nothing in particular

my sister just made me clean out some old stuff, and i came across these overhead slides i made in 2005 for a speech class i was taking. I was taking it because i needed it as a prerequisit for pharm school. But it was actually a very interesting experience (and i never would have thought i would ever say this in hindsight. how time flies).

The speech was on the issue of Medical Marijuana, and interestingly enough, i was looking at the speakers outline for myself, and i really liked the ideas i had. I modeled my speech after the guideline he gave us, and i really think it's impeccable from many aspects. i mean, people better go out there and vote for MM after listening to my speech. it was such a blast to make too. Another speech i made in class was to teach people the chemistry behind love (which i still remember all the hormones associated, and constantly refer to. ;) there's the initial sexual attraction, the changing phase, and the attachment phase, if i still remember it right. i remember people would come up to me and say "is that right?" something about oxytocin being secreted so you feel the attachment to each other, much like the oxytocin secreted when a mother breastfeeds. interesting stuff.

So i was thinking, without any particular instruction, i voluntarily did both speeches on science/health related stuff. and i really enjoyed the experience. So there WAS a time when this all was enjoyable to me and not such a darn labor. when did i stop liking all THIS? i can't even remember. there was a time when i sit in lecture, and i would nod my head in agreement or amazement at some scientific stuff the professor said. physics was a lot of fun, chemistry was too. none of this seemed very hard..and i really like how they explain the world around me perfectly. But right now, it's more like, if you don't remember this in 3 days in time for the exam or case conference, your ass gets whacked.

i miss those days when i learn just because i want to KNOW, not because of how much money i can make with THIS i'm learning when i graduate. I guess you can say, my interest is learning. my hobby is learning. things i've never done before. i just dont want to be MADE to learn something. So when i took French and Microbio and anatomy at the same time i never thought it was a chore. and piano during middle school when i had to battle with the high school entrance exam.

it definitely is the hardest when you have to learn not to dislike. but i'm getting there.