the end of it...:(

So, today is one of those days where you wake up and get really freaked out about something. and this is definitely the end of a major, major crush. I'm sad to say that ending is so pathetic and embarrassing.

My crisis being that, I shaved my armpits on friday, and used deodorant on sunday before work. during work i was feeling this burning pain under my arms but didn't think much of it. It's been irritated before, and I just carried on with my job. then i developed a really bad headache because the pain in my underarm never went away. if anything it's increased in magnitude and got really uncomfortable. So i did a quick bathroom run to check on myself, and found really, painful, red almost pimple like bumps under my arms. ALL OVER. it just looked like a really bad case of folliculitis, and i had multiple of them. I grabbed a wet towel to wipe most of the deodorant residue off. and suffered through the day. When my sister met up with me for dinner, i couldn't even sit straight. i had her take me home because my head hurt so much i was goin to vomit.

When i went home i self-medicated, hoping that it would go away. i was praying that i didn't have to go to student health because mondays are not the days when my usual gyneo/ob would be there, and that would mean that i have to show this nasty situation to the OTHER doc, who is the cute one who i had a crush on for a while.

But of course with my luck goes, the pimples never went away. So i had to do a emergency walk-in this morning. And i have to say that it marked the official ending of my crush. I dont think anyone can stand showing their armpits up close to someone they like, not to mention, red, pus-forming, prickly (new hair growing out and unable to shave), smelly (couldn't put any more deodorant on on a hot summer day) armpits in his face. YES. I DID THAT. RIGHT IN HIS FACE. WITH PUS AND ALL.

He of course was being very professional about it. and comforted me that he's seen worse, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. But i think at that point my heart just died, of humiliation, and disappointment in myself. Events occur in my life always has to be so friggin embarrassing, why can't i be like one of those perfect girls who never trip, never spills a drink, never had an accident with her period?

Anyway, i doubt that I will ever go back and visit student health. but this is really the least expected event of my life. you never want a crush of yours to think you're nasty. and with my recent infections all over the body, i think i've successfully proved him otherwise.