today is the last saturday before the official arrival of Halloween, and I seem to be the only person on early who is staying in and not dressed up to a party or an amusement park of some sort.
i suppose it makes me feel slightly better knowing that i finally have a chance to put a few things down that i want to remind myself--- things i intend to accomplish within the next couple of months, or years:
- piano lessons: i've checked out a few quality schools around the area (and there's actually a lot!) so as soon as i'm done with the stupid finals/midterms i will be signing up for sure.
- french lessons: the other day i was talking about my days in Paris with K and i realized how little i remember about everything i've learned. I can read and understand okay but all the verbe conjugations have gone out the window. that's really sad seeing how much i've spent on my french education for the past 2 years....
- explore more nightlife places in/around LA, and i dont mean only clubs: as stated before, not a huge fan of clubbing. I only go for the decor. they tend to look really posh and pretty and you pretty much can sit there with some girlfriends drink yummy cosmos. i'm sure i'll regret not meeting guys when i'm older. but for now NOT getting groped seems like a pretty good idea to me. The thing is there are so many places to explore in LA. I read about this bar where you pay $10 for a martini and a manicure! wouldnt' that be fun? well to me anyway...;)
- go on a speed dating event: no i'm not doing this because i am desperate. just because i've always been curious about it. it always looks so fun in movies (ie. the 40 year old virgin, Hitch.....you get the picture). even if people are lame (or i'm one of them) it can still be fun just meeting people.
- go on a internatioal medical team: although expensive, and i wonder if it's really worth PAYING to volunteer in third world countries, it can actually be a good experience. I have always wanted to help out, and i know my parents/friends won't liek the idea and that it is stil pretty dangerous considering the many kinds of parasites in food/water/enviornment that can intoxicate me.
- go to more concerts in town: i had the pleasure to visit walt disney concert hall a couple weeks ago for Beethoven's Symphonie No.7. And it turned out to be a wonderful experience. which makes me wonder why i did not do it more often.
- tell those people who bother me to go to hell: i'm already as busy and stressed out as i ever can be in my life. I've certainly pushed myself more than i have my whole entire life since i started school (never thought it was possible to pull a 12-14 hr day AND study after i came home and managed to wake up again at 530am. but that's what i've been doing).
- NOT be bothered by the fact that i may be the last single person among my friends/family of equal age. Yes it's true my guardian (who likes to show off)'s 2nd daughter who is a nurse anesthesiologist is getting married to a lawyer. and that the majority of my friends or people i know are either dating, engaged, married, or gave birth. And i'm constantly gettign questions like why i haven't met anyway seeing i go to the same school/campus as the rest of the health professions (ie. doctors, physical therapists...) it always sounds so sad when i try to defend myself, because it has worked out for most people by being in close proximity to MD's. I have had to keep telling myself, "i'm not hideous, i'm not hideous, i'm not hideous.." or when truely heinous couples make out i think "that is true love." It doesn't change teh fact that i am still looked at as the pitiful one. so NO I CAN'T BE BOTHERED!
- work out everyother day or more: i've let myself go for a while and now i'm really feeling disgusting. i need to get back to my workout regimen like in college and be active again. just because i'm not seeing anyone doesn't mean i can look like a lard. there are dresses i would like to fit in, one day.
- is there more?
2007年10月27日 星期六
2007年10月22日 星期一
the bump on my leg and some more
it all began last week on monday when i suddenly felt this bug bite on my leg. AT first i didnt' pay much attention to it cuz it just felt like mosquito bite. however after i took a shower at night it started to hurt a lot. and by the next day it's developed into this gigantic monster of a bump on my leg which looked really scary. However due to my 12-hr days almost every day i really couldn't find time to see the doc right away. so one day passed i didn't do anything and by wedesday it's even bigger and more painful than ever. It was so debilitatin that when i get out of my bed/chair i would feel this sharp pain in the bump. I had to make an appointment with the doctor despite my crazy schedule.
So the only doctor available then was this male doctor...unfortunately. I'm not one who cares about the gender of the doctor i see unless it's something embarrassing or ob/gyn. But this bump happens to locate sort of high on my thigh which means i have to take off my pants to show them..so i was a bit more concerned. But the doctor was nice. he told me graduated from ucsd med a couple years back and seemed genuiinely concerned about my situation. he drew a line and measured the dimension of my bump and it was 7cm by 7cm then. gave me a shot and put me on antibiotics and told me to come back friday.
So friday i went back. the bump got worse due to my extended time of standing throughout the week (poor me). And he measured it again it was 10 by 11....seriously the whole thing looked like it was going to eat up my thigh. it looked like it could have spreaded around my whole thigh if it wanted. but according to him it was less red and inflammed. so i was scheduled to come back again. however this time he passed me on to another doctor because he wouldn't be there on monday. he brought another male doctor in before i could put my pants back on. Although i did wear a gown i still felt pretty exposed having two men around my age examing my thigh and did i mentin the swelling is pretty high up??? :P :P embarrassing. The sad part is that the 2nd doctor is actually really good looking so it made me feel even more self-concious abou it.
So today i returned for the follow-up by the hot doc. he couldn't find the gown at first and gave me something that looked more like a large piece of tissue. i didnt' want to be a pain so although i could tell it wasn't a gown i tried to use it to cover up my legs as much as i could. so when he returned to the room i told him about the "gown' he had given me wasn't actually a gown. All of a sudden he became really flustered (prolly because i seemed like i was sitting there butt naked with a piece of tissue on my lap) and pulled the curtain shut again and started looking frantically for the gown and even knocked over the trash can. :-/ finally when we got out of hte embarrassing situation he diagnosed me and said it was getting much better (whew). and he was so nice that he put on a band-aid for me (haha). i told him i was so worried that they would have to cut the abscess open and he said 'yeah me too". :? he told me to come back for a follow up but he had forgotten about his schedule and said some cuss words and apologized for it.
so anyway.... i wonder if it was all in my imagination that the good looking doctor was flustered and nervous around me. but i dont want to flatter myself. He's wayyy too good looking and smart and nice to be like that. so i thought it must be all in my head.
So the only doctor available then was this male doctor...unfortunately. I'm not one who cares about the gender of the doctor i see unless it's something embarrassing or ob/gyn. But this bump happens to locate sort of high on my thigh which means i have to take off my pants to show them..so i was a bit more concerned. But the doctor was nice. he told me graduated from ucsd med a couple years back and seemed genuiinely concerned about my situation. he drew a line and measured the dimension of my bump and it was 7cm by 7cm then. gave me a shot and put me on antibiotics and told me to come back friday.
So friday i went back. the bump got worse due to my extended time of standing throughout the week (poor me). And he measured it again it was 10 by 11....seriously the whole thing looked like it was going to eat up my thigh. it looked like it could have spreaded around my whole thigh if it wanted. but according to him it was less red and inflammed. so i was scheduled to come back again. however this time he passed me on to another doctor because he wouldn't be there on monday. he brought another male doctor in before i could put my pants back on. Although i did wear a gown i still felt pretty exposed having two men around my age examing my thigh and did i mentin the swelling is pretty high up??? :P :P embarrassing. The sad part is that the 2nd doctor is actually really good looking so it made me feel even more self-concious abou it.
So today i returned for the follow-up by the hot doc. he couldn't find the gown at first and gave me something that looked more like a large piece of tissue. i didnt' want to be a pain so although i could tell it wasn't a gown i tried to use it to cover up my legs as much as i could. so when he returned to the room i told him about the "gown' he had given me wasn't actually a gown. All of a sudden he became really flustered (prolly because i seemed like i was sitting there butt naked with a piece of tissue on my lap) and pulled the curtain shut again and started looking frantically for the gown and even knocked over the trash can. :-/ finally when we got out of hte embarrassing situation he diagnosed me and said it was getting much better (whew). and he was so nice that he put on a band-aid for me (haha). i told him i was so worried that they would have to cut the abscess open and he said 'yeah me too". :? he told me to come back for a follow up but he had forgotten about his schedule and said some cuss words and apologized for it.
so anyway.... i wonder if it was all in my imagination that the good looking doctor was flustered and nervous around me. but i dont want to flatter myself. He's wayyy too good looking and smart and nice to be like that. so i thought it must be all in my head.
2007年10月14日 星期日
2nd try
ok that was Gaspard Ulliel, who you see in Hannibal Hector and A Very Long Engagement as well as Paris Je t'aime.
and here are some movies i wish i can see right now. maybe if i finish studying tonight i'll run out and rent these:
Chansons d'amour
Dans Paris
heheeh i will post my reviews once i get a chance to watch them! I hate it that it's so difficult to see european movies in the States! the closest independent theater from my house doesn't have that many selections and i'm always busy during the annual french film festival. :(
and here are some movies i wish i can see right now. maybe if i finish studying tonight i'll run out and rent these:
Chansons d'amour
Dans Paris
heheeh i will post my reviews once i get a chance to watch them! I hate it that it's so difficult to see european movies in the States! the closest independent theater from my house doesn't have that many selections and i'm always busy during the annual french film festival. :(
2007年10月13日 星期六
an interesting night and some thoughts
yesterday, was truely very special.
In general, i don't like clubbing (this has already been established). I don't like to dress up feeling like i have to impress someone tonight. I don't have the need to be 'hot'. I just need to be pleasant to look at for myself. So i only go clubbing once in a blue moon, and usually i stick with girlfriends because there have been unpleasant experiences with grabby guys. And the thing is, i dont ever get drunk, so i don't really know what it feels like to 'loosen up', and i dont know if i really want to, frankly, if there are nasty guys around. But recently I've been doing it more. I think within the past 6 mon i've gone more than i have my entire college years.
So why have I been doing it more? well, first of all , they can be fun with girlfriends, just blowing off steam and having a good time. and secondly, peer pressure. But recently a third factor has been added. I have recognized that if i EVER want to end up with someone, i have to get out more. So occasionally i push myself to go. just to check out the scene, feel the water, so i'm not forever out of touch with the rest of the dating world. (although i already am).
Yesterday was the "Roofless Party" thrown by the School of Medicine here at SC. but they also invited other schools like pharm, law, business, dental, and such. So it was a pretty big thing...and i decided to push myself one last time this semester..and went with a couple gf's who were also curious to check it out. They were super nice and fun girls, so i had no problem going with them. We met up at one of their apts, had a couple glasses of champagn and left for the party, when it started raining.
We got to the party okay, it really was a huge event, it was hard just to walk pass people and get drinks. I really thought i spent most of the time waiting to get drinks, and standing in line for the bathroom. The place is called Republic, has a really nice decor, good drinks, and good services. we saw some friends in there and had fun chatting and just hanging out. However since im usually not that outgoing with strangers esp guys, i didn't start talking to random guys and frankly, i think the guys should do the job (i'm old fashioned). So one of my gf's is already light-headed after 1/5 of a drink, and she kept on a drinking. before we knew it, we were dancing and she went off with some guy. i was trying to dance with the other girl when this guy out of no where tried to dance with me from behind...REPULSIVE! that's why i dont enjoy dancing. and i hate it when people grab my waist because i tend of have more meat there and it's just pretty offensive in general. but my gfs all started dancing with other people and i didnt' want to be such a bore, so i was dancing with that guy for a little bit. (even writing this i'm kinda sick to my stomach). he was pulling me really close and i really didn't want to look at his face because it's AWKWARD. finally i had to becuse he started facing me. he's not horrible looking but i just wasn't attracted (or to sleazy guy in the club in that matter). we started talking and he said he was here with a friend who goes to b-school (SO NOT EVEN A MED STUDENT I WAS DANCING WITH! UGH) he was nice about it when i admitted i wasn't good at dancing and he started twirling me like ball room dancing. it was funny and kinda nice. in the end i was finally able to make up excuse and leave...but that was 3 or 4 songs later (just felt like a lifetime).
in the meantime, i kept mouthing for my gf to come help me, pull me away, so i wouldn't have to put up with this unpleasantness. and then the unfortunate thing was that people who i was acquaintances with spotted me and though i was all freaking with this guy...even people from my class! GOSH! i must be sending off the wrong msgs....:( i was told later by my friends that someone from our class was around us the whole time and staring at us!!! (great). at one point when i turned around my friend was already making out with this other guy...and i was trying to turn AWAY from the dude i was dancing with so he could only get my hair but ewwww ...my hair. :( .....i'm still sad typing this.
finally we left the bar..it was pouring outside. and we were having trouble finding our car...aside from being drenched in the rain...and shoes wet from the stream running down the street, when some bum grabbed my butt!!! i turned around and he started running away...me and my friend freaked out and started the opposite direction. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! why are all the freaks coming at me all the time! i was really really mad for the rest of the evening because of that. and when we finally found our cars, there were these 3 guys, one of them mix japanese and white, stopping us and asking us our ethnicities, but we just left.
so in conclusion, i'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. I keep telling myself that i need to just have faith. but faith itself isnt' enough. i wanted to physically break out of my shell and meet people. And during the night it was one bad thing after another. it was still fun with the girls...but anyhthing dealing with guy +club just turned into disaster. i dont know how i can keep having faith when i'm so frustrated everytime i came home. i dont actually crave going out. the only opposite sex i want to dance with at a club is my BF and not some strange dude who doesn't respect women. and now my reputation.... *sigh*.
he won't just fall into my lap.
In general, i don't like clubbing (this has already been established). I don't like to dress up feeling like i have to impress someone tonight. I don't have the need to be 'hot'. I just need to be pleasant to look at for myself. So i only go clubbing once in a blue moon, and usually i stick with girlfriends because there have been unpleasant experiences with grabby guys. And the thing is, i dont ever get drunk, so i don't really know what it feels like to 'loosen up', and i dont know if i really want to, frankly, if there are nasty guys around. But recently I've been doing it more. I think within the past 6 mon i've gone more than i have my entire college years.
So why have I been doing it more? well, first of all , they can be fun with girlfriends, just blowing off steam and having a good time. and secondly, peer pressure. But recently a third factor has been added. I have recognized that if i EVER want to end up with someone, i have to get out more. So occasionally i push myself to go. just to check out the scene, feel the water, so i'm not forever out of touch with the rest of the dating world. (although i already am).
Yesterday was the "Roofless Party" thrown by the School of Medicine here at SC. but they also invited other schools like pharm, law, business, dental, and such. So it was a pretty big thing...and i decided to push myself one last time this semester..and went with a couple gf's who were also curious to check it out. They were super nice and fun girls, so i had no problem going with them. We met up at one of their apts, had a couple glasses of champagn and left for the party, when it started raining.
We got to the party okay, it really was a huge event, it was hard just to walk pass people and get drinks. I really thought i spent most of the time waiting to get drinks, and standing in line for the bathroom. The place is called Republic, has a really nice decor, good drinks, and good services. we saw some friends in there and had fun chatting and just hanging out. However since im usually not that outgoing with strangers esp guys, i didn't start talking to random guys and frankly, i think the guys should do the job (i'm old fashioned). So one of my gf's is already light-headed after 1/5 of a drink, and she kept on a drinking. before we knew it, we were dancing and she went off with some guy. i was trying to dance with the other girl when this guy out of no where tried to dance with me from behind...REPULSIVE! that's why i dont enjoy dancing. and i hate it when people grab my waist because i tend of have more meat there and it's just pretty offensive in general. but my gfs all started dancing with other people and i didnt' want to be such a bore, so i was dancing with that guy for a little bit. (even writing this i'm kinda sick to my stomach). he was pulling me really close and i really didn't want to look at his face because it's AWKWARD. finally i had to becuse he started facing me. he's not horrible looking but i just wasn't attracted (or to sleazy guy in the club in that matter). we started talking and he said he was here with a friend who goes to b-school (SO NOT EVEN A MED STUDENT I WAS DANCING WITH! UGH) he was nice about it when i admitted i wasn't good at dancing and he started twirling me like ball room dancing. it was funny and kinda nice. in the end i was finally able to make up excuse and leave...but that was 3 or 4 songs later (just felt like a lifetime).
in the meantime, i kept mouthing for my gf to come help me, pull me away, so i wouldn't have to put up with this unpleasantness. and then the unfortunate thing was that people who i was acquaintances with spotted me and though i was all freaking with this guy...even people from my class! GOSH! i must be sending off the wrong msgs....:( i was told later by my friends that someone from our class was around us the whole time and staring at us!!! (great). at one point when i turned around my friend was already making out with this other guy...and i was trying to turn AWAY from the dude i was dancing with so he could only get my hair but ewwww ...my hair. :( .....i'm still sad typing this.
finally we left the bar..it was pouring outside. and we were having trouble finding our car...aside from being drenched in the rain...and shoes wet from the stream running down the street, when some bum grabbed my butt!!! i turned around and he started running away...me and my friend freaked out and started the opposite direction. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! why are all the freaks coming at me all the time! i was really really mad for the rest of the evening because of that. and when we finally found our cars, there were these 3 guys, one of them mix japanese and white, stopping us and asking us our ethnicities, but we just left.
so in conclusion, i'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. I keep telling myself that i need to just have faith. but faith itself isnt' enough. i wanted to physically break out of my shell and meet people. And during the night it was one bad thing after another. it was still fun with the girls...but anyhthing dealing with guy +club just turned into disaster. i dont know how i can keep having faith when i'm so frustrated everytime i came home. i dont actually crave going out. the only opposite sex i want to dance with at a club is my BF and not some strange dude who doesn't respect women. and now my reputation.... *sigh*.
he won't just fall into my lap.
2007年10月3日 星期三
不敢相信的好運氣 (又: 玉木宏之目擊)
該從那裡開始呢 應該是八月賭城的的回途吧 因為工作的關係 必須到賭城後的第二天自己從賭城搭特快巴士回LA 好在家裡帶去的中文報那天有在報導玉木宏的消息 就把那張帶著來安慰自己的不幸 報導中寫說玉木宏會在十月來美為他演的midnight eagle 首映開場 我還和豆說我會比她先看到玉木宏本人 開玩笑而已啦! 過了幾個禮拜我在網上搜尋的時候 得知是在十月二日 地點未定 而且是只開放給日本的特殊邀請的觀眾 就死了這條心了
上個禮拜五 讀書到一半時 沒事又上網逛了逛 結果居然被我找到一個網站在給讀者票的 只要rsvp就可以 我想說不仿一試 結果一直到禮拜一下午都沒回音 覺得大概是假的吧
結果它们回了我email說我在guestlist上了 地點是hollywood Egyptian Theater 離我家有一段距離 而且我隔天六點半就要到醫院工作 還有一個期中考 但是想想我一輩子再也不會有機會和玉木宏這麼接近 就算我飛到日本也一樣 咬著牙就決定去了結果禮拜二在漫長的課後 開回家換了衣服就衝到好萊烏 和被我抓去的朋友吃了個點心後就開始排隊 等著領票
一場子的人都是日本媒體或影迷 還有巴士載日本人來 全場大概也只有我们是非日本妹的玉木迷 到的check in table時 我们居然是在vip guestlist上!!!有人過來帶我们走紅地毯 和到特殊的區域吧台 結果我们就開始大吃大喝o'd'oeuvres 跟白酒
等了差不多一個鐘頭 Hero 美國影集中的日本演員出現了 本人超好的 居然就在我面前 之後別的演員也陸續來到 竹內結子 本人超美超可愛超優雅 我看過她的日劇可本人就是不一樣 之後.........玉木宏出現了 穿著西裝配七分褲 整個人跟日劇一樣帥 而且很高 人也很好 大家都在尖叫 我也衝出去想跟他握手 結果他握阿握的就被帶走了 重點是........我有摸到他手的邊邊 手超軟的!!!!!!!!!!!>___<
我不死心的看了一會才終於進場 選了前面的走道位 結果他進場介紹片子時從我身旁走過 之後我就一直偷偷盯著他看 整個人超帥 超千秋的!!! <3 <3 最後因為我和我朋友今天都有工作和需要早起 在電影開始後就偷偷離開 還看到演員们在外面接受訪問 玉木宏在等時還跟我眼對眼很多次 一定是在想那來的非日籍瘋狂影迷 可我一和他眼對眼就看開假裝沒事 真的是會不好意思 人家從來沒追過星啦啦啦啦 還是外國的 超緊張的 -__-.....
總之 雖然回到家睡了幾小時就又爬起來去考試了 還是覺得超值得 這應該是我二十幾年來最好運的一次 好在我有去 不然真的會遺憾終生 想想整件事真的很好運 那張報紙 那個網站 差一點 昨天的事就不會發生 真的真的讓我覺得很幸福! 希望我人生中有更多的good sign!!! (包括慕尼黑結婚的預告 ;) )
p.s. 明天再po我偷拍的照片 都不能拿出來正大光明的拍超氣！ 拍不太到玉木宏 哭哭......
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