What to do

Yes...it is a known fact that I can't update my blog when under extreme stress/worries.

A few words since my last update. I have received calls. I have flown over and returned from the east coast from interviews with two companies I applied for. I spent 2 whole days interviewing with them (from 830 to 330) and flying back and forth and I was so tired and drained from the trip to the east coast (and the fact that I have to make up the days I missed from rotation).

Anyway, I am right on the brink of everything. I am trying to write thank you cards to the people I interviewed with. But I am completely getting cold feet. Am I ready to move? More and more i'm flip flopping everyday about the decision. I am all of a sudden having this great fear from being on the other side of the country and away from all my family. I know no one on that side of the continent and no family at all. This typically did not bother me. but all of a sudden it's so debilitating. I feel that I am getting myself into it more by investing so much time into it. I am putting on a happy face while a part of me is getting really, really tired of being so far away from my family and people who i care for and love. I dont know if i am into the being alone in a small town (not nyc) just so i can get experiences to come home. I want to be surrounded by people who can give me a boost in morale when I am down after work, and not over Skype or the phone.

I think i am just really, really homesick and really scared to move far far away from everyone I know. like the big move i made when I was 15 to the US. I guess old memories dont die easy.