gosh i'm such a big pussy!!! I cannot believe this had happened again.
I'm sorry that I've used this horrible language, but i was so mad/frustrated at my whole attractive-man-phobia today that i really, really have to call myself that.
So the thing is, a few weeks back, the organization i'm involved with on campus invited some industry reps to come and talk to us about working in the pharmaceutical industry. And living the boring, manless life i have right now i was naturally paying more attention to this particular guy who is now a fellow at this company. He's all around cute, attractive, and very friendly. However the event was something like a round table session, where each rep has to answer questions from 5-6 students. Yes i was on the board and naturally i had to take care of the food and the set up and what not, but i really shouldnt' have used this as an excuse NOT to talk to him. So i pretended to be busy because apparently, everytime when there seemed to bea chance i got somewhat jittery and cold feet, and ended up talking to i'd say 10 of guys from his company old enough to be my dad. and got ALL of their business cards.
To remedy the situation, i promised my self that, maybe i'll send all the industry reps a thank-you via e-mail. And HE kindly responded and gave me more pointers as to how to go about applying for a fellowship and what not.
So today my org help another event where we invite more of these reps back, and he was amongst them. it could have been the perfect opportunity to thank him for his advice and to further the conversation. and I LIKE AN IDIOT WALKED PASS HIM 10x TIMES! at one point i even sat down across from him but started talking to this other guy in his company so he ended up talking to another student! WHAT THE FREAK AM I DOING? and he stuck around for a very long time too, getting up to get the ice tea, taking mini breaks, while i LOOKED ON from the other side of the room, usually occupied by another guest from the event because i'd talk to anyone but HIM!
Oh GOD....IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I'M SUPER SELF-CONCIOUS ABOUT MYSELF AND RELATIVELY UNINTERESTED IN FEMALE COMPETITION. bUT IT'S ANOTHER STORY WHEN I'M HAVE SUCH BAD SOCIAL ANXIETY WITH GUYS I LIKE. THIS IS WHY I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE. (sorry for the morbidicity). i just...can't even make up an excuse for my behavior tonight. T_T
2008年2月27日 星期三
2008年2月22日 星期五
rips your heart out
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lV3SHBFyDZM
it breaks your heart just listening to it.
or the choir version, which allows me to embed:
it breaks your heart just listening to it.
or the choir version, which allows me to embed:
Been a while (update for the past two weeks!!!) <--a very ambitious one
Wow, i just realized that it's been more than 2 weeks since i last logged on and said anything about my life....how can i ever make up for it? :P Well here's my legitimate excuse: entertaining my family. There. they visited for 3 weeks and between that and the exams, i really didnt' have much time to say anything online. But just to adhere to the promise to myself, here are the notable events that have occured (both good an bad):
1)Celebrated Chinese New Year at Takami Sushi (see previous posts for my restaurant review): of course this occured during the LA restaurant weeks. I liked the ambience of the restaurant so much that I decided to take my family there. Apparently they've all enjoyed the view from a high building and the 3 course meal.
2)went to a joint social event thrown by the graduate student association (in conjunction with CalTech and UCLA): met no one in particular, but a whole lot of nasties for sure. :P it was held at Boulevard 3 in Hollywood. the place is very interesting as it has these cabanas in the courtyard, and a pond in the middle. The actual club itself has some cirque du soleil type of performance as well as hip hop dance offs. yummy midori sour. but then again, my friend puked at the end of the night, IN MY CAR. that was a nightmare in itself. i had my car detailed the interior and i had to apply some enzyme solution to make it smell not as pungent. let's just say i'm an expert in vomit now.
3)failed a exam, missed a hw, missed a quiz. yes, i'm pretty concerned.:p
4) applied to a bunch of industry internships. i'm doing it in a really scarily systematic matter. i have researched a list of big name pharma's i want to intern for, and have attacked their job search engine mercilessly. i've applied to at least 50 so far, and most of the time the return rate is quite low. we shall see what happens.
5) GETTING ACCEPTED BY IPSF! as i mentioned before, this is a international internship for pharm students. you can apply to 3 diff countries. however the matching rate isn't 100%. so i'm using that as a backup. quite excited about the aspect of interning in a diff country. :)
6) Taking my family to Red White and Bluezz: a restaurant with live jazz music. we tried out diff flights of wines and cheeses. :)
7) WICKED!! let's just say, a far better musical than i had originally expected. our seats were great, the location is convenient, and i'm loving the music. i give it 4 stars. (Only Phantom and Sound of Music get 5, sorry.) :P
1)Celebrated Chinese New Year at Takami Sushi (see previous posts for my restaurant review): of course this occured during the LA restaurant weeks. I liked the ambience of the restaurant so much that I decided to take my family there. Apparently they've all enjoyed the view from a high building and the 3 course meal.
2)went to a joint social event thrown by the graduate student association (in conjunction with CalTech and UCLA): met no one in particular, but a whole lot of nasties for sure. :P it was held at Boulevard 3 in Hollywood. the place is very interesting as it has these cabanas in the courtyard, and a pond in the middle. The actual club itself has some cirque du soleil type of performance as well as hip hop dance offs. yummy midori sour. but then again, my friend puked at the end of the night, IN MY CAR. that was a nightmare in itself. i had my car detailed the interior and i had to apply some enzyme solution to make it smell not as pungent. let's just say i'm an expert in vomit now.
3)failed a exam, missed a hw, missed a quiz. yes, i'm pretty concerned.:p
4) applied to a bunch of industry internships. i'm doing it in a really scarily systematic matter. i have researched a list of big name pharma's i want to intern for, and have attacked their job search engine mercilessly. i've applied to at least 50 so far, and most of the time the return rate is quite low. we shall see what happens.
5) GETTING ACCEPTED BY IPSF! as i mentioned before, this is a international internship for pharm students. you can apply to 3 diff countries. however the matching rate isn't 100%. so i'm using that as a backup. quite excited about the aspect of interning in a diff country. :)
6) Taking my family to Red White and Bluezz: a restaurant with live jazz music. we tried out diff flights of wines and cheeses. :)
7) WICKED!! let's just say, a far better musical than i had originally expected. our seats were great, the location is convenient, and i'm loving the music. i give it 4 stars. (Only Phantom and Sound of Music get 5, sorry.) :P
2008年2月1日 星期五
Hope it gets better from here (Alborada del Gracioso)
There's a lot of happenings this week, particularly the one this morning, and i'm going to start with something that makes it all better:
Above is a clip of Richter playing Alborada del Gracioso , aka the song nodame played in the 交響情人夢歐洲篇. It is composed by Maurice Ravel. More on that later. This is officially my favorite clip of the week.
So,
Mon: found out tire got slashed. had a flat tire. had to replace it completely and was late to school.
Tues: manager and technician giving me the grief, like always.
wed: tried out a new restaurant but scraped my car BIG TIME on the way out of the shady parking lot in downtown LA. Skipped class afterward.
Thur: nothing much.
Fri: OVERSLEPT AND MISSED A QUIZ COMPLETELY. THE FIRST QUIZ AND THE QUIZ I WENT TO OFFICE HOUR FOR AND STUDIED SO DILIGENTLY. DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START TO BLAME MYSELF. NEVER HEARD THE ALARM AT 5AM. ALREADY AM MISSING 10% OF MY GRADE. FOUND OUT I'M REJECTED BY IPSF (INTERNATIONAL PHARMACY STUDENT FOUNDATION)'S SUMMER INTERNSHIP PROGRAM SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. sort of expected this to happen but can honestly say i am sad that i didn't get it, again.
Ok, cannot dwell out that. That is ALL i'm going to say about the happenings this week.
And the thing with french impressionism is, once you start to like it, you cannot go back to the same classical, baroque stuff you always play. you just dont get the same pleasure you did before hearing debussy. Ravel and Debussy sound so out there that when you practice you never quite know if you're doing something right. and the extent of difficulty is just indescribable. which make me not want to play because i get frustrated within 3 bars and i get mad at myself for going back to Sonatina because that's not trying at all. But i want to get better. what a predicament.
Let's hope my bad week ends here.
Above is a clip of Richter playing Alborada del Gracioso , aka the song nodame played in the 交響情人夢歐洲篇. It is composed by Maurice Ravel. More on that later. This is officially my favorite clip of the week.
So,
Mon: found out tire got slashed. had a flat tire. had to replace it completely and was late to school.
Tues: manager and technician giving me the grief, like always.
wed: tried out a new restaurant but scraped my car BIG TIME on the way out of the shady parking lot in downtown LA. Skipped class afterward.
Thur: nothing much.
Fri: OVERSLEPT AND MISSED A QUIZ COMPLETELY. THE FIRST QUIZ AND THE QUIZ I WENT TO OFFICE HOUR FOR AND STUDIED SO DILIGENTLY. DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START TO BLAME MYSELF. NEVER HEARD THE ALARM AT 5AM. ALREADY AM MISSING 10% OF MY GRADE. FOUND OUT I'M REJECTED BY IPSF (INTERNATIONAL PHARMACY STUDENT FOUNDATION)'S SUMMER INTERNSHIP PROGRAM SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. sort of expected this to happen but can honestly say i am sad that i didn't get it, again.
Ok, cannot dwell out that. That is ALL i'm going to say about the happenings this week.
And the thing with french impressionism is, once you start to like it, you cannot go back to the same classical, baroque stuff you always play. you just dont get the same pleasure you did before hearing debussy. Ravel and Debussy sound so out there that when you practice you never quite know if you're doing something right. and the extent of difficulty is just indescribable. which make me not want to play because i get frustrated within 3 bars and i get mad at myself for going back to Sonatina because that's not trying at all. But i want to get better. what a predicament.
Let's hope my bad week ends here.
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