today was NOT a good day. I woke up early to go to the bookstore, but then my hair was bugging the hell out of me because i had not had a haircut since the end of summer, and now everything just looks bushy! it makes me so mad that my bangs are in a clump and when i separate them by hand they look greasy and gross. so i finally put myself together and left the house only to find out that the coffeeshop was packed, ie. no seats for me to study. this whole morning just sort of adds on to what i had found out yesterday, that my travel agent MESSED up and that my booking information has gone missing! so she had to re-book me and now i either leave on the day after the exam or i dont have seats at all. I was still feeling super annoyed about that because now i have to cancel things with my friends and i have no time to get a haircut and i have to skip 2 hours of work if they'll let me! (and i will find out tonight when i tell my boss at the company dinner, which is the night before my last final). Everything just friggin sucks.
so i went back and watched the Project Runway with the MALE MODELS again. it instantly made me feel better. and i am SO into that guy who's going to study ethnobotany (whatever the hell it means).
2007年12月16日 星期日
2007年12月12日 星期三
Why i watch Project Runway
aFter a long day of exam, i should be starting on the next one straight away, but i decided that i can use a little break while having my dinner. and then i turned on Bravo and Project Runway was on. and it was a competition on men's wear. things were blah blah blah until....THE MODELS CAME IN FOR THE FITTING. i was like HOLY COW!! the models were really hot with their shirts off (or on). it might be shallow of me to say this but i wish i live in the male models changing area. maybe i should change my career and become a fashion assistant right now.
http://defamer.com/hollywood/boys!-boys!-boys!/project-runway-universe-thrown-into-chaos-with-introduction-of-male-models-328147.php
you can find the clip that made me drool here.
http://defamer.com/hollywood/boys!-boys!-boys!/project-runway-universe-thrown-into-chaos-with-introduction-of-male-models-328147.php
you can find the clip that made me drool here.
2007年12月10日 星期一
my xmas wish list
wow, now that i'm reading it again, my last post sounds really angry..i'm considering if i should take it off because people might take it the wrong way. it could come off as egotistic but i really meant it in the nicest, self-cheer-leading way.
Anyway during my recent visits to Borders cafe, i've really come up with my own xmas wish list that i hope to get for myself once i cash my checks, these include:
1. A one year subscription to Newsweek/Times: I hate living in a cave and school really turns you into the most uninformed person in the world. if i still wish to carry a conversation with a regular human being i better read up on the news.
2. A Coach wallet: i normally dont care about the high ended stuff but since my wallet was stolen in June i haven't replaced it with anything (becuase i dont have time) and so now i'm walking around all day with a COIN PURSE that came with my purse and i stuff all the receipts and bills and coins in there. it looks like a white mouse ready to vomit. Really embarrassing these days when i try to pay at the cafeteria and all my coins fall out and my bills look like they are pulled out of a truck driver's back pocket. So yes i need a nice, sensible, affordable coach wallet (which i already decided on the style) to make me look like someone who belongs to the female species again.
3. A book --Atonement. I've been hearing so much about the movie and can't wait til it comes out this weekend. but i've also heard that the book is extremely good and powerful and since the last time i read was in summer (magazines dont count) i realized i can use some literary influence in my life.
4. A one phrase a day French Calendar: i saw this while i was at Borders. it really does sound interesting and helpful for a french-learner. on the cover it says: quels sont vos loisirs? which means what are your interests/leisurements? and it defines the vocab for ya. seeing i've already forgotten 80% of the french i learned it may be really helpful. it also comes in german and italian and chinese. Well, wait til i nail this one first.
Optional:
1. Medical Spanish: will come in handy when i do consultation. it really shouldn't be hard as i only need to know "take X tablet/capsule X times a day for X condition". most medical terms sound exactly the same as Spanish ie. Osteoporosis and diabetes mellitus.
2. Pride and Prejudice Sheet Music for Piano: i know they came out with this because i researched on Amazon. it sounded true to the original score which i thought was beautiful and had a soundtrack of. Now i really want to play it. :)
Wow, so many wishes and so little time and $. gotta budget and see which one goes first. although i do feel that they are all important in different ways, either food for the mind or things that make me look less ghetto.
Anyway during my recent visits to Borders cafe, i've really come up with my own xmas wish list that i hope to get for myself once i cash my checks, these include:
1. A one year subscription to Newsweek/Times: I hate living in a cave and school really turns you into the most uninformed person in the world. if i still wish to carry a conversation with a regular human being i better read up on the news.
2. A Coach wallet: i normally dont care about the high ended stuff but since my wallet was stolen in June i haven't replaced it with anything (becuase i dont have time) and so now i'm walking around all day with a COIN PURSE that came with my purse and i stuff all the receipts and bills and coins in there. it looks like a white mouse ready to vomit. Really embarrassing these days when i try to pay at the cafeteria and all my coins fall out and my bills look like they are pulled out of a truck driver's back pocket. So yes i need a nice, sensible, affordable coach wallet (which i already decided on the style) to make me look like someone who belongs to the female species again.
3. A book --Atonement. I've been hearing so much about the movie and can't wait til it comes out this weekend. but i've also heard that the book is extremely good and powerful and since the last time i read was in summer (magazines dont count) i realized i can use some literary influence in my life.
4. A one phrase a day French Calendar: i saw this while i was at Borders. it really does sound interesting and helpful for a french-learner. on the cover it says: quels sont vos loisirs? which means what are your interests/leisurements? and it defines the vocab for ya. seeing i've already forgotten 80% of the french i learned it may be really helpful. it also comes in german and italian and chinese. Well, wait til i nail this one first.
Optional:
1. Medical Spanish: will come in handy when i do consultation. it really shouldn't be hard as i only need to know "take X tablet/capsule X times a day for X condition". most medical terms sound exactly the same as Spanish ie. Osteoporosis and diabetes mellitus.
2. Pride and Prejudice Sheet Music for Piano: i know they came out with this because i researched on Amazon. it sounded true to the original score which i thought was beautiful and had a soundtrack of. Now i really want to play it. :)
Wow, so many wishes and so little time and $. gotta budget and see which one goes first. although i do feel that they are all important in different ways, either food for the mind or things that make me look less ghetto.
2007年12月4日 星期二
Recap of my night at Busby's
http://www.busbysonline.com/west_details.htm
Last night turned out to be a really interesting experience....I guess my social anxiety always teaches me to expect the worst and when i actually go things aren't half bad. Although the evening did end in a rather interesting way.
My friends and I met up at around 10pm and we headed to Busby's in Santa Monica. Ive never been but according to my friend it's quite a fun place where lots of people hang out. so we got there, and the bar seemed pretty empty. We did not see the bday boy or his entourage, so we decided to sit down for a beer (well, wine for my friends). Aside from the awkwardness that the hosts weren't actually there before us, I actually really liked the bar. There were a lot of things to do and the interior was quite antiquish with the leather button sofas, and chairs next to the fireplace, and brick walls, very homey.
Finally they arrived, and of course the filipino fetish guy showed up first (who i talked to last time and exchanged phone number with). We polited chatted a little, then my friend really seemed to hit it off with him (i can pretty confidently say there's electricity in the air, they both giggle around each other a lot). We followed him to his group and met more people. They were all pretty cool guys. Then for some time i was stranded with this filipino fetish guy (called R for simplicity). So R told me that he's visiting his grandma in Nottingham, England, and i told him i was there for a summer. We had a brief good talk there about the british and that little city which i loved. Just as i thought he was beginning to sound normal he later commented on my friend's filipinoness again (which my friend and I bursted out into laughter for), and that the way i held my beer was kinda defensive and stand-offish, that i should have looked more receptive (a lot of bull). Where did this guy come from? He seriously studies those relationship books WAYYY too much and it was like one bad line after another. I am glad that he'd moved on to my friend and will forever leave my universe.
the evening later became more fun when my other girlfriend and I started playing ping pong against other guys, who were surprisingly all pretty good ping pong players too. haha i totally thought I would dominate this asian sport. but they proved me wrong. then we played some hoops and foosball and pool. At the end of the night I was getting really dizzy and weak and i couldn't figure out why. I didn't drink that much and when i got home i couldn't even finish my shower cuz i was too nauseated. I later found out (duh) that i probably was anemic because i had just gotten my period, and i shouldn't ahve touched anything alcoholic at all. And i only had one bread yesterday because i was rushing to school and didn't buy food. everything in combination caused my sickness. When I woke up this morning the whole room was spinning. But i'm much better now, after being fed and rested.
Last night turned out to be a really interesting experience....I guess my social anxiety always teaches me to expect the worst and when i actually go things aren't half bad. Although the evening did end in a rather interesting way.
My friends and I met up at around 10pm and we headed to Busby's in Santa Monica. Ive never been but according to my friend it's quite a fun place where lots of people hang out. so we got there, and the bar seemed pretty empty. We did not see the bday boy or his entourage, so we decided to sit down for a beer (well, wine for my friends). Aside from the awkwardness that the hosts weren't actually there before us, I actually really liked the bar. There were a lot of things to do and the interior was quite antiquish with the leather button sofas, and chairs next to the fireplace, and brick walls, very homey.
Finally they arrived, and of course the filipino fetish guy showed up first (who i talked to last time and exchanged phone number with). We polited chatted a little, then my friend really seemed to hit it off with him (i can pretty confidently say there's electricity in the air, they both giggle around each other a lot). We followed him to his group and met more people. They were all pretty cool guys. Then for some time i was stranded with this filipino fetish guy (called R for simplicity). So R told me that he's visiting his grandma in Nottingham, England, and i told him i was there for a summer. We had a brief good talk there about the british and that little city which i loved. Just as i thought he was beginning to sound normal he later commented on my friend's filipinoness again (which my friend and I bursted out into laughter for), and that the way i held my beer was kinda defensive and stand-offish, that i should have looked more receptive (a lot of bull). Where did this guy come from? He seriously studies those relationship books WAYYY too much and it was like one bad line after another. I am glad that he'd moved on to my friend and will forever leave my universe.
the evening later became more fun when my other girlfriend and I started playing ping pong against other guys, who were surprisingly all pretty good ping pong players too. haha i totally thought I would dominate this asian sport. but they proved me wrong. then we played some hoops and foosball and pool. At the end of the night I was getting really dizzy and weak and i couldn't figure out why. I didn't drink that much and when i got home i couldn't even finish my shower cuz i was too nauseated. I later found out (duh) that i probably was anemic because i had just gotten my period, and i shouldn't ahve touched anything alcoholic at all. And i only had one bread yesterday because i was rushing to school and didn't buy food. everything in combination caused my sickness. When I woke up this morning the whole room was spinning. But i'm much better now, after being fed and rested.
2007年12月2日 星期日
Social Anxiety again
Oh god, not again.
i know this may sound ridiculous and sad, but yes tomorrow i am sort of forced to go to some guy's bday party and the social anxiety is kicking in already, right now some of the symptoms i have are: cold hands/feet, jitterness, lightheadedness, feeling of nausea and vomiting, panic attack, extreme mood swings.....
I hate to feel this way but it seems like there's really no solution to this problem but simply NOT GO. so the story began as the guy who i met million years ago at this party (the guy who was infatuated with naked filipino arboriginal girls) texted me out of the blue on thanksgiving. I ignored him, just because, i didn't feel like maintaining this friendship before it went even further. And i didn't think he was worthy of my 10 cents of text message charge. Then this past friday, I received another text from him asking if i'd be interested in going to this party on monday. i texted back and asked who it was for and what it was about, and then NOTHING. So i finally heard from my other friend that this dude's friend's having a bday party. So MY FRIEND asked me to come along and because she's very cool and all i decided to accompany her, knowing very well i may run into that dude.
And the thing is, it's not that guy who gives me the social anxiety, somehow after the official start of the holidays i've lost all my balls and drive to hunt myself down a decent boy for the holidays. Somehow i've begun to feel very tired of this whole social adventure that eventually leads to nowhere. I'm sick of the conversation which i may or may not have that does not promote any learning or intellectual excitement. It'll be anther talk with some guy who wishes to find some girl to go home with, or having some guy trying to grab me when he's in a complete buzzed state. But knowing sitting home won't be any better, and will most likely perpetuate the downward cycle i've decided against my wishes and go out. I am just really really tired to having to doll up , just to put myself out there for someone who may never exist. Yes one can argue that i should just look at it as making friends, no hard feelings attached. but as anyone who knows me and knows me well would know, most people irritate me, most GUYS. because if they are young and fun enough they tend to objectify women, and being so uptight and serious i think i rather enjoy a evening in bed watching BJ's Diaries or P&P then letting my skin hang out in extreme cold weathers.
Oh god, if i can cut to the year when i meet THE ONE i'd love to be there right now.
now my friends really are all paired up, i'm feeling pretty bummed right now. :(
i know this may sound ridiculous and sad, but yes tomorrow i am sort of forced to go to some guy's bday party and the social anxiety is kicking in already, right now some of the symptoms i have are: cold hands/feet, jitterness, lightheadedness, feeling of nausea and vomiting, panic attack, extreme mood swings.....
I hate to feel this way but it seems like there's really no solution to this problem but simply NOT GO. so the story began as the guy who i met million years ago at this party (the guy who was infatuated with naked filipino arboriginal girls) texted me out of the blue on thanksgiving. I ignored him, just because, i didn't feel like maintaining this friendship before it went even further. And i didn't think he was worthy of my 10 cents of text message charge. Then this past friday, I received another text from him asking if i'd be interested in going to this party on monday. i texted back and asked who it was for and what it was about, and then NOTHING. So i finally heard from my other friend that this dude's friend's having a bday party. So MY FRIEND asked me to come along and because she's very cool and all i decided to accompany her, knowing very well i may run into that dude.
And the thing is, it's not that guy who gives me the social anxiety, somehow after the official start of the holidays i've lost all my balls and drive to hunt myself down a decent boy for the holidays. Somehow i've begun to feel very tired of this whole social adventure that eventually leads to nowhere. I'm sick of the conversation which i may or may not have that does not promote any learning or intellectual excitement. It'll be anther talk with some guy who wishes to find some girl to go home with, or having some guy trying to grab me when he's in a complete buzzed state. But knowing sitting home won't be any better, and will most likely perpetuate the downward cycle i've decided against my wishes and go out. I am just really really tired to having to doll up , just to put myself out there for someone who may never exist. Yes one can argue that i should just look at it as making friends, no hard feelings attached. but as anyone who knows me and knows me well would know, most people irritate me, most GUYS. because if they are young and fun enough they tend to objectify women, and being so uptight and serious i think i rather enjoy a evening in bed watching BJ's Diaries or P&P then letting my skin hang out in extreme cold weathers.
Oh god, if i can cut to the year when i meet THE ONE i'd love to be there right now.
now my friends really are all paired up, i'm feeling pretty bummed right now. :(
2007年12月1日 星期六
how do you know
how do you know you've been single for too long?
(this post would sound much better written in Chinese but at 135am i neither have the time nor the energy to do so...)
Anyway i had this realization today when i was at a holiday party. We were playing games and one of them was passing oranges with your neck (or any body part but your hands). So i was the first person to go in my team (thank god). You wouldn't think it was that hard because i was wearing a v-neck so my neck was exposed and i was passing it to a girl. but when the game started i seriously had the hardest time accomplishing this simple, simple task. As soon as my friend approached me with her hair rubbing on my chest (or neck) i got so ticklish i backed away or started squirming uncomfortably. and then the orange dropped. it was the worst feeling in the world because you knew your team depended on you but you jsut couldn't help feeling awkward as ass when someone's head was nestled in your chest (i believe i was blushing from it too). I later described it to kate that it was an experience like being neck/chest-raped. You couldn't fully pull yourself away because you still need to pass the orange and you need to stop the orange from falling by sticking your boobs up, but having someone's head there......god...what a nightmare. this is how you know you've been single for too long when you can't stand another person (male or female) having physical contact with your body. it was awkward as ass, may i say.
the only upside of the holiday party was that, i got some really cute presents. oh and we had panda express cater the event. :) (and i only liked their orange chicken).
(this post would sound much better written in Chinese but at 135am i neither have the time nor the energy to do so...)
Anyway i had this realization today when i was at a holiday party. We were playing games and one of them was passing oranges with your neck (or any body part but your hands). So i was the first person to go in my team (thank god). You wouldn't think it was that hard because i was wearing a v-neck so my neck was exposed and i was passing it to a girl. but when the game started i seriously had the hardest time accomplishing this simple, simple task. As soon as my friend approached me with her hair rubbing on my chest (or neck) i got so ticklish i backed away or started squirming uncomfortably. and then the orange dropped. it was the worst feeling in the world because you knew your team depended on you but you jsut couldn't help feeling awkward as ass when someone's head was nestled in your chest (i believe i was blushing from it too). I later described it to kate that it was an experience like being neck/chest-raped. You couldn't fully pull yourself away because you still need to pass the orange and you need to stop the orange from falling by sticking your boobs up, but having someone's head there......god...what a nightmare. this is how you know you've been single for too long when you can't stand another person (male or female) having physical contact with your body. it was awkward as ass, may i say.
the only upside of the holiday party was that, i got some really cute presents. oh and we had panda express cater the event. :) (and i only liked their orange chicken).
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