first one after the new rotation!

Whew ok! i'm gonna use the next....8 min to write about my latest rotation and why i've been disappearing. simple: CRAZINESS AT WORK!

So my rotation is at Baxter. And i have NO experience working in the industry before. and yes, i was extremely paranoid and anxious on my first day (yesterday). I literally was sweating bullets. Everything was different. I had my cubicle (huge) and i was assigned to a team who's in charge of their immunoglobulins. so BIG shoes to fill. I of course, know nothing about the industry terms and jargons. And my reasons for wanting to work in the industry at this moment sounded extremely weak. i couldn't even really defend it, in front of my preceptor. She's very assertive, very strong and knows what she wants and what she needs and what her goals are. she's only been working with them for 5 years post pharm d graduation and already she is the assistent director. So yes, i'm realizing that i will have to bust my ass to try to impress her. It doesn't help that everyone on my team (who are all very nice, btw) are EXTREMELY bright. so much that i seem very very clueless about what i know as a student who's trying her foot in industry.

So far i think i get along with everyone. i spend most of my time reading up on a 6 inch thick binder about everything you can think of about our products and LOTS and LOTS of immunology review and CE. My tailbone literally hurts from sitting and reading too much. I guess that could be one aspect of industry that can be bothersome. THAT and a lot of the strategics talk and logistics. I still dont know if i would be a good fit.

On the other hand, i must say this is the BEST work environment i've worked in in a while. I have my own cubicle that is stocked with everything. anything i need, just ask. the kitchen is great and the coffee machine is awesome. it's one of those you can stick in your individual pouch and out pours your coffee. and lots and lots of tea and coffee selections. and we are situated minutes away from a huge shopping center and i get to take nice relaxing lunch breaks under the sun. people are all very industry-like. if you know what i mean. everybody is chill, and we all get a long (well, on the surface anyway). but really. the people are extremely cool to work with. It's hard to believe that i've worked 3 year in retail in that tiny space filled with bottles and just filled and filled and it felt almost claustrophobic. and i was seeing my pharmacists who never took real lunch breaks and that was how i picture all pharmacists to be. Everybody in the company gets to travel. A LOT. it's for business but still the thought of going to Vienna or Sao Paolo for a conference sounds like this job is right up my alley.

But it's also not like the hospital in a way you only deal with ONE drug and you have to think like a business person. what sells, what can we do to make it sell, who do we need to talk to....am i ready for that? am i BUILT for that? lots of unanswered questions that need to be answered right now.

and i miss the spontaneity. yes, when you take a more direct role doing clinical pharmacy alongside physicians and nurses and patients. it can be frustrating at times, as i learned from my medicine rotation. but here you are making a difference, but indirectly and you DONT konw if your product is actually better. you kind of have to convince people that it is. i hope i'm making sense so far.

anyway, from what i've learned so far, it's gonna be HARD to break into industry, as i was told by my preceptor who was VERY good when she was a student and interviewed everywhere.

i need more positive messages in my life. :/