AHHH!

I'm not surprised if people think that I am bipolar. I think reading my post gives that impression.

So today is a day with mixed emotions. i started the day with a health fair in monterey park (a chinese populated city close by). I volunteered to be the counselor at the osteoporosis booth, which i've volunteered at many times a year. and since i grow up speaking mandarin so i was assuming that it's going to be a walk in the park. I was paired up with a very nice second year student who is doing healthfair and the osteoporosis for the first time. I was only instructed to assist her and jump in when she had questions so my chinese really came in handly with a lot of the older women. At one point when it got slower i was told to go outside to give a general counsultation to people in the waiting room, at which point it got very enjoyable for me. I had had the opportunity to speak to so many friendly chinese senior citizens, and they seemed to really like me too. i was really enjoying educating them more about their risks about osteoporosis, what they can take to prevent it, and what foods to eat. the crowd gave me good response, and the women were really appreciative. On her way out, a woman actually thanked me personally and told me that i was the prettiest in the room! HAHA i'm sure she was just being nice (there were a ton of pretty girls in the room). I think i only stood out to her because she probably recognize from my accent that I was from taiwan and I liked chatting with people. But in any case, that made me good for a while. the chinese church provided lunch to thank us the volunteers, and the box lunch was actually full of dim-sum type of foods! haha i was in high heaven.

then i went home and took a nap. When I woke up i decided to head to starbucks to study for a bit. i noticed that i had missed a call from my roommate/best friend from college. i textd her back to find out what was going on, and here's her exact message:

" Hey guess what? I got engaged! :X "

at which point, my eyes popped out of my eye sockets. I immediately called her back to get the details. So it appears that, her bf took her out to coronado island in san diego, and they took a walk in the park, and he just got down on one knee and proposed!

I was so surprised, partly because when i joked about it in the past, she would say that it was too early (they have only been seeing each other for 6 months), and that they both agree to wait at leas 2 years before they take that big step (she's the same age as me). And we talked about this because, our other roommate is engaged and getting married this october. So after i found out that my best friend/roommate was engaged i asked about the big day, and she said it's most likely in 6 months, which is november. meaning before the end of 2009, two of my roommates will be married off. And my third one, got engaged at the beginning of the year as well. i am now the LAST roommate of all my college roommates that i've roommed with who has yet to be married.

no wonder i freaked out.

it's interesting that one day you can be so pumped about your life and ready to take on any challenge, and one day you're standing in the intersection of roads trying to decide where to go from here. i've always pictured myself being married when i was little, but i am now heading farther and farther away from that route, and closer and closer to the end of no where. i feel extremely anxious and unsure about my career (hospital, residency, industry, b school..), who to go to and what strings i need to pull to get there, all the while against the tickling sound of my biological clock.

i'd like to think i'm just as loveable and marriage-worthy, but people are being married off one by one.maybe 10 years from now i'll look at this post and feel ridiculous about my sentiments right now. let's hope things are a lot different then.