and if anybody wants to know...there's probably no aspect of meeting someone here. why? same as everywhere else. married, married and the ones who aren't you probably dont want to date them (for now anyway).
and we are not really allowed to wonder around the building or into other cubicles. so i talk to the same 6 people on my team and some who sit close to me.
:-/
2009年9月30日 星期三
first one after the new rotation!
Whew ok! i'm gonna use the next....8 min to write about my latest rotation and why i've been disappearing. simple: CRAZINESS AT WORK!
So my rotation is at Baxter. And i have NO experience working in the industry before. and yes, i was extremely paranoid and anxious on my first day (yesterday). I literally was sweating bullets. Everything was different. I had my cubicle (huge) and i was assigned to a team who's in charge of their immunoglobulins. so BIG shoes to fill. I of course, know nothing about the industry terms and jargons. And my reasons for wanting to work in the industry at this moment sounded extremely weak. i couldn't even really defend it, in front of my preceptor. She's very assertive, very strong and knows what she wants and what she needs and what her goals are. she's only been working with them for 5 years post pharm d graduation and already she is the assistent director. So yes, i'm realizing that i will have to bust my ass to try to impress her. It doesn't help that everyone on my team (who are all very nice, btw) are EXTREMELY bright. so much that i seem very very clueless about what i know as a student who's trying her foot in industry.
So far i think i get along with everyone. i spend most of my time reading up on a 6 inch thick binder about everything you can think of about our products and LOTS and LOTS of immunology review and CE. My tailbone literally hurts from sitting and reading too much. I guess that could be one aspect of industry that can be bothersome. THAT and a lot of the strategics talk and logistics. I still dont know if i would be a good fit.
On the other hand, i must say this is the BEST work environment i've worked in in a while. I have my own cubicle that is stocked with everything. anything i need, just ask. the kitchen is great and the coffee machine is awesome. it's one of those you can stick in your individual pouch and out pours your coffee. and lots and lots of tea and coffee selections. and we are situated minutes away from a huge shopping center and i get to take nice relaxing lunch breaks under the sun. people are all very industry-like. if you know what i mean. everybody is chill, and we all get a long (well, on the surface anyway). but really. the people are extremely cool to work with. It's hard to believe that i've worked 3 year in retail in that tiny space filled with bottles and just filled and filled and it felt almost claustrophobic. and i was seeing my pharmacists who never took real lunch breaks and that was how i picture all pharmacists to be. Everybody in the company gets to travel. A LOT. it's for business but still the thought of going to Vienna or Sao Paolo for a conference sounds like this job is right up my alley.
But it's also not like the hospital in a way you only deal with ONE drug and you have to think like a business person. what sells, what can we do to make it sell, who do we need to talk to....am i ready for that? am i BUILT for that? lots of unanswered questions that need to be answered right now.
and i miss the spontaneity. yes, when you take a more direct role doing clinical pharmacy alongside physicians and nurses and patients. it can be frustrating at times, as i learned from my medicine rotation. but here you are making a difference, but indirectly and you DONT konw if your product is actually better. you kind of have to convince people that it is. i hope i'm making sense so far.
anyway, from what i've learned so far, it's gonna be HARD to break into industry, as i was told by my preceptor who was VERY good when she was a student and interviewed everywhere.
i need more positive messages in my life. :/
So my rotation is at Baxter. And i have NO experience working in the industry before. and yes, i was extremely paranoid and anxious on my first day (yesterday). I literally was sweating bullets. Everything was different. I had my cubicle (huge) and i was assigned to a team who's in charge of their immunoglobulins. so BIG shoes to fill. I of course, know nothing about the industry terms and jargons. And my reasons for wanting to work in the industry at this moment sounded extremely weak. i couldn't even really defend it, in front of my preceptor. She's very assertive, very strong and knows what she wants and what she needs and what her goals are. she's only been working with them for 5 years post pharm d graduation and already she is the assistent director. So yes, i'm realizing that i will have to bust my ass to try to impress her. It doesn't help that everyone on my team (who are all very nice, btw) are EXTREMELY bright. so much that i seem very very clueless about what i know as a student who's trying her foot in industry.
So far i think i get along with everyone. i spend most of my time reading up on a 6 inch thick binder about everything you can think of about our products and LOTS and LOTS of immunology review and CE. My tailbone literally hurts from sitting and reading too much. I guess that could be one aspect of industry that can be bothersome. THAT and a lot of the strategics talk and logistics. I still dont know if i would be a good fit.
On the other hand, i must say this is the BEST work environment i've worked in in a while. I have my own cubicle that is stocked with everything. anything i need, just ask. the kitchen is great and the coffee machine is awesome. it's one of those you can stick in your individual pouch and out pours your coffee. and lots and lots of tea and coffee selections. and we are situated minutes away from a huge shopping center and i get to take nice relaxing lunch breaks under the sun. people are all very industry-like. if you know what i mean. everybody is chill, and we all get a long (well, on the surface anyway). but really. the people are extremely cool to work with. It's hard to believe that i've worked 3 year in retail in that tiny space filled with bottles and just filled and filled and it felt almost claustrophobic. and i was seeing my pharmacists who never took real lunch breaks and that was how i picture all pharmacists to be. Everybody in the company gets to travel. A LOT. it's for business but still the thought of going to Vienna or Sao Paolo for a conference sounds like this job is right up my alley.
But it's also not like the hospital in a way you only deal with ONE drug and you have to think like a business person. what sells, what can we do to make it sell, who do we need to talk to....am i ready for that? am i BUILT for that? lots of unanswered questions that need to be answered right now.
and i miss the spontaneity. yes, when you take a more direct role doing clinical pharmacy alongside physicians and nurses and patients. it can be frustrating at times, as i learned from my medicine rotation. but here you are making a difference, but indirectly and you DONT konw if your product is actually better. you kind of have to convince people that it is. i hope i'm making sense so far.
anyway, from what i've learned so far, it's gonna be HARD to break into industry, as i was told by my preceptor who was VERY good when she was a student and interviewed everywhere.
i need more positive messages in my life. :/
2009年9月28日 星期一
tomorrow is a new day....
Finally after 7 weeks of doing a whole lot of nothing (in terms of studying and getting ready for the board) then finally getting sick, I am ready for the first day of "work" tomorrow. Over the weekend I moved most of my work clothes over to get ready for my industry rotation in Thousand Oaks. It is a bit scary because i've never done industry before and therefore have no experience in it. I am somewhat terrified that I will look dumb on my first day. But also I am really hoping this will be an eye opening experience for me since I have no idea whether to go into industry or hospital (if they will have me) 8 months from now. If i dont suck too much, maybe i can even get a rec letter out of it (fingers crossed).
I'm really not enjoying this anxiety. not knowing what to expect. but i've had the same feelings before right before my medicine rotation. This can't be worse, right? at least i dont have to constantly pull from my clinical background (and i have NONE). but at the same time, i'm a HORRIBLE writer. so if i have to review any medical literature and come up with a somewhat presentable material, it will be a ridiculous piece due to my misplaced articles.
ok, ok, no freaking out today. gotta go blow my nose now.
I'm really not enjoying this anxiety. not knowing what to expect. but i've had the same feelings before right before my medicine rotation. This can't be worse, right? at least i dont have to constantly pull from my clinical background (and i have NONE). but at the same time, i'm a HORRIBLE writer. so if i have to review any medical literature and come up with a somewhat presentable material, it will be a ridiculous piece due to my misplaced articles.
ok, ok, no freaking out today. gotta go blow my nose now.
2009年9月25日 星期五
caught the flu...
how could this be happening?
so 2 days ago it was one of hottest days in LA and i thoroughly enjoyed using other people's AC by visiting different coffeeshops/bookstore/hairdresser's. and that night i started runny nose. The morning after i woke up with killer sore throat and just general fatigue. i felt so crappy that i had to cancel a prior appt with a friend. then i pretty much stayed home all day. Last night it escalated a little. I woke up at 4am with just this really nauseaus feelings. but i wasn't able to throw up or really "go" in the bathroom. the rest of the day i felt really weak and i had to cancel another appt due to my condition.
I started measuring my oral temp, and it was consistently 98.6F which is the highest end of the normal range. i just felt like i had this low grade fever all day long that is making it impossible for me to really sleep restfully or even read in bed. periodically i'd get out of bed to eat and drink a little (so far cranberry/apple juice).
i read online that during summer time most young people who contract the flu most likely have H1N1 (shit!). and i pretty much have most of the symptoms: runny nose, sore throat, diarrhea, low grade fever, weakness in muscles. but nothing urgent that i need to immediately be treated for like chest pain or high fever or altered mental status. I am following the CDC guide and just stay home until i'm fever free.
how this happened i have NO IDEA. it definitely sucks that i caught the flu. now i'm trying to protect my family by staying at least 6 feet from them and alcohol disinfect my hands when i've touched the remote or used the bathroom. I try to stay in my room most of the time and it's driving me crazy.
and i look like shit. i haven't showered in three days and my hair is disgusting.
so 2 days ago it was one of hottest days in LA and i thoroughly enjoyed using other people's AC by visiting different coffeeshops/bookstore/hairdresser's. and that night i started runny nose. The morning after i woke up with killer sore throat and just general fatigue. i felt so crappy that i had to cancel a prior appt with a friend. then i pretty much stayed home all day. Last night it escalated a little. I woke up at 4am with just this really nauseaus feelings. but i wasn't able to throw up or really "go" in the bathroom. the rest of the day i felt really weak and i had to cancel another appt due to my condition.
I started measuring my oral temp, and it was consistently 98.6F which is the highest end of the normal range. i just felt like i had this low grade fever all day long that is making it impossible for me to really sleep restfully or even read in bed. periodically i'd get out of bed to eat and drink a little (so far cranberry/apple juice).
i read online that during summer time most young people who contract the flu most likely have H1N1 (shit!). and i pretty much have most of the symptoms: runny nose, sore throat, diarrhea, low grade fever, weakness in muscles. but nothing urgent that i need to immediately be treated for like chest pain or high fever or altered mental status. I am following the CDC guide and just stay home until i'm fever free.
how this happened i have NO IDEA. it definitely sucks that i caught the flu. now i'm trying to protect my family by staying at least 6 feet from them and alcohol disinfect my hands when i've touched the remote or used the bathroom. I try to stay in my room most of the time and it's driving me crazy.
and i look like shit. i haven't showered in three days and my hair is disgusting.
2009年9月24日 星期四
sick today
i woke up with a pretty bad runny nose that continued from last night despite my good effort of taking that super disgusting alka seltzer which almost made me puke. and my body was aching all over and my sore throat made swallowing breakfast really difficult.
i'm hoping i'ts not swine flu or anything. judging from the fact that i haven't had really bad fever and chills and n/v/d i should be fine. hopefully it's only bacterial. but still. 4 more days til next rotation. this is BAD news.
and now everyone's out of the house becuase they dont want to catch it from me. what am i gonna have for lunch after i drag myself out of bed???
i'm hoping i'ts not swine flu or anything. judging from the fact that i haven't had really bad fever and chills and n/v/d i should be fine. hopefully it's only bacterial. but still. 4 more days til next rotation. this is BAD news.
and now everyone's out of the house becuase they dont want to catch it from me. what am i gonna have for lunch after i drag myself out of bed???
2009年9月22日 星期二
wrestled with internet again
So today somewhere in the middle of my email writing it stopped working again. I tried everything i knew (which is not much). rebooted everything, checked my computer settings, nothing worked. so the problem lied with my wireless router as i found out later (great). I called Linksys and of course my call was transferred to some non-US facility. the lady managed to get my internet from Time Warner disconnected while setting the router back to default. great. So i had to hang up, call Time Warner to resend the signal, and call linksys back. This time a different guy with a even thicker accent answered. He wouldn't help me change the security settings of my router so my PDA could pick up the signal because he said his job was done once the router was working with my computer. (FYI: you have to set your router on a specific channel/as well as either WPA or WEP in order to get it to work with your PDA). and he didn't even know what a PDA was and asked me to explain. WTF!
At this point i was ready to give up. I called up another techinical support i've tried before who charged for their service. And apparently the package i paid for last time was only good for a week of support. I would have to pay an additional $70 for them to help me configure my router/PDA.
Although over the years i've somewhat trained myself to be a little tech/auto savvy due to the fact that 1) i dont have a bf who can help me with all that stuff and 2) i have 98% female friends.
There are days when you think dating someone from the Geek Squad is the fartherest thing from your mind, and there are days when you think you would give up a muscle man to go out with a geek. Today would be a good day to date one.
At this point i was ready to give up. I called up another techinical support i've tried before who charged for their service. And apparently the package i paid for last time was only good for a week of support. I would have to pay an additional $70 for them to help me configure my router/PDA.
Although over the years i've somewhat trained myself to be a little tech/auto savvy due to the fact that 1) i dont have a bf who can help me with all that stuff and 2) i have 98% female friends.
There are days when you think dating someone from the Geek Squad is the fartherest thing from your mind, and there are days when you think you would give up a muscle man to go out with a geek. Today would be a good day to date one.
should i stay or should i go now
Yesterday was the first of the many events that can potentially affect my immediate future- residency showcase. Lately I've been thinking a lot about doing it or at least a fellowship and where i might want to do it. Ideally, in a different city. But i was sharing those sentiments with my parents who are in town and they did not like what they heard. I was told that i should probably check out some of the hospitals closer to where we live and so i can continue living HERE. this was not the first time we had this discussion about how much i hate LA and want to move out. So i was feeling pretty frustrated.
I went and checked out most of the programs..and i liked what i saw. the residents and the directors were nice and friendly. And even though i knew the chances of me getting into the top programs were as slim as a needle, i enjoyed talking to them and finding out the information i wanted to know. Basically, with some programs you could structure it however way you want it. there's some core rotations, some inpatient, some ambulatory. But there's a good variety so you're exposed to everything. I might even apply to some of the programs i had not considered before.
So the question is, should i stay or should i go? Again i'm sure somehow i will come back here or go 'home home' when i'm done with all the craziness. But right now my mentality is very much getting the heck out of here. even if it's only san diego. I understand that if i stayed in LA i'll have more opportunities to be with my family when they visit. But also dont thinkg being in my late twenties and living home is a good idea. I miss it when i had roommates and was actively meeting people and having a social life. and i REALLY need to do that for my own sake so i can feel like an independent woman again.
Of course, now that i've spent so much time in soCal, most of my friends will be here after we graduate. And I really enjoy the fact that i can go get a drink after work and rant about rotation/school after a really long day. And on the weekends i can hang out with another group and just be comfortable with who i am. these are the things i will have to give up once i move. Because let's face it, a lot of things can go wrong when you're by yourself in a different city. you could have a super inconsiderate roommate, or colleagues who you dont get along with, and residency programs that drive you insane and pay you pocket change for the time you put in. and within 3 weeks you'd want to go home. yes these are indeed very concerning risks. but i think im still young enough to face all that challenges before i really committ myself to a long-term job back home and stay with that company until i'm fifty (or whenever i'm laid off). I'd like to use the last couple years in my twenties being adventurous and career oriented and possibly get the love life going again after a super long hiatus (which made people suspect that i was actually a lesbian).
so now i gotta convince my parents that it's a good idea, AFTER i get in.
I went and checked out most of the programs..and i liked what i saw. the residents and the directors were nice and friendly. And even though i knew the chances of me getting into the top programs were as slim as a needle, i enjoyed talking to them and finding out the information i wanted to know. Basically, with some programs you could structure it however way you want it. there's some core rotations, some inpatient, some ambulatory. But there's a good variety so you're exposed to everything. I might even apply to some of the programs i had not considered before.
So the question is, should i stay or should i go? Again i'm sure somehow i will come back here or go 'home home' when i'm done with all the craziness. But right now my mentality is very much getting the heck out of here. even if it's only san diego. I understand that if i stayed in LA i'll have more opportunities to be with my family when they visit. But also dont thinkg being in my late twenties and living home is a good idea. I miss it when i had roommates and was actively meeting people and having a social life. and i REALLY need to do that for my own sake so i can feel like an independent woman again.
Of course, now that i've spent so much time in soCal, most of my friends will be here after we graduate. And I really enjoy the fact that i can go get a drink after work and rant about rotation/school after a really long day. And on the weekends i can hang out with another group and just be comfortable with who i am. these are the things i will have to give up once i move. Because let's face it, a lot of things can go wrong when you're by yourself in a different city. you could have a super inconsiderate roommate, or colleagues who you dont get along with, and residency programs that drive you insane and pay you pocket change for the time you put in. and within 3 weeks you'd want to go home. yes these are indeed very concerning risks. but i think im still young enough to face all that challenges before i really committ myself to a long-term job back home and stay with that company until i'm fifty (or whenever i'm laid off). I'd like to use the last couple years in my twenties being adventurous and career oriented and possibly get the love life going again after a super long hiatus (which made people suspect that i was actually a lesbian).
so now i gotta convince my parents that it's a good idea, AFTER i get in.
2009年9月20日 星期日
Back from Chicago. this is the 2nd time i've visited the wind city in the past 6 months. Still very fun nevertheless. got to do a lot of things I didn't get to do last time. for example, getting a Go Card and maximizing its use:
1. taking the Gray Line tour of the South side of Chicago: didn't get to pop in this neighborhood at all last time i was here. it was pretty easy to get to the meeting point where the tour departed. We drove passed Kenwood where Obama's house is and the local pizzeria/barbershop/baskin robins etc. also University of Chicago and its medical center where i will never get in...
2. Skydeck on the now Willis Tower (formerly Sears). super fun because i could cut in front of everybody with my GoCard and there weren't that many visitors anyway. the view was fantastic and i thoroughly enjoyed the Ledge, the new glass installation/protrusion out the building on the 103rd floor you can literally stand on and watch the traffic beneath your feet. I should have been really scared, but i wasn't because the excitement took over too much. ;)
3. visited ALL of the museums: because they were all included!! so we visited the Adler Plantetarium (fun x1), Shedd Aquarium (fun x 3, lots of exotic fishes and the white whale), and the Field Museum (fun x 100, Sue the T. Rex and lot of other interesting stuff about earth and its beginnings were on display. oh, and the largest mummies collections).
4. and i finally got to window shop. last time i hit magnificent mile i was so tired i literally just sat on the bench in the lobby. but this time we actually took our time with the 900 shops and the water tower place and nordstrom and neiman marcus...it was shopping heaven! Although i still didn't buy anything because i was too lazy to try anythng on and bring anything back...but Macys on State st was real pretty for sure.
5. different coffeeshops! one of my favorite things to do while being outside of east LA where the closest choice is usually..you guessed it..starbucks! or coffeebean/seattle's best/peet's. we took our time to try out every coffeeshop around the corner. and i really loved Argo Tea (i experienced tea euphoria there) and Lavazza coffee and au bon pain and Corner Bakery. can i PLEASE move to a big city already where there's tea shops around the corner where i live???
6. Pizza- Giordanos. Yum last time, Yum this time.
7. Hot Dog - Portillo's. yum both times. the italian sausage was to die for.
8. Signature room on the 95th floor of JOhn Hancock tower - love both times. had a bottle of sparkling wine which tasted yummy and the plum tart and coconut bavarian. interesting desserts i never had before.
9. Architecture cruise and Navy Pier (and the firework show at night)
10. the Bean, art institue (the Grant Wood drawing was there this time!)
11. and the people were exceedingly nice. i wish i didn't have to choose btw moving away to somwhere i really like and some place whre i can be close to my friends and family. :( everybody knows how much i LIKE LA...but this is where most my friends/family are...
last trip before the start of my rotation next week! ><
1. taking the Gray Line tour of the South side of Chicago: didn't get to pop in this neighborhood at all last time i was here. it was pretty easy to get to the meeting point where the tour departed. We drove passed Kenwood where Obama's house is and the local pizzeria/barbershop/baskin robins etc. also University of Chicago and its medical center where i will never get in...
2. Skydeck on the now Willis Tower (formerly Sears). super fun because i could cut in front of everybody with my GoCard and there weren't that many visitors anyway. the view was fantastic and i thoroughly enjoyed the Ledge, the new glass installation/protrusion out the building on the 103rd floor you can literally stand on and watch the traffic beneath your feet. I should have been really scared, but i wasn't because the excitement took over too much. ;)
3. visited ALL of the museums: because they were all included!! so we visited the Adler Plantetarium (fun x1), Shedd Aquarium (fun x 3, lots of exotic fishes and the white whale), and the Field Museum (fun x 100, Sue the T. Rex and lot of other interesting stuff about earth and its beginnings were on display. oh, and the largest mummies collections).
4. and i finally got to window shop. last time i hit magnificent mile i was so tired i literally just sat on the bench in the lobby. but this time we actually took our time with the 900 shops and the water tower place and nordstrom and neiman marcus...it was shopping heaven! Although i still didn't buy anything because i was too lazy to try anythng on and bring anything back...but Macys on State st was real pretty for sure.
5. different coffeeshops! one of my favorite things to do while being outside of east LA where the closest choice is usually..you guessed it..starbucks! or coffeebean/seattle's best/peet's. we took our time to try out every coffeeshop around the corner. and i really loved Argo Tea (i experienced tea euphoria there) and Lavazza coffee and au bon pain and Corner Bakery. can i PLEASE move to a big city already where there's tea shops around the corner where i live???
6. Pizza- Giordanos. Yum last time, Yum this time.
7. Hot Dog - Portillo's. yum both times. the italian sausage was to die for.
8. Signature room on the 95th floor of JOhn Hancock tower - love both times. had a bottle of sparkling wine which tasted yummy and the plum tart and coconut bavarian. interesting desserts i never had before.
9. Architecture cruise and Navy Pier (and the firework show at night)
10. the Bean, art institue (the Grant Wood drawing was there this time!)
11. and the people were exceedingly nice. i wish i didn't have to choose btw moving away to somwhere i really like and some place whre i can be close to my friends and family. :( everybody knows how much i LIKE LA...but this is where most my friends/family are...
last trip before the start of my rotation next week! ><
2009年9月14日 星期一
ahh no time!
haha it's already pretty late and i really should hit the bed soon. so i'm just gonan write up a short one. went to santa monica today and got a blazer (FINALLY)...been wanting one of those forever and now i finally have one. goes with everything and looks instantly dressed up. my FIRST blazer. :) at a reasonable price too. took my parents to Anisette Boulangerie. ordered some beef tartare, steak au poivre and salmon tartine. delicieux.
will update about my annoying neighbors later. but yeah. few things in life can get me REALLY WORKED UP. one of them being extremely inconsiderate neighbors who park their cars on the driveway next to my window every night/morning, leave their engine on, play piano until midnight, have construnctions year-round that start at 7am, and let their super whiney and loud kids cry into the night (and morning) without any sort of intervention. still trying to come up with a good way to get back at them without breaking the law or shouting obscenities out my window. any ideas?
will update about my annoying neighbors later. but yeah. few things in life can get me REALLY WORKED UP. one of them being extremely inconsiderate neighbors who park their cars on the driveway next to my window every night/morning, leave their engine on, play piano until midnight, have construnctions year-round that start at 7am, and let their super whiney and loud kids cry into the night (and morning) without any sort of intervention. still trying to come up with a good way to get back at them without breaking the law or shouting obscenities out my window. any ideas?
2009年9月11日 星期五
yee haw!
yep! it's that time of the year again. what i did yesterday was precisely that, attending the LA county fair! i'm HUGE on county fairs, whatever county i've resided in i have to attend their county fairs. yesterday was a perfect day to go, a weekday so probably less crowded and cheaper and so close to home, i took my parents to the county fair. Of course, what is a county fair without paying a visit to the barn animals..? We stopped by my favorite section..PIGS!! haha these piglets were taking their afternoon nap in groups. for some odd reason (as i've noticed before) they love to sleep in a pile right next to each other. i have a series of photos following them migrating to literally on top of each other. they were also super cute when they ran. it totally reminded me of my Babe stuffed animal at home. can i PLEASE get a pet piglet??? their snouts are just too cute!
haha yeah. i literally can go on and on forever about how cute these piglets are. i'm pretty sure instead of a cat lady, i will turn into a pig lady with no doubt. so the rest of the time we ate a frozen lemonade (hmmmm~) and walked through different exhibition halls. i got these lotion and skincare set from a lady who makes organic products in beverly hills. felt nice on my skin so i got a set. then we walked by a booth that sold these magic mops (think tv infomercial) and it was literally that. the guy demonstrated how good his product was and we were sold. well, we needed a mop to replace our Wetjet anyway. these microfibers on the mop was supposed to be so good that the static picks up everything. you can then use the same mop with some water to MOP the floor.
Our last purchase was 2 pairs of Ray Ban imitations...2 pair for $15. haha! i dont mind the tackiness as long as they looked good and they did.
ahhh..i LOVE county fairs. :)
2009年9月9日 星期三
fetished guys
Today i was running a bunch of errands in the morning, including picking my car up from the garage...the damage parts from previous accidents were fixed, and with the insurance kicking in cost about $500. I was missing it a lot when i was on my trip, and when i reunited with it i almost couldn't recognize it! the entire right side was perfect. they matched the color and really did a great job. and THEN....
As i was driving home in super good mood, i came to a red light. i noticed the car next to me (in the left turn lane) stopped as well (and there was no car in front of it, so he was practicaly stopped in the middle of the left turn lane next to me). NOrmally i wouldn't even bother to turn because i hate how sometimes drivers check each other out in LA (because we are all bored in traffic, i suppose). but today i did. I thought i might have a flat tire (happened a month ago). so i rolled down my window, and this dude was looking straight at me. and then he mouthed something. i was like what? and he said it again. and now i heard it loud and clear. he was asking for a friggin BODY MASSAGE! i mean, WHAT THE F**K! because i'm asian i know how to give massages with my toes with botanical oil? what the hell?! i was so shocked at how offensive this whole thing was and how disgusting a human being this guy was and how unbelievable shit like this even happened to me. who does he think he is? are there still psychos like him who go around thinking asian females are submissive and hypersexual? the thought angers me.
The funny thing is, i recently read an article about the latest TROPHY WIVES, being young, foxy asian females coupled up with disgustingly old, out of shape, twice or thrice her age white business tycoons (please refer to the latest issue of marie claire) and i totally agree with the author! she (asian as well) was merciless in her article and attacked every aspect of these relationships. these horribly dysfunctional relationships and many others between highly unmatched interracial couples make asian females look highly (and easily) attainable. thanks to these ladies i will continue to be harrassed by freaks everywhere old enough to be my grandpa and still want to sleep with me or get a full body massage.
Oh god i'm so angry at that guy. he needs to shoot himself.
As i was driving home in super good mood, i came to a red light. i noticed the car next to me (in the left turn lane) stopped as well (and there was no car in front of it, so he was practicaly stopped in the middle of the left turn lane next to me). NOrmally i wouldn't even bother to turn because i hate how sometimes drivers check each other out in LA (because we are all bored in traffic, i suppose). but today i did. I thought i might have a flat tire (happened a month ago). so i rolled down my window, and this dude was looking straight at me. and then he mouthed something. i was like what? and he said it again. and now i heard it loud and clear. he was asking for a friggin BODY MASSAGE! i mean, WHAT THE F**K! because i'm asian i know how to give massages with my toes with botanical oil? what the hell?! i was so shocked at how offensive this whole thing was and how disgusting a human being this guy was and how unbelievable shit like this even happened to me. who does he think he is? are there still psychos like him who go around thinking asian females are submissive and hypersexual? the thought angers me.
The funny thing is, i recently read an article about the latest TROPHY WIVES, being young, foxy asian females coupled up with disgustingly old, out of shape, twice or thrice her age white business tycoons (please refer to the latest issue of marie claire) and i totally agree with the author! she (asian as well) was merciless in her article and attacked every aspect of these relationships. these horribly dysfunctional relationships and many others between highly unmatched interracial couples make asian females look highly (and easily) attainable. thanks to these ladies i will continue to be harrassed by freaks everywhere old enough to be my grandpa and still want to sleep with me or get a full body massage.
Oh god i'm so angry at that guy. he needs to shoot himself.
2009年9月7日 星期一
mental stress, already
I just finished corresponding with a friend via email and found out about the happenings from her rotation. and immediately the stress came back. it's only been 2 days after i returned from prague and right away i feel like i'm behind already. this is bad. i'm feeling GUILTY about taking a break.
Basically i was updated about her rotation. she's taking a particularly challenging one that requires a lot of hours but she's also learning a lot. but her preceptor was nice enough to take them out to celebrate the midpoint of her rotation. and the attending physician took the whole team out to dinner. yes i know, none of this ever happened to me.
I'm feeling anxious and sort of sad at the same time. like i know i wont be having any more hospital rotations until next year. and during this time i will be forgetting everythign i've learned thusfar and will look bad during my interview. and regarding the social aspect, i was never treated liek a part of the team during my hospital rotation. i was never directly talked to, neither was i invited to any of their mini lectures. my friend's attending asked her to listen to the pt's chest with the stethoscope and also invited her to coffee with the rest of the team. my other friends would go to dim-sum or Yardhouse with their preceptors and that never happened to me either.
I'm looking at the Prague city guide that is sitting on my desk right now and it all feels so far, far away.
Basically i was updated about her rotation. she's taking a particularly challenging one that requires a lot of hours but she's also learning a lot. but her preceptor was nice enough to take them out to celebrate the midpoint of her rotation. and the attending physician took the whole team out to dinner. yes i know, none of this ever happened to me.
I'm feeling anxious and sort of sad at the same time. like i know i wont be having any more hospital rotations until next year. and during this time i will be forgetting everythign i've learned thusfar and will look bad during my interview. and regarding the social aspect, i was never treated liek a part of the team during my hospital rotation. i was never directly talked to, neither was i invited to any of their mini lectures. my friend's attending asked her to listen to the pt's chest with the stethoscope and also invited her to coffee with the rest of the team. my other friends would go to dim-sum or Yardhouse with their preceptors and that never happened to me either.
I'm looking at the Prague city guide that is sitting on my desk right now and it all feels so far, far away.
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