mental stress, already

I just finished corresponding with a friend via email and found out about the happenings from her rotation. and immediately the stress came back. it's only been 2 days after i returned from prague and right away i feel like i'm behind already. this is bad. i'm feeling GUILTY about taking a break.

Basically i was updated about her rotation. she's taking a particularly challenging one that requires a lot of hours but she's also learning a lot. but her preceptor was nice enough to take them out to celebrate the midpoint of her rotation. and the attending physician took the whole team out to dinner. yes i know, none of this ever happened to me.
I'm feeling anxious and sort of sad at the same time. like i know i wont be having any more hospital rotations until next year. and during this time i will be forgetting everythign i've learned thusfar and will look bad during my interview. and regarding the social aspect, i was never treated liek a part of the team during my hospital rotation. i was never directly talked to, neither was i invited to any of their mini lectures. my friend's attending asked her to listen to the pt's chest with the stethoscope and also invited her to coffee with the rest of the team. my other friends would go to dim-sum or Yardhouse with their preceptors and that never happened to me either.

I'm looking at the Prague city guide that is sitting on my desk right now and it all feels so far, far away.