Post Chicago..and b-school

I promise i will update my blog with new pictures from my trip....as soon as i'm done with my impending midterm and final...:*(

a part of me still want to be in the spring break mode, but the reality doesn't allow it. So I'm sitting here, ditching class (once again) for the impending midterm tomorrow. I'm likely to do the same next week, for the final which will also probably kick my ass. my class is pretty cut-throat. Our average compared to last year's class is always 20% higher. no wonder this is doing wonders for my self-esteem. it just doesn't seem possible for me to retain all the information in my brain. I'm sure if i study day and night eventually i will. but i think my hair is falling out enough as is.

So the other day i was whining to my friend about the economy and how i'm caught in an awkward situation. seeing that my real passion isn't so much the clinical side of pharmacy, or the retail side of it. but industry is hard to break in. So she was suggesting that i try out b-school. It's an interesting suggestion and i have put some thought into since that day. But it only stresses me out even more. it means more applications, more recommendation letters to ask for, and more school rankings to consider. I also feel kind of inadequate about my lack of experience. Although some of the summer internships i was shooting for, aside for R&D, require that you be a mba candidate. and i was lacking it at the time and therefore didn't qualify. But is it worth it? is it going to be worthy of the investment i put in? is it worth another 2 years of my life? Afterall, i will be hitting 30 at that point, so i will have spent most of my 20 something years pursuing for various degrees. And if i do end up with jobs that are very well-compensated, is it going to further put me in the unfavorable category of successful women without a man because she's too intimidating and has wayy too many degrees? these are all factors to consider, inevitably.

A part of me do feel like that i'm so over LA. I am ready to pick up and move to a different city for work/job/graduate studies. i just feel very powerless over the whole situation, where i am going to be, where i want to be, and what i will be doing within the next 5 years. I wish that there's some kind of plan or guidance i can follow, and that i don't have to do it alone.