of red and white wine along with little finger sandwiches which were immediately devoured by other people in our group. I was having sorta a chat with our tour director, and he mentioned that he was (or still is) working at a bar right now. And then R †old them about my Bday and I was so embarrassed to tell my age (which i didnt' have to be).
The dinner was great, had the best pasta in my life. and we all went to a bar together...which turned out to be somewhat fun and awkward because of that Camel Back guy. Anyway I tried a French Martini and chatted some more with people in my group. But R seemed to be attracting a lot of the locals ;). Hehe.
I wish I can turn back time. It was one of the best b-days since I turned 17.
We walked about the city as a group, and stopped at one of the plaza for the "apertif". the cute waiter brought over bottles of red and white wine along with little finger sandwiches which were immediately devoured by other people in our group. I was having sorta a chat with our tour director, and he mentioned that he was (or still is) working at a bar right now. And then R †old them about my Bday and I was so embarrassed to tell my age (which i didnt' have to be).
The dinner was great, had the best pasta in my life. and we all went to a bar together...which turned out to be somewhat fun and awkward because of that Camel Back guy. Anyway I tried a French Martini and chatted some more with people in my group. But R seemed to be attracting a lot of the locals ;). Hehe.
I wish I can turn back time. It was one of the best b-days since I turned 17.
Worry worry
I have been back a couple days now, and when you have nothing to do, your mind runs wild.
Anyone who knows me knows,that it's not a secret, that I've been thinking about leaving school. I've been thinking about it since 3 years ago, even before I applied. So it's reasonable when my sister asked, why now? I should have already figured it out 3 years ago. The answer is complicated:
First of all, when i volunteered at the pharmacies, I knew I hated it. But considering what I studied in college, there's only really a couple choices i have. I could go into healthcare, research, or throw myself into the business world. I had a job at a lab for 2 years, and I absolutely cannot fathom myself being in that work enviornment. I dont know if i can really work on something for a couple years, and may I remind you, the bio labs STINK. As an entry level researcher you pretty much grow bacteria/yeast that smell like crap so you can work on the molecular stuff. The sight of petri dishes make me barf.
I felt at the time that healthcare is a sure-fire way to guarantee good jobs, good pay, and there is always a shortage, so why not healthcare? Specifically pharmacy, good hours, good pay, and not as demanding as medicine. I was sold. The decision was made my junior year in college.
Since then, I've been targetting everything I do toward getting into pharm school, the GE's I took, the summer school I took, the extracurricular activities I signed up for, the professors who I tried to meet, everything. I made myself volunteer once a week, for 2 years, at different pharmacies, just so I can stand out from other candidates with my qualifications.
And then I realized how much it wasn't for me. But i had invested too much time I couldn't go back. Going back means that I worked so hard for nothing. So I continued with the application process with a million doubts in my head, but I couldn't go back. I coudln't shake off the feelings that I wasn't being completely honest in my application, and I had to even convince the interviewees that this is what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I think secretly I was hoping that I wouldnt' get in, so i can use that as a reason to leave the track i'm on and pursue something else.
But I did get in. And I couldn't not go. Everyone was so joyous that I felt that maybe my hardwork did pay off. So I went, and I hated every minute of it. I didn't really like my classmates but a few. We have these stupid frats that people get so passionate about. Everything has to revolve around it. I'm in a class with 80% girls, who don't really share all that much in common with me ethnically. I have no problem hanging with people from diff backgrounds, but I couls jsut tell that no matter how hard I try I still am an outsider looking in at their little cliques. My hair started falling out, i had really bad eczema during exam season that drov3 me crazy. I never felt like studying because I could no longer pretend that I care about diabetes mellitus at all. My apititute changet is singing so loud I could no longer ignore it. But i can't go back.
I applied for jobs and started working at a pharmacy. And i HATED it. I was yelled at by customers almost every time i come in. I jsut wasnt' getting the job satisfaction I was looking for. I was sick of having to perform mindless tasks like filling prescription, typing up prescription, dealing with insurance, dealing with irate customers, dealing with technicians who doubt my ability, dealing with pharmacists who abuse the interns.
But I can't go back, I already spent 4 years in colelge studying for bio (at the time it was fun), I tailored all my classes toward pharmacy prerequisites. If i dont do this anymore, I'm wasting the knowledge I have in my head right now. And what else can I do if not pharmacy?
So my confidence is experiencing a new low. When I was younger I was excited about the opportunities I may have when I grow up, I may be going to a really good school, I may be meeting a really cool guy at school, I may be diogn soething I really like. But now I am 24, I absolutely hated the field I am in, and I have put in a LOT more expectations into my future relationsihps hoping it would alleviate all my pain (which is impossible). So there is no one, because school and work take up 80% of my time and the rest I'm sitting on my ass studying for good practices of pharmacy or compounding a cream. And I feel empty.
If i continue with this, I may or may not thank myslef when I get out in 3 years. But 3 years is a long time, esp when you're living it.
I feel that I cannot let my parents down, who think that i'm well onto my future career. It would be such a dissapointment to them and to my relatives that someone who they always deemed bright has become a drop out. And how might I explain to my future employer why i lack references (because the professors and my boss from the places I drop out from definitely will not write me one).
And it was reasonable when my sister pointed out that, pharmacy is not the only way to make a living. It's not that or beggin on the street. I've just limited myself for so long that I can't see other possibilities. It may be true, but considering for the past 4 years i only learned about things relating to pharmacy/science, having no remote business knowledge at all, it would be difficult for me to start brand new somewhere else.
But I can't go back. The stake is too high. I can't disspoint myself and everyone. But if i keep going i can't turn back. And next thing I know, I will be 27, graduating with a lot more regrets than I do right now.
Anyone who knows me knows,that it's not a secret, that I've been thinking about leaving school. I've been thinking about it since 3 years ago, even before I applied. So it's reasonable when my sister asked, why now? I should have already figured it out 3 years ago. The answer is complicated:
First of all, when i volunteered at the pharmacies, I knew I hated it. But considering what I studied in college, there's only really a couple choices i have. I could go into healthcare, research, or throw myself into the business world. I had a job at a lab for 2 years, and I absolutely cannot fathom myself being in that work enviornment. I dont know if i can really work on something for a couple years, and may I remind you, the bio labs STINK. As an entry level researcher you pretty much grow bacteria/yeast that smell like crap so you can work on the molecular stuff. The sight of petri dishes make me barf.
I felt at the time that healthcare is a sure-fire way to guarantee good jobs, good pay, and there is always a shortage, so why not healthcare? Specifically pharmacy, good hours, good pay, and not as demanding as medicine. I was sold. The decision was made my junior year in college.
Since then, I've been targetting everything I do toward getting into pharm school, the GE's I took, the summer school I took, the extracurricular activities I signed up for, the professors who I tried to meet, everything. I made myself volunteer once a week, for 2 years, at different pharmacies, just so I can stand out from other candidates with my qualifications.
And then I realized how much it wasn't for me. But i had invested too much time I couldn't go back. Going back means that I worked so hard for nothing. So I continued with the application process with a million doubts in my head, but I couldn't go back. I coudln't shake off the feelings that I wasn't being completely honest in my application, and I had to even convince the interviewees that this is what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I think secretly I was hoping that I wouldnt' get in, so i can use that as a reason to leave the track i'm on and pursue something else.
But I did get in. And I couldn't not go. Everyone was so joyous that I felt that maybe my hardwork did pay off. So I went, and I hated every minute of it. I didn't really like my classmates but a few. We have these stupid frats that people get so passionate about. Everything has to revolve around it. I'm in a class with 80% girls, who don't really share all that much in common with me ethnically. I have no problem hanging with people from diff backgrounds, but I couls jsut tell that no matter how hard I try I still am an outsider looking in at their little cliques. My hair started falling out, i had really bad eczema during exam season that drov3 me crazy. I never felt like studying because I could no longer pretend that I care about diabetes mellitus at all. My apititute changet is singing so loud I could no longer ignore it. But i can't go back.
I applied for jobs and started working at a pharmacy. And i HATED it. I was yelled at by customers almost every time i come in. I jsut wasnt' getting the job satisfaction I was looking for. I was sick of having to perform mindless tasks like filling prescription, typing up prescription, dealing with insurance, dealing with irate customers, dealing with technicians who doubt my ability, dealing with pharmacists who abuse the interns.
But I can't go back, I already spent 4 years in colelge studying for bio (at the time it was fun), I tailored all my classes toward pharmacy prerequisites. If i dont do this anymore, I'm wasting the knowledge I have in my head right now. And what else can I do if not pharmacy?
So my confidence is experiencing a new low. When I was younger I was excited about the opportunities I may have when I grow up, I may be going to a really good school, I may be meeting a really cool guy at school, I may be diogn soething I really like. But now I am 24, I absolutely hated the field I am in, and I have put in a LOT more expectations into my future relationsihps hoping it would alleviate all my pain (which is impossible). So there is no one, because school and work take up 80% of my time and the rest I'm sitting on my ass studying for good practices of pharmacy or compounding a cream. And I feel empty.
If i continue with this, I may or may not thank myslef when I get out in 3 years. But 3 years is a long time, esp when you're living it.
I feel that I cannot let my parents down, who think that i'm well onto my future career. It would be such a dissapointment to them and to my relatives that someone who they always deemed bright has become a drop out. And how might I explain to my future employer why i lack references (because the professors and my boss from the places I drop out from definitely will not write me one).
And it was reasonable when my sister pointed out that, pharmacy is not the only way to make a living. It's not that or beggin on the street. I've just limited myself for so long that I can't see other possibilities. It may be true, but considering for the past 4 years i only learned about things relating to pharmacy/science, having no remote business knowledge at all, it would be difficult for me to start brand new somewhere else.
But I can't go back. The stake is too high. I can't disspoint myself and everyone. But if i keep going i can't turn back. And next thing I know, I will be 27, graduating with a lot more regrets than I do right now.
2007年5月9日 星期三
Funny funny links:
Verizon Taco Mom commercial
Verizon Taco Mum on DHADM
This is the funniest after the Caveman series from Geico....that cracked me up too.
and this upcoming movie: Balls of Fury
http://movies.aol.com/movie/balls-of-fury/24183/trailer
Verizon Taco Mom commercial
Verizon Taco Mum on DHADM
This is the funniest after the Caveman series from Geico....that cracked me up too.
and this upcoming movie: Balls of Fury
http://movies.aol.com/movie/balls-of-fury/24183/trailer
2007年5月5日 星期六
Staying up studying for EXAMS!!! :P
Grr I hate doing another post in English. I fully intend to practice my Chinese typing skill but I always remember about updating my website around midnight (it reads 11:27pm right now). Oooh they are playing Xmas music on Radio Deliro (which I highly recommend for anyone who's into French music and jazz, this and Hot Radio 90 as well as Frequence 3). OOh how I love Xmas music.
Anyway, nothing TOO interesting about today. Ok maybe there's a few:
1. The HARDEST exam ever which I took yesterday, well, the score is posted by my Nazi professor (she's a scary woman). I seriously felt butterflies in stomach when i opened the link, expecting a failing grade which will enable to not study for the next 2 exams...because as they say, if you fail one, you can't go on to 2nd level, hence no reason to struggle with other classes. I can practically get on a plane and go home for good. Anyhoo, the grades are out...and the class average is 69...and I got a 73!!!!!This had never happened before. NEVER! I am so used to doing shitty in that class I can't believe, for once, I did above average. (by the way pharm school is actually pretty impossible...the low average has nothing to do with my actual IQ (i hope). ;) Something to feel happy about.
2. I got a full set of Mani+Pedi!!! I wish I have pictures to go with this, but my camera has broken down for good, you'll just have to take my words for it. The experience was pleasant...like last time. I really like being pampered, esp after I've lived like an amazon for so long. School has turned me into a sloppy, uncouth, androgenous girl. I have cuticles that are bitten off by my mouth and the bottom of my sole can be used to grind potatoes. I can't even find my pulmice stone!!!! So I was sitting in this comfy, vibrating couch with my feet soaked in soap water. The manicurist just helped me cleaned out all that dead skin (thank you)..and put on fresh layer of nail polish for me. (OOH THEY ARE PLAYING JINGLE BELL RIGHT NOW...HEHE AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR :). ) So my nails are in this very nude, very understated color, while my hand nails are nicely blackish purple. I was going to do neon colors with black..but the manicurists didn't think it was such a good idea (they literally laughed at me) so i went with just black. Cute I must say.
3. And i got my BEST BUY GIFT CARDS IN THE MAIL!!! Thank you CITICARDS...I love it when i am able to use my points to actualy get something I want! And since my digital camera left me for good, I have exchanged my points for gift cards I can use toward my purchase of another camera. Meaning after finals I will be able to really shop for what I need for the trip. And I'm happy that i'll soon be able to update the website regularly like a real blogger. :)
4. Oh and I had something liek pinkberyy yesterday. It was pretty good...although I still have to try the original to see how they compare. Frozen yogurt with toppings you can choose. I like how I'm not getting fat with this. :D
Ok two more finals to go. Must not lose the tenacity.
Anyway, nothing TOO interesting about today. Ok maybe there's a few:
1. The HARDEST exam ever which I took yesterday, well, the score is posted by my Nazi professor (she's a scary woman). I seriously felt butterflies in stomach when i opened the link, expecting a failing grade which will enable to not study for the next 2 exams...because as they say, if you fail one, you can't go on to 2nd level, hence no reason to struggle with other classes. I can practically get on a plane and go home for good. Anyhoo, the grades are out...and the class average is 69...and I got a 73!!!!!This had never happened before. NEVER! I am so used to doing shitty in that class I can't believe, for once, I did above average. (by the way pharm school is actually pretty impossible...the low average has nothing to do with my actual IQ (i hope). ;) Something to feel happy about.
2. I got a full set of Mani+Pedi!!! I wish I have pictures to go with this, but my camera has broken down for good, you'll just have to take my words for it. The experience was pleasant...like last time. I really like being pampered, esp after I've lived like an amazon for so long. School has turned me into a sloppy, uncouth, androgenous girl. I have cuticles that are bitten off by my mouth and the bottom of my sole can be used to grind potatoes. I can't even find my pulmice stone!!!! So I was sitting in this comfy, vibrating couch with my feet soaked in soap water. The manicurist just helped me cleaned out all that dead skin (thank you)..and put on fresh layer of nail polish for me. (OOH THEY ARE PLAYING JINGLE BELL RIGHT NOW...HEHE AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR :). ) So my nails are in this very nude, very understated color, while my hand nails are nicely blackish purple. I was going to do neon colors with black..but the manicurists didn't think it was such a good idea (they literally laughed at me) so i went with just black. Cute I must say.
3. And i got my BEST BUY GIFT CARDS IN THE MAIL!!! Thank you CITICARDS...I love it when i am able to use my points to actualy get something I want! And since my digital camera left me for good, I have exchanged my points for gift cards I can use toward my purchase of another camera. Meaning after finals I will be able to really shop for what I need for the trip. And I'm happy that i'll soon be able to update the website regularly like a real blogger. :)
4. Oh and I had something liek pinkberyy yesterday. It was pretty good...although I still have to try the original to see how they compare. Frozen yogurt with toppings you can choose. I like how I'm not getting fat with this. :D
Ok two more finals to go. Must not lose the tenacity.
2007年4月11日 星期三
單身的好處
人如果沒有的東西 好像都會覺得比較好 單身的永遠都在抱怨一個人的壞處 再交往的又恨不得單身 雖然不能說我時常都保持著正面的想法 但我對於單身這件事倒也滿看的開的 原因無他 光是聽到我身邊血淋淋的例子 就覺得不如寧缺勿濫
原本我一個超好的朋友 在一個人見人厭的relationship裡 就夠我5年不想交往了 最近又被以極度不人道方式 給大甩特甩 事情不到一個月就聽說前男友新歡在抱 再加上申請的工作被拒絕 只能說雪上加霜 之前雖然都給過她意見 但人云戀愛中的人耳朵是閉起來的 加上自己又不停的幫男友狂辯 久了人都懶得講了 現在除了安慰也別無他法
上個禮拜四 和另一群學校的朋友出去其中的一個女生才真的讓我見識到真正的歇斯底里 酒過三旬後 (其實也只有一杯) 就開始崩潰 一下說春假才一起去巴黎的 一回來交往三年的男友就和遇到兩天的女的跑了 之後語無倫次的說還愛他 又詛咒他和那的女的去死 和這個女的從來就不熟 也不能說為她敢到難過 倒是看到某些人沒和她認識多久就一直說 "It's okay, we all love you. Don't do anything stupid to yourself." 雖說美國女人本來就愛裝熟和說說就好 聽了還是起一身雞皮疙瘩 再加上已經半夜一點了 站在寒冷的街上等她歇斯底里完 時在很難讓人想care
總之 自己也知道 像電影中達西先生的人 也只存在電影裡......
原本我一個超好的朋友 在一個人見人厭的relationship裡 就夠我5年不想交往了 最近又被以極度不人道方式 給大甩特甩 事情不到一個月就聽說前男友新歡在抱 再加上申請的工作被拒絕 只能說雪上加霜 之前雖然都給過她意見 但人云戀愛中的人耳朵是閉起來的 加上自己又不停的幫男友狂辯 久了人都懶得講了 現在除了安慰也別無他法
上個禮拜四 和另一群學校的朋友出去其中的一個女生才真的讓我見識到真正的歇斯底里 酒過三旬後 (其實也只有一杯) 就開始崩潰 一下說春假才一起去巴黎的 一回來交往三年的男友就和遇到兩天的女的跑了 之後語無倫次的說還愛他 又詛咒他和那的女的去死 和這個女的從來就不熟 也不能說為她敢到難過 倒是看到某些人沒和她認識多久就一直說 "It's okay, we all love you. Don't do anything stupid to yourself." 雖說美國女人本來就愛裝熟和說說就好 聽了還是起一身雞皮疙瘩 再加上已經半夜一點了 站在寒冷的街上等她歇斯底里完 時在很難讓人想care
總之 自己也知道 像電影中達西先生的人 也只存在電影裡......
2007年4月3日 星期二
Blades of Glory & 壞心情
原本想好好的給它寫一篇很長的文章 今天的心情又很不幸的被搞差了 只好去挖了冰箱的一罐Corona Lite 來喝 怕說等下睡不著 學校的尾聲還不結束 每一天都覺得永無止境的 加上一直沒辦法覺決定是否把工作辭掉 真的壓力很大 那一天再好好解釋我現在的困境吧 :(
好在weekend去看了Blades of Glory 超級好笑的 推荐給大家:
或
這weekend也去拜訪了一間新開的西班牙tapas餐廳/lounge bar 叫做 Barcelona 菜是還不錯但並沒有驚豔的感覺 不過Sangria 水果酒還滿好喝的就是了
2007年3月27日 星期二
春假和無法上傳的照片
從春假回來後就一直沒有post新文章或照片 一部分是因為忙 一部分是因為我相機壞了 放假時還可以在當機前照個幾張 現在則是完全不能動 我照片都卡在裡面了啦啦啦 (哭) 只好改天再去買新相機 (還是要Canon :P )
既然不能以圖片代字 我就先list 一些好玩的地方 之後再慢慢介紹 (又在懶了):
Mission District
Castro District (好多有型的GBLT)
Esperando 西班牙tapas餐廳超好吃的 氣氛也不錯
Suede (一個club 還不錯 不過我還不太喜歡跳舞就對了)
Heighs & Ashbury (超嘻皮的地方 有好多二手衣店 不過我有點怕怕的)
Fisherman's Wharf (漁人碼頭 還是去不煩)
Ghiradelli Square (yummy yummy)
搭公車轉Bart to Berkeley
跟Jane 吃地中海食物
鯉魚門 (吃過最好吃的飲茶)
金門大橋
藝術宮
超糗的公車經驗
Lombard St.
跟郭逛Union Square!!! <3
小義大利的Mona Lisa Restaurant
Twin Peaks (羅曼蒂克可惜我是單身 :*( )
舊金山超好玩的 都不用開車真方便 :D
2007年3月10日 星期六
French Nail
今天是 spring break 開始的第一天 決定自己做指甲來慶祝一下 挑了去年買到現在還沒用的 french Nails set from Maybelline and Gemey 在巴黎的Sephora 找到的 還滿不錯用 可是要等很久就是了 而且我第一次用還不很熟練 一下子忙東忙西的又沾到了 真是.......
看起來不賴吧!!
2007年3月8日 星期四
Guys Working at my store......
ARE REALLY HOT.
(details will follow...........when I take my study break in 2 hrs) :)
Ok this is a day later....Anyway the two latino guys are very easy on the eyes and translate Spanish for us. Guys who speak a foreign language can be very attractive...and with names like Julio and Jacob. Definitely got the male model look...but they work at the store front! (which means 2 things, either they can be hs students still, which makes it illegal for me to even think about them, or they can be 30 y/o's who still cashier.......) They must think i'm a dork for staring at them (when they are not looking ;) . :P hehe.
(details will follow...........when I take my study break in 2 hrs) :)
Ok this is a day later....Anyway the two latino guys are very easy on the eyes and translate Spanish for us. Guys who speak a foreign language can be very attractive...and with names like Julio and Jacob. Definitely got the male model look...but they work at the store front! (which means 2 things, either they can be hs students still, which makes it illegal for me to even think about them, or they can be 30 y/o's who still cashier.......) They must think i'm a dork for staring at them (when they are not looking ;) . :P hehe.
2007年3月5日 星期一
Claire's social experiment
Ok I'm reading so much my eyes are getting watery. The saddest part is, I KNOW i'm going to fail tomorrow's exam. I am expected to know everything about molecular biology/genetics ever invented/used by researchers in all kinds of situations. I don't know why the professor expects this of me. It took me 4 years of undergrad to really kind of understand how the genes might work, and now i'm talking about clinical application.......I wouldn't be surprised if i failed to answer half the exam questions.
So under my extreme exhaustion, I started reading an article on happen.com (by match.com). And then there's these pull-down options where i can search for people of the opposite sex and limit the age and location. So i searched for fun: Male, 22-27 y/o, location doesn't matter. And i got a bunch of VERY scary looking guys. and i mean VERY. they are so hideous if they run private school i wont send my kids there. (so i was thinking great, if i ever put up a profile that's how people are going to look at me, single AND scary-looking). And then as i impatiently clicked through the pages feeling quite sad about the situtaion, I saw this guy who's remotely better looking, who i actually woulnd't mind shoot an e-mail to (but of course i'm not signed up with match.com). And his location is UK. Which raises the question, are european men better looking than their American counterparts? So i did another search, limiting the physical location to LONDON, UK (as a start). And voila! I would say the curve just shifted upward by a good 50%. There are honestly pages of guys who do not make single people look sad. So are european men really better crop than the guys i'm meeting here? I believe all that mixing with the eastern european, italian guys does the job. But try it sometime, you'll be surprised how gifted/lack of people look in different parts of the world. And then you can start thinking about moving there like I do.
2007年3月4日 星期日
Weekend full of surprises...
禮拜五是忙碌的一天 早上匆忙的考了一個小考後 就急忙投入大溪地舞的最後練習 穿上草裙後每個人都變得好會跳 一切都進行的很順利直到.......表演到一半我裙子掉下來!!!! 我還渾然不知直到聽到觀眾的驚叫聲 好在我裡面有穿sarong 可班上同學都坐我正旁邊 還得電動臀最後一次 超糗:(
之後回到家 換了衣服後就奔去Universal City Walk 了 朋友幫我買了雪警的票(snowpatrol) 結果在超大的venue看感覺超奇怪 連臉都看不到 只看到人的outline 前兩個開場的 band 也還不錯 (Silver something & Ok Go). 感覺滿另類搖滾的 不過真的看到snow Patrol 感覺跟想像中不一樣 很多歌讓我想到Beck, 唱歌時英國腔並不重 可講話時就聽得出來 而且英式幽默還真的滿無厘頭的 而且他們還滿愛講髒話的 跟歌裡的多情細膩完全不一樣 有的歌真的是我聽過最悲傷的 像set fire to the third degree 還有 something about "please dont let us turn into something we're not....." and "it makes me want to cry knowing i won't see those eyes again...." and the famous " let's waste time chasing cars......" 讓我不禁猜想是那樣的女生可以引發他的靈感......must be something....:P 不過band 的男生真的滿吸引人的 可惜我不住在他們的世界.....:*(
2007年3月1日 星期四
忙碌中的快樂事
這禮拜的忙碌的高潮終於在今天告一段落 昨天兄弟會募款的最後一天 幫忙賣了兩小時的食物 之後急忙趕去佈置晚上 另一個會場 說是說一個好機會認識已經在藥廠工作的藥劑師们 其實到最後擠得要死 還滿懷疑他们會記得我 只是想辦法哈拉到一堆business cards 而已.....實在不喜歡networking....覺得自己好油條......在一天的最後發現自己fail了一個期中考 看來在我自己drop out前 就會先被踢出去吧 !
今天是臨時報佛腳的另一天 明天大溪地舞要上場了 搖了一晚上的屁股 希望明天可以不要出糗 嬅還覺得我動作太小呢 (FYI: Tahitian Dance 有別於 Hula, 是屁股搖很快的那種).
這一切跟Switchfoot有何關係呢 答案是我剛發現了他們的一個 website 可讓你分享演唱會的footage 我大學看了他們好幾次 真可惜他們都結婚了......:P
2007年2月27日 星期二
壞了的相機不讓我上傳去California Adventure 的照片 是沒電的關係嗎 看來辛苦的工作又要多一項支出 相機又不能買太便宜的 大失血阿 看來還是買Canon的好了 用的較習慣 至於可愛的 Mr. Potato 和 A bug's Life 大遊行的照片就等明天了 還有我跟小嫩搭超級恐怖旅館電梯 我大力推薦 California Adventure! :D
工作最近還算順心 大部份的雜務都越來越上手 做事超級有效率 害我又覺得辭職不太好 換了一個地方 也可能有不合的人 不合的上司 不是說離開就能解決的 何況還要重新訓練 真的滿浪費時間的 到時再看看了 我想只要薪水不錯就再待一會吧........:-O
工作最近還算順心 大部份的雜務都越來越上手 做事超級有效率 害我又覺得辭職不太好 換了一個地方 也可能有不合的人 不合的上司 不是說離開就能解決的 何況還要重新訓練 真的滿浪費時間的 到時再看看了 我想只要薪水不錯就再待一會吧........:-O
2007年2月25日 星期日
苦讀中的兩三事
爸媽豆剛回去 時間突然間空了下來 是好也是壞 好的是反正也沒人和我說話 不如讀書 壞的是又開始不能專心 整天胡思亂想
昨天去Borders 讀了一整天 其間穿插了看些旅遊書 不知道是否這個暑假真的能成行 計畫應該是最難的部分吧 法文已經忘了大半 只記得一些皮毛 要用來旅遊也不夠 更別說要再學其他語言了 我想以我現在的生活 要好好的學完英法德日應該是不可能的吧 <-- 好像又開始講些喪氣的話了
不過昨晚和同學挑燈苦讀 跟我說她有個女生朋友 去巴黎實習一個暑假後 現在所有的男友都是男模 讓我想到我令一個朋友 現在索性不回來了 就住在倫敦過著無比chic 的生活 穿著也十分摩登 反而現在我們見面 倒還不知道該聊些什麼 總之我朋友最後寄了巴黎女的網站給我看 的確穿著十分剌又有型 可是那臉 我就不予置評了 一直讓我想到 Janice Dickinson (前supermodel, 現在像個鬼) 不知道是不是我審美關和他們不同 而且篇篇都大幅宣揚她的boyfriends, 說她被巴黎寵壞了. 真是....
而我還坐在這裡讀膀胱炎和尿道炎和腎衰竭 只能奉勸大家: 多喝水
昨天去Borders 讀了一整天 其間穿插了看些旅遊書 不知道是否這個暑假真的能成行 計畫應該是最難的部分吧 法文已經忘了大半 只記得一些皮毛 要用來旅遊也不夠 更別說要再學其他語言了 我想以我現在的生活 要好好的學完英法德日應該是不可能的吧 <-- 好像又開始講些喪氣的話了
不過昨晚和同學挑燈苦讀 跟我說她有個女生朋友 去巴黎實習一個暑假後 現在所有的男友都是男模 讓我想到我令一個朋友 現在索性不回來了 就住在倫敦過著無比chic 的生活 穿著也十分摩登 反而現在我們見面 倒還不知道該聊些什麼 總之我朋友最後寄了巴黎女的網站給我看 的確穿著十分剌又有型 可是那臉 我就不予置評了 一直讓我想到 Janice Dickinson (前supermodel, 現在像個鬼) 不知道是不是我審美關和他們不同 而且篇篇都大幅宣揚她的boyfriends, 說她被巴黎寵壞了. 真是....
而我還坐在這裡讀膀胱炎和尿道炎和腎衰竭 只能奉勸大家: 多喝水
2007年2月22日 星期四
暗淡的心情
研一的倒數幾個月 研二的教授進來跟我们說了幾句話 總之從這個暑假開始 每次都要輪差不多十幾個學生去對面的醫院做IV Rotation 就是製作病人掉點滴那個內容物 不知道中文叫啥 每天六點半就得到 之後還要考藥名 考完直接去上一整天的課 全班聽到後都傻掉 有人暑假已經決定要出國 有人要做 internship 到時候排到又不一定找得到人換 簡直是又多了一件令人擔心的事 暑假出國的機票到現在都還沒訂 唉 研究所到底什麼時候才念得完阿 之前還想說申請那個 dual degree program (PharmD/MBA) 現在倒覺得多一天都撐不下去 (說是說 還是用了coupon 買了一本GMAT的書 分數可以保留五年的樣子)
明天一大早 爸媽和豆就回家了 心情有點灰暗 總覺得好在他們這幾個月來得比較頻繁 不然我真的會崩潰 看來今年暑假如果能回台灣 要好好調整心態 休息一下 接下來什麼時候能再回去就不知道了 有時覺得 那麼想念不如就回去工作算了 可是也不知道我念的這個需要量大不大
原本才在說這個blog不准打低落的事 現在又揚揚灑灑打了一大篇 看來新希望又打破一個了 我看還是不要太壓抑 自然就好
明天一大早 爸媽和豆就回家了 心情有點灰暗 總覺得好在他們這幾個月來得比較頻繁 不然我真的會崩潰 看來今年暑假如果能回台灣 要好好調整心態 休息一下 接下來什麼時候能再回去就不知道了 有時覺得 那麼想念不如就回去工作算了 可是也不知道我念的這個需要量大不大
原本才在說這個blog不准打低落的事 現在又揚揚灑灑打了一大篇 看來新希望又打破一個了 我看還是不要太壓抑 自然就好
2007年2月21日 星期三
Weekend in Palm Springs
Itinerary:
Cafe des Beaux Arts- time to feel really embarrassed about my French when asked "Parlez-vous francais?"
More details to follow...
2007年2月13日 星期二
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