my 2nd worst nightmare

Yes. something major happened today. and i'm still shaken from it. and very upset.

When I started working at the pharmacy i realized that the chances of running into people i dont want to see are pretty darn high, considering i serve about 500/day and most of them live in or around Pasadena. I could easily run into someone from high school, or someone who i'd love to punch out, namely, my ex (and there's only one).

But i never thought that it would be today, a week after my pretty low key Valentine's day, just when i feEL pretty good about having a sweet life with close friends and am A-OKAY with being single. No i didn't run into my ex, i ran into HIS MOM. last time i talked to her was 8 years ago, right after the break up. she was nice and we talked briefly on the phone, and i was in tears. and then we never spoke again because obviously, me and hunter never got back together. and i no loner wish to have anything to do with him, or know what he's been doing. If anything I prolly wished him ill. I had hoped that he signed himself for a trip to Iraq, or possibly had some tragic accident, or maybe moved out of state, or got screwed over big time by someone. In anycase, i wanted him to be UNHAPPY (yea,very mature of me). But i never was a big believer in acting civil toward your ex bf. No body has to be civil to anybody, in my opinion.

So what did he do exactly to warrant such ill meaning wishes? well, here's just a few i can think of:

1) breaking up over the PHONE
2) acting like an asshole to me after the breakup
3) saying horrible things to me that killed my confidence for a while (you never thought you would hear such words coming out of the mouth of someone you liked so much before)
4) taking back the present he once gave me for valentine's day or one of our anniversaries (i know, what an asshole)
5) tried to string me along when he moved back to CA and then tried to break up with me again
...

Anyway, yeah, i was screwed pretty bad. and i wonder why i've become so pessimistic about love and am so guy-phobic right now. I just dont see the point of going out with someone who's eventually goin to break up with you. And who is to say that once i get the person to marry me it will last forever? the kind of relationship i am looking for doesn't exist anymore. The people i find myself attracted to nowadays have gf/ are engaged/married. there is no single availabe nice boys who have eyes for you and only you.

And the saddest part is, i went to the back and took off my name tag so that she wouldnt' REALLY recognize me (although i'm sure she's spot my flustered face). and then she called my name out so i had to make conversations with her. she was there with my ex's aunt who was picking up a Rx (i had suspected that people in their family pick up their prescriptions there because i recognize the last name, but thought it was only a coincidence). so i found out that he's still in the area, running a business, and lives pretty closeby (probably too close). and she also waid that she would let my ex know that she ran into me (WHY? OH GOD WHY?). I've finally managed to feel safe again back home knowing the chances of running into him is slim to none. now he knows where i work and will one day march in with a girl in his arm to see my being belittled by rude-ass patients or sweat like a pig during work.

I really wish that i had dated during the past 8 years. i'm a loser in love in so many friggin ways.

p.s. and did i mention that I had to do all this in front of a customer? she could TOTALLY tell what went on, and yet she was very understanding, and nice about it. Bless her soul...