errr

today's my second day to be home in tpe.and I'm waiting up super early prolly due to the jetlag. It's actually not so bad since I get to see the sunrise in tpe through the window.

Just found out last night that my mom was serious about setting me up with the son of her friend. and the worst part is that she's made it this coming weekend, and both the son and HIS MOM and my mom and I are going to be there. I never am a big fan of set-up dinners/lunches, not to mention having it with each other's parents. Because she had agreed to the deal so i can't back out. But really the idea is making me nauseas a little bit. Since my poor sister has been back ( a week before me), i think she's set her up two two really old men who probably have absolutely nothing in common with my sister. And of course these old farts (and i mean forty somethings) were slobbering all over my sister because what are the chances that they would ever talk to someone pretty in her 20s again. So of course they showed high interest and my sister is kinda not feeling it with these men who are closer in age to our dad than to us. And when i tried to defend my sister's choice my mom gets angry about us being picky (not true). it's just a sad fact that when you're quickly approaching your 30s your parents sometimes go through this crazy phase of trying to marry you off, regardless of how disgusting the other party is as long as you're not an old maid anymore. What they dont' realize is, there's really not that many single available likeable guys out there. and my mom keeps saying that when we come back in a few years no guys will want to be set-up with a 30 something anymore. well, THAT'S FINE WITH ME. i think it bothers her more than it bothers me. If someone's so shallow and ageist that he refuses to date people closer to his own age, it probably means that he isn't comfortable with himself anyway. either that he is a pedophile, or he doesn't have enough confidence to date someone who matches his experience and education. And I'm fine with that fact, as long as he isn't going out with me. Men who are like that will always be able to find petite naive cuties to go out with. I hate to sound like a jaded old woman but i really dont need that to complicate my life.

I am realizing that my 'pie' is getting smaller and smaller and at this rate it might be REAL hard to find someone who i actually like. and as much as i hate the idea i'm willing to just go hang out with someone one-on-one without the presence of his parent. I'm sure the other person wonders the same about me to: a 26 year old something with no prospect of a boyfriend who is so desperate that she needs to be set up by her mom. But i think if both parents are there it wil make the situation worse. Just cuz my mom really planned to have lunch with us, and then leave us to some coffeeshop to continue a 4-hour conversation (what happened to my poor sister last time). well, for one, i DO NOT with to spend more than 2 hrs with someone i meet for the first time, and i DO NOT carry 4-hour conversations with people, period. unless i really like them and have known them for a while. It's really hard to keep the conversation that entertaining. can't we just make it short and sweet and if we do want to hang out then we'll hang out again? the idea is sooooo repulsive to me....

My somewhat dellussional mom tends to think that me and my sister put work above everything else and that we are socially inept to actually tie down any real lads. As opposed to my little sister who gets any guy of her choice and tends to go out with anyone who looks half decent. Well, for one, i put my career first because i'm at that point (graduation) that i really need to start thinking seriously about a job and not a future husband who may or may not happen, and secondly, i kinda worked really hard for my degree, so i'd hate to see all that go to waste, and lastly, it's not like i have someone who i love and who i reject because of work. I really just havne't met anyone who i'd like to go out with, so the solid, tangibl things to work on are my interviews. i'd feel a lot better after i've landed a job. and to say the least i do not lack social skills. i probably have more than all of that combined from my mom and my aunties who have lectured me over the years about being single. Well, back in the day you can have the social skill of a bean and still land a husband. i have to hold real hard jobs and go to company functions longer than any of you have during your single years (since i have been single longer), so do not lecture me about being socially closed off. some people just aren't lucky in love. and maybe i just dont feel like going clubbing all the time like some people i know and just hook up with people until we get sick of each other. However i really feel that that's what will make me look 'marketable' these days even in the eyes of my parent's generation.

I've realized that, from the last couple times i hung out with girls who tend to be popular that, they do flirty little things to string guys along. they brush up against their arms, sort of half lying on his shoulder when something is outrageously funny, and wear tight-ass clothes. I dont have a problem with people doing that. I know that's what guys would love to see but it has nothing to do with me. I like that i dont do any of that stuff. i dont like sending out mixed messages of touch guys who i'm not interested in, i dont wear revealing clothes in the winter because if butt-freezing cold out and i'd like to stay H1N1-free. i like the way i am and the way i look and the lack of marketability i have because that's what makes me unique and not like any of the trampy girls out there who put facebook pictures with their ta-tas out. but apparently even my own mom doesn't agree with me.


ok, you can tell that i'm in a somewhat upset mood....;) sorry!