interview today

Today is my interview day with the company I did a rotation with. It went smoothly, for the most part. i was really glad to see some familiar faces. And in general I feel pretty good about this interview. Of course, at this point of the game, I learned not to have too high of expectation of anything. Just because i did a rotation there doesn't mean much. Of course it gives me an advantage, but from what my boss told me today, NINE other people from my class also applied, not including students from other schools. So yes, this year is BAD.

For the most part, my old boss and the other guy on my team made it very easy for me. We didn't even really go over interview questions. I gave them an update about my life thusfar, and they were really supportive of me and answered every question i had. I could tell that from my 6 weeks there they really liked my performance, but ultimately the decision isn't in their hands. When i come back for the second interview I will be giving a presentation like with other companies, to the top 2 directors of the division. I am fine with giving presentations. But the fact that I haven't received any offers for the other positions I applied for definitely makes me doubt my own ability. I used to think i do a decent job, but if i really was that good, how could i have not gotten any offers? It must mean that someone out there does a even hotter job (see? self doubt already).

I could feel myself getting my nervous with each interview. Supposedly I should have more practice now and should be better at it. But because this is pretty late into the game, there's more at stake now. It's more like Baxter vs. Bristol Myers Squibb vs. unemployment. and looking at the economy right now with each time i interview it is very likely i will end up with unemployment for a while. so the urgency actually made me a 'worse' interviewee now since I have begun to feel more nervous. Even this morning when I woke up i felt jittery. And this is with people I already know!

My next predicament is that, with my next interview at BMS, I will likely find out about the result next week. whether good or bad, I will find out before the 2nd round of baxter interview even happens. that forces me to make a decision right away. Of course, if they didn't choose me, that makes the equation so much easier. but if they did, it's liek i practically will have to turn everyone down in order to wait in vain for baxter's decision. And remember, i'm going against 9+ people (at least).

My concern with BMS is that, it is with a division i want to work with less. and it's far. and it's not in a metropolitan area. so it's basically the thousand oaks of nyc if i have to come up with an analogy. anyway, still lots of questions to be answered. But I suppose we will find out.


In any case, I should really just wait until I get an offer from BMS before I start to stress. I tend to get ahead of myself a lot. At this point I really want to just be done with my interviews so i can go home to tw.